BTS Imagines

Suga ~ Falling Asleep

Monday.

You stared at the calendar you taped on your bathroom door. The marker was sitting on top of your medicine cabinet, you took it and ticked off another day from the calendar.

Two weeks.

You let your towel drop with a sigh as you stepped into the shower, bracing yourself for the warm water to hit your skin. The air inside began to get hot and humid, causing the glass divider to get foggy. You stared at it.

Every damn thing reminded you of Suga.

You remembered how he touched you and how your breath would fog up against the glass wall while he pleasured you and whispered sweet nothings in your ear.

Every day, you thought about how he was doing and you hated yourself for being concerned. You were done with the anger phase a few days ago. Now you started thinking about him again, what if he wasn't lying? What if he didn't really cheat on you with another girl? I should've given him a chance to explain, thoughts of regret flooded your mind.

You shook your head, it's too late now.

You got out of the shower and looked at yourself in the foggy mirror. Something just isn't right, you thought as you study the person in the mirror. You walked out, dressing yourself, depression taking over you. You noticed your phone lying around in your bed. It wasn't ringing.

You wished it was.

You used to have messages and calls every morning but now you have nothing. You stared at it some more, waiting, even though you knew nothing will come.

You jumped, dropping your hairbrush on the floor when your phone rang. Nostalgia hit you and for a moment you were frozen in place. You picked your phone off from your bed and carefully pressed it against your ear,

"Hello?"

"______." Instinctively, you gripped your phone tighter as you reconize the voice on the other line. "It's me, Suga."

He sounded drunk. You didn't speak for awhile as you listened to him speak nonsense, "I want to see you. I wish I could see you again. I need you. I've been missing you so bad but I can't-" he stopped. You heard coughing in the background before the line went dead.

You drop your hand to your sides. Thoughts flooded in your head after his phone call. He didn't make sense but you were happy he called. His voice jumpstarted your heart back to life.

What now? You asked yourself. So what if he called? The fact that he was unfaithful to you wouldn't change, Your mind dictated and you knew it was the truth.

It was painful but you needed to accept all of it for you to finally rid yourself of your lingering feelings for Suga.

The noise your footsteps made as you hurriedly ran echoed through the empty staircase of Suga's apartment building. You didn't know why but you found yourself standing in front of his door, chest heaving as you catch your breath. You tried the key he gave you and it still worked. He hadn't changed his keys yet.

Something sparked inside you. Did this mean something to you?

You opened the door and slowly walked inside, feeling the carpet underneath the soles of your feet. The smell of alcohol strongly covered the room. You let your eyes trail the empty bottles of liquor on the foot of his bed. A single lampshade emitted enough light for you to recognize his unconscious figure on the bed, holding yet another unfinished bottle of liquor.

A tear threatened to fall from your eyes. Seeing him like this made you realize that Suga, needed you. Why else would he be drunk if he didn't care about your relationship, if he didn't care about you? You feel your regret falling from your eyes, you tried to push the sobs back in your throat but it was useless.

Suga began to awoken, hearing your sobs. Slowly, he fluttered his eyes open, squinting at first.

"_______?" He mumbled in his slurred speech as sat himself up. He closed his eyes again when he saw you crouching down in front of him, "Man, I'm so drunk. My brain must be fucking with me. She'll never come back, not after what I did." Suga laughed bitterly before holding the bottle against his mouth and drank from it again.

"I HATE YOU!" You shot up and slapped the bottle away from his hand, "What fault did you do to deserve this?! Why didn't you fight for me? Why didn't you tell me that you didn't cheat on me? That you love me?" You hit him repeatedly on his chest as your tears mess up your face, "Why did you let me go, Suga?"

You woke him up from his pathetic state. That's when he realized that his drunken state had no connection with you being infront of him. You were real and you were kissing him. Suga was more convinced when he wrapped his arms around you. He pulled you closer against his body. You feel his chest heave in sync with yours.

"I'm sorry.. It's my fault." You said against his lips, "I thought you didn't want me anymore." His fingers dug into your skin.

"Impossible." Suga replied, touching his forehead against yours, "I will always want you, ________."

You stared into his eyes, bloodshot and tired, "I love you." You said against his lips. Your fingers brushed against his hand and you noticed he was holding an orange container.

You pulled away from the kiss, "What's this?"

He looked at the container and his hands began to tremble, "I'm sorry. I thought you hated me.." A tear fell from his eyes, you hurriedly wipe it with your thumb.

"What did you do, Suga?" You feel your hands tremble too as your tears blur your vision even more. Your knees weakened and you dropped the container that used to contain narcotics. Now the tears wouldn't stop flowing from your eyes as your whole body shook in fear, "Suga, what did you do!!"

"I love you, _______." Suga dropped the liquor bottle and cupped your face, bringing his forehead against yours. You felt his tears mix with yours, "Sorry." He whispered.

Suga gave you his last kiss. You shut your eyes and just embraced him, keeping him warm as his temperature dropped. You taste the bitter remains of the drug in his mouth, his kiss became sloppy until he wasn't kissing you back anymore.

You cried and cried but you couldn't wake him up this time around. His chest made no movements as he lied down on the bed where you pushed him and told words that you wish you hadn't told him.

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I NEED U GIRL!

HELL EFFIN YEAH the MV rocked!! I couldn't sleep the night I watched it and I keep on screaming on my pillow like an idiot hahaha