Meta Knight Adopts You

Human Humor

"Y/N, what kind of jokes did humans make?"

"Oh, you wanna know how to make a human laugh do ya? First takes a super saturated hallway, fill it with shadow demons, then put some funny text on it like ME AND THE BOYS AT TWO AM LOOKING FOR BEANS!"

"You need to calm down and tell me what you just said."

"Me and the boys-"

"How does that make you laugh?"

"... I-... uhm... you have to live through it for it to make sense." Meta Knight's eyes go green. He watches me, before they go orange. Complete confusion.

"Live through what?" I've never heard him more confused. This is kinda hilarious.

"Oh, ya know, stuff." I shrug, and instantly his eyes go yellow.

"Y/N, please explain."

"I don't really know how to explain it. We just... humans find humor in relatability, so we went from like, 'Any one else flip their pillow to the cooler side?' To eventually, somehow more relatable? Like, a picture of a strawberry with a gun and the text, 'this is a stroberry', and honestly, puns never fail to make me personally laugh."

"Can you give an example that, doesn't require visuals?"

"I know the banana song."

"The what?"

"Not at all what I expected from you."

"I like bananas, because they have no bones~"

"Okay... how about..." Sword draws out his words. "Mythology?"

"That's a good one, problem, we have so much." The three look to me. "I'll just give you some of the more popular stuff that people still believed in." Sword and Blade look between each other before giving me a thumbs up.

"Okay, so, Mothman. A giant 6 foot human like creature that has glowing red eyes and giant bat wings. He only flys around at night, and he has a lot of fur or fluff on him. Terrorized local teenagers while they were driving drunk and people have reported seeing him since. Some think maybe he's a deformed bird, others a mutant bat, most popular theory, he's not real."

"Fresno Night Crawlers, my personal favorite cryptids."

"What is a cryptid?" Meta Knight interrupts me.

"Good question, it is just a creature humans can not prove to be real or fake, platypus used to be in the same category until they were put into a zoo for all to see." (Hey, did you know platypus glow green in black light?)

"Back to Fresno Night Crawlers, can I have a peice of paper?" They slide a blank sheet and some pencils over. "Literally just legs and a head." I make a few drawing and pass it back to them, they look and pass it back, I keep doodling more. "My emotional support cryptids, they were caught walking on camera in Fresno, a city in my home state California. One was taller than the other, and they just walked by, that was it. They do nothing and I love them."

"Are any of them supposed to be creepy?" Fair question, humans are fucked up, so why wouldn't they think that.

"Yeah, The Jersey Devil, Goat Man's Bridge, stuff like that, all cursed sorta stuff." I keep drawing them, little skrunkles. "Not many are ever said to attack, that's not usually the m.o. They usually just exist." I flip the paper over and keep drawing.

"Goat Man was known to throw people off his bridge, like, physically fling them. The Yeti/Bigfoot are known to attack, but typically just avoid. Goat man is self explanatory, and Bigfoot/Yeti are tall, strong hairy ape like creatures that just roam around the forests of North America."

"Okay, what about crime? You claim to be a rather violent species, are there any crimes that you know about?"

"Oh Meta Knight don't get me started on true crime!" I smile, and start kicking my legs back and forth. "Okay, so we can go from absolutely horrible to not that bad, maybe just confusing. You don't know all the confusing unsolved cases we have. It's just fascinating to hear about it all... in a weird morbid way."

"Is this something you would like to... 'vent' about?"

"No, that's not what vent means. Venting is talking and letting out all your negative experiences, not usually looking for criticism, just comfort. I can rant about this for hours if you'll let me, but you know, I don't think you guys do well with 'horrific' human stuff."

"'Er soldiers, 'e can take a couple grusm' sub'ects." Blade tries to hype me up, I think I just made him curious.

"Alright, I'll start talking, and you tell me when to stop."

"There was a conspiracy to kill a leader, who was trying to..." Meta Knight rolls his wrist, waiting for context.

"He was trying to get equal rights for all races, which is why he was framed as a racist trying to cash in on a hit." I shrug.

"What is wrong with your species?"

"A lot, do you wanna hear another story?"

"Not really."

"Fair, fair." We stay silent, just sorta relaxing, I'm still doodling more noodle legs.

"'Ow do ya' 'eal wit it?" I look up, Blade asked me the question. I pause and sit in more silence, wondering what to say. Before I just shrug my shoulders and move on.

"Maybe we just... get used to it? I don't know. It just life, ya' know?" I shrug and keep drawing, but I don't shut my mouth. "Hearing the amber alerts, seeing the cop cars, watching the news as people riot at the capital, it just becomes background noise." Silence again, but this time, it doesn't feel uncomfortable, just like a pause you get on the phone with a friend. Not awkward, just, no ones talking. It's nice. "You guys wanna hear about the time I got hit by a car?"

"Wha-"

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Thank you for 700 reads! I was making this mainly for myself, but to know that other people enjoy this story is really awesome to me! If you can help me improve this story by telling me how I can improve my writing or any suggestions to work on, please tell me, I want this to be as good as I can make it. Their aren't a lot of books that have the reader being adopted, so if anyone can recommend some to me, that would be amazing, thank you!

I think I'll be taking longer breaks, sorry for the inconvenience, but my schedule has changed so I can only write so much.