Cold Hearted ⭒ Cobra Kai

6.1.5

"I'm beautifully broken, and I don't mind if you know it. I'm beautifully broken, and I don't care if I show it."

~Beautifully Broken by Ashlee Simpson~

⭒⭒⭒

A/N: An update on a Thursday? Crazy!

Warnings: abuse, addiction, anxiety, homophobia, depression, domestic violence, grief, gun violence, language, panic attacks, sexual harassment/assault, violence, weapons, and other mature themes

⭒⭒⭒

Zion's POV: Two Days Later

Nintey-nine. Ninety-six. Ninety-three. Ninety. Eighty-seven. Eighty-four. Eighty-one...

I try to turn my sobs into deep, controlled breaths as I sit on the edge of my bed with tears streaming down my face. I grip the edge of my bed tightly. I'm alone this time. I thought I was okay.

It was a dream about the future: I didn't have one.

And Kreese appeared, offering me safety just like he had before. And stupid dream me accepted. And then I watched as Kreese turned on me, Robby, Miguel, and even Carmen. Because it was a manipulation. And all he ever does is manipulate.

At least that's what I tell myself to let go of the bit of hope I have left inside that at one point he did truly care. I know it's dangerous to even think that. This dream reiterated to me that I can't let him get too close ever again. I won't let him...

Wherever he is. That thought may be even worse.

After a moment, I get up to get some water to hydrate from the crying. I wonder how long this medicine shift will take to make me feel normal again.

I guess the dream was partly brought on by stress about tomorrow - well, later today - when I meet with Counselor Blatt about college. Demetri and I have last names that start with "A", so we're the first to go. I have no idea what to expect or what to present. I have no real ambition except this karate tournament that I'm more doing for fun and growth as a martial artist than to win a title.

I hate this feeling. I never had the chance before to really look forward and think farther than a couple of months in the future. It was always day by day with my dad, day by day going through school, and week by week prepping for a tournament.

I don't even know who I am or what I really like.

⭒⭒⭒

"Okay, good morning," Counselor Blatt sits down with me in her office. I spin my dad's ring on my middle finger anxiously. "Let's talk college plans, shall we?"

I nod slightly. She gets on the computer and then turns it for me to see my transcript.

"Now, we have everything shifted and updated from the mishap at the end of last year no problem," she explains. "And there are in-progress marks for each class you're taking now. Your GPA is... well, it's average. And there are no AP classes on here." I look down in dismay. "But it's definitely enough for a state school." She looks at me with a smile, "So what schools are you looking at?"

I suddenly feel stupid and like an idiot. She's not even giving me other options except college. I fix my blank stare with a plain answer.

"I don't know," I reply. "Um, I'm not sure if I want to go to college."

"Oh."

My chest burns as I sit in my failure. Maybe this is why my dad pushed for me to have good grades. This is why my mom wanted to uphold that wish of his for me, not that I want to give her any credit.