Cold Hearted ⭒ Cobra Kai

2.7.5

Chapter Twenty-Eight: Guilt

"All these voices in my head get loud. I wish that I could shut them out. I'm sorry that I let you down."

~Let You Down by NF~

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Revised: July 12, 2022

Warnings: panic attacks, anxiety, depression, abuse, domestic violence, sexual harassment/assault, language, violence, and other mature themes

A/N: It's a long weekend so I've been able to write a bit in my free time. Yay!

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Zion's POV

He turns back over his shoulder, "And you said I was the only one for you, that you wouldn't stray. We all say things we don't mean." He walks towards the cars yet again and it hits me.

I've officially lost him. It's over.

It's over.

It takes me a second to tear my eyes away from Hawk's figure walking away from me. The boy I love is gone. There has to be a way to fix this.

But I don't think there is. I think this is truly the end. Everyone in my life leaves me at some point and I honestly thought Hawk would never leave. But now I'm here and alone in the woods and I feel a wave of loneliness crash over me.

I look around me and see nobody within viewpoint. I feel my body wanting me to collapse in tears, but another part of me says not to let out emotions. I try to suppress my panic, but fail miserably and end up collapsing on the ground.

Don't cry.

He doesn't love me anymore. He didn't say "I love you" back.

The last thing he said to me sounded familiar. The words, not the venom in his voice; I've never heard that kind of anger from him before.

Then it dawns on me that those were the words I said at the All Valley. I was making sure he knew I was loyal to him and not Robby.

I'm such an idiot. I should have told him what was going on. But now I've lost him and I've lost Robby and I've lost both of my parents.

I begin to shake on the ground as the world feels like it's closing in on me. I slam my fist into the dirt, trying to let out my anger and make the pain go away.

Why am I surprised that I'm losing everyone?

"Z?" I hear a voice call.

I don't know who is calling me and I don't care. I just want to go back in time and tell my past self to never talk to Robby.

"Z!"

It doesn't matter that a voice is calling me. I don't want to move. I just want to stay here forever. I feel like I physically can't move. And how can I? How am I expected to just carry on after my heart has been ripped out of my chest and Hawk stomped all over it?

"Zion, come on," the voice says and unknown arms go to touch my back and shoulders to get me up.

"NO!" I scream in a panic at the feeling of unwanted hands on my body, making me vulnerable.

I jump up and instinctively front kick the mysterious person in the gut. Whoever it is lets out a groan of pain and I relax just a bit when I notice the hands are off of me.