Sir, This is a Wendys {GenshinxF!reader}

300k Views (Bro wut?)

So... at least a quarter of these views were racked up when I was being a lazy whore and on a break. I mean, you guys do you, I'm just a bit confused and the worst part of it is that I've not a clue on what to do to say thanks. Well, beyond just saying 'thank's, but that's boring. So in addition to saying thanks, I'll try to think of something. After much thought and deliberation, aka me just sat there for a solid-like 10 minutes brainstorming before getting distracted. I have come upon the great conclusion of just doing some random shizz which should (hopefully) be fun, in addition to casually dropping where the fuck Avi's gone off to. Anyways yeah, have fun!

Random Conversations between Avieer and Y/n:

"How come you're never in a human form, Avieer?"

"Lazy and there's no reason to if you can just carry me as a slime"

"What am I, your mount?"

"...Perhaps."

"Damn daddy I didn't think you'd ride me like that..." 

"I regret everything."

-

"I'm so bored"

"Why did you end up taking the librarian position then?"

"Avi, have you seen Lisa? Boredom is a small price to pay for the free view."

"One of these days you're going to be caught saying those things."

"Pssh, nahh"

-

"Avieer, are you a dog or cat person?"

"Dogs"

"Wait, really? You give off major cat person vibes."

"Yes, they're

-

"Why do you have a collar, Y/n?"

"I wanted to see if it would fit you."

"I'm not a pet."

"...Sure, anyways c'mere I gotta test it for Scientific purposes"

"No."

-

"By the way, why are you always so tired? It's not like you do anything but sleep, get carried around, and float"

"I have to deal with you."

"Outta pocket, but okay, fair."

"I also have other business to attend to whilst you're out and about."

"wait, what?"

"It's irrelevant to you, so do not worry."

"That's even more worrying?"

-

"Out of curiosity, what'll you do if I were to go MIA for an extended period of time?"

"Uh, I'd hunt you down and stab you for ditching me, probably"

"Noted."

-

"This life really should've been a villain arc. It'd be so much more fun then sitting in a library alone."

"I thought Lisa's existence was enough of a payoff for you."

"She is, but when I'm alone it's still boring as hell."

"Have you tried... reading to pass the time?"

"Jokes on you, I'm illiterate."

-

"Between Dvalin and Azhdaha, who do you think would win?"

"Azhdaha, he not only has ranged attacks, but can heal, and become immune to anemo."

-

"Have you been to Celestia before?"

"Yes, why?"

"Can you take me next time?"

"No"

"Rude."

---

Incorrect quotes

Y/n: "Listen to me Paimon. The only way to establish dominance upon the moon is by mooning it"

Y/n: "Gimme 20 bucks and I'll kill God for you, Gimme 100 and I'll become God for ya."

Avieer: "Y/n, Stab."
Y/n: "WWOOOOO"*off to nuke a bitch*

"I will piss on your corpse and grave bitch boy." -Y/n
"...Piss goblin..." - Avi

"I'll give you 100 Mora to stab that shield hilichurl for me." - Aether

Y/n: "What doesn't kill me should run, because now I'm fucking pissed." 

Avieer: *Annoyed* "I've come to a point in my life where I need a stronger word than fuck" 

Y/n: *sighing* "So apparently the 'bad vibes' I've been feeling are actually severe psychological distress"

Paimon: "Bad things keep happening to me, like Paimon has bad luck or something."
Aether: "Paimon, you don't have bad luck. The reason bad things happen to you is because you're a dumbass."

Y/n: "You fuckers don't know about my knife stick. It's a knife taped to a stick and it's the ultimate weapon."
Xiao: "Spear."

Avieer: "This is such a bad idea."
Y/n: "Then why are you coming along?"
Avieer: "One of us needs to be able to talk the cops out of arresting us when this inevitably goes wrong."

Zhongli: "There is no future. there is no past. do you see? Time is simultaneous, an intricately structured jewel that humans insist on viewing one edge at a time, when the whole design is visible in every facet."
Childe: "???"
Xiao: "...?"
Y/n: "?!"
Everyone Else At Person A's Surprise Birthday Party: "..."
Y/n: "All I asked was if you wanted to cut your birthday cake first."

Y/n: "Is stabbing someone immoral?"
Kaeya: "Not if they consent to it"
Xiao: "Depends on who you're stabbing"
Aether: "YES?!"

Paimon: "I love you guys, you're the best thing that's happened to me."
Y/n: "We're the best thing that's ever happened to you?"
Paimon: "Yes!"
Aether: "I'm starting to feel a little sorry for you."

Y/n: "Fitness tip: never stop pushing yourself. Some say 8 hours of sleep is enough. Why not keep going? Why not 9? Why not 10? Strive for greatness."
Childe: "Next time you're working out do 15 push ups instead of 10. Run 3 miles instead of 2. Eat a whole cake instead of just a slice. Burn your ex's house down. You can do it. I believe in you."
Aether: "There were so many mixed messages in that I can't-"

Avieer: "While I'm gone, Y/n, you're in charge."
Y/n: "Yes!!!"
Avieer, whispering: "Aether, you're secretly in charge."
Aether: "Obviously."

Y/n: "Must be hard not being able to laugh"
Avieer: "I do have a sense of humor you know"
Y/n: "I've never heard you laugh before"
Avieer: "I've never heard you say anything funny"

Childe: "Would you guys be there for me if I was going through something?"
Aether: "Nope, absolutely not."
Xiao: "I hope it sucks, whatever you're going through."
Y/n: "I hope it emotionally scars you for the rest of your life."
Signora: "I hope you reach out to me so I can ignore you."
Scaramouche: "I can't wait to go to your funeral, knowing I could've changed that outcome."

Sucrose: "Hewwo."
Amber: "Hihiiiiii!"
Zhongli: "Greetings, Humans."
Avieer: "Three kinds of people."
Paimon: "I want pudding."
Sucrose: "Four kinds of people."
Y/n: "WHAT'S UP FUCKERS?"
Avieer: "Five kinds of people."

Kaeya: "So are we flirting right now?"
Y/n: "I AM LITERALLY STABBING YOU"
Kaeya: "That doesn't answer my question"