Yen Pov.
IT'S ALREADY three days. I been locked myself inside my room. I didn't eat, bath or even interact with them. I always cry and cry, no one could able to stop me. Halos tulala akong umiiyak habang inaalala s'ya, at ang mga masayang alaala naming dalawa. I loved her with all of my heart. And I badly missing her, her touch, her lips, her hugs, and her loves.
I trying to call her subalit kinuha nila ang cellphone ko and everything to contract her. I really pissing off, galit na ako sa kanila. I don't care anymore about them because they are selfish. Even Bunso, she bothering me, at pinagsasabi subalit wala akong imik. Hindi ko sila pinapansin, at pinapaalis ko sila agad sa kwarto ko. I'm angered, at them, all of them.
“Yen, you need to eat,” pagmamakaawang sumamo ni Mommy sa likuran ko. I hate her so much, to hurting me like this. Hindi naman nila sinasabi kong ano ang kadahilanan.
“Leave,” mariin kong pagtataboy sa kanya. Nakapulupot ang kumot sa akin katawan. Namamaga, at may eye bugs na ang mga mata ko. But I don't care anymore. Nawawalan na ako ng ganang mabuhay.
“P-Please, you need to eat and talk to us. Huwag ka naman ganito. Mahirap din para sa amin ang ginagawa—” I cut her words off.
“I SAID OUT! LEAVE ME ALONE! LET ME END UP MY LIFE!” I shouted angerly, at her. Wala na akong pakealam, wala rin naman s'yang pakealam sa akin.
Nadinig ko ang mabigat na yakap papunta sa kwarto ko. I know they coming and I hate it. Gusto ko silang lumayas, ayokong makita ang pagmumukha nilang lahat.
“Why are you shouting your mother, Yen?!” I heard my father shouted, at me. Pagod na ako sa lahat-lahat.
“Kung ayaw n'yong masigawan! Edi umalis kayo! I don't need you all! Get out!” sigaw kung tungon. For the first time, I shouted them because of anger, pains, and hurts inside my heart.
“Dude, huwag kang ganyan. Hindi mo naman alam ang pin—” I cut his words off.
“Out! I don't need your explanation!” I shouted, at Kuya Khilzel. Now, I don't care anymore about them. Wala katumbas ang nararamdaman kong sakit.
“Sa palagay ko, bigyan n'yo s'ya nang oras para tanggapin ang lahat. Masyado masakit ang kinakaharap ni Yen. Masakit mawalan ng taong minamahal,” suhestiyon ng asawa nito.
Nadinig ko ang mabigat nilang pagbuntong hininga. Kung pagod na sila, mas pagod ako.
I want to rest, I want to die to escape this kind of too much pains inside my heart.
“We just always here t—” again I cut my mother words off.
“I don't need to,” walang emosyon kong tungon. You all made me this.
Then suddenly, I heard she crying but I even didn't feel guilty or hurt like I used to be felt back then. Namanhid na ako, sobrang namanhid na ang puso, at katawan ko.
“I-I miss my baby boy. M-My son who always cared for me. M-My son who always loved me. I-I miss the old you, Yen..” bakas ang suobrang lungkot, at sakit sa boses nito. But I didn't feel anything but empty, at all.
“Huwag ka ng umasa, hindi na s'ya babalik.”
I will never back as me back then. Ayoko ko ng maging mahina na laging nililigtas. I will never back for being useless person. Matapos mawala ang kabiyak ng puso ko, at wala ng babalik na dating ako.
Mas lalong lumakas ang hikbi nito. She was crying in pain but I didn't feel anything. Wala akong ibang nararamdaman kundi galit, pighati, sakit, at poot.
“Maybe my wife is right, he need a time to recover. Just give him a time, and everything will be fine someday.”
Umiiyak na umalis si Mommy, at akala ko umalis na sila but I was wrong. Nanatili si Bunso sa kwarto ko.
BINABASA MO ANG
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