BTS Imagines

J-Hope ~ Bad pt. 3

#angst
#abitofsmut?
#mentionsof(ecstasy)
#VicePresident!jhopeau

Hoseok doesn't seem to understand the reason behind your sudden absence. He has always thought that you'd be that one person that he can rely on. That one person who will always be by his side and trust him without any questions asked. He had thought you were his person but you proved him otherwise when you abruptly disappeared from his side without any notice. Not even a single trace of you was left behind. You just packed up and left. It was so easy for you but it was hell for him. Had he not treated you well? Or did you realise that what kind of a person he really was and decided that you cannot be with someone like him?

He chose not to dwell on his own thoughts because it hurt him either way. Hoseok tried to forget, spending most of his nights with escorts just so he wouldn't be thinking of the reasons why you left him. He had spiraled back to to the pit of his guilty conscience and, once again, he found himself back to square one. He was back to the life he led before he met you. It was the only escape he had— a thin piece of paper melting on his tongue is the only resolve he has.

Tonight was no different. Sweat glistened across his chest as the woman on his bed screamed for mercy. Her voice filled the hotel room as she had her face against the soft mattress and her lower back lifted up by her knees. Hoseok didn't feel any different. He closed his eyes and tried hard, losing himself into her used to be so effortless before but now became such a chore. He cannot get himself up to the mood. It just didn't feel right. Was it the tablet he took? Maybe it's messing up with his head right now. Maybe he needs a new recommendation— a new drug to bring excitement back into his veins, because surely this current one is not doing it for him.

Hoseok halted the movement of his hips even before he reached his climax. He removed himself from her and sat down at the side of the bed, throwing the condom into the bin before cleaning himself up with a tissue. He turned to the woman who was now sitting up and handed her the box of tissues for her to clean up.

"Not in the mood?" She asked, her familiar voice is relaxing to him but not as appeasing as yours.

"Yeah. Sorry about that." He answered, standing up to take a towel and drape it across his stark naked hips before reaching for a cigarette.

The woman reached out with a lighter in hand as Hoseok place the stick between his lips, taking the first puff and blowing it out in the air from his pursed lips. "I know our relationship is not a caring one but let me just ask you this.. are you okay?"

She took her own stick of cigarette and lit it up between her lips as well, "I'm not stupid, you know, I noticed that you've been having.. problems getting it up."

"It's nothing. Probably just stress from work." Hoseok replied with another puff from his cigarette, standing outside the balcony. He rolled his shoulder muscles back and stared out into the cityscape.

He took the last puff and crushed the cigarette butt into an ashtray before going back inside, finding her already dressed and preparing to leave, "You're going?"

She turned back to him as she fixed her face with a swipe of mauve lipstick she wore earlier, "We're not having sex so there's no reason for me to stay, is there?"

Hoseok acknowledge her reason and thought it's better not to mess up his arrangement with her. He actually liked her best among the other because she knows where she wants to be and it's not in a relationship. Hoseok reached out for his wallet but she was already at the door, "Wait. You're not taking the money?"

"For what?" She turned to look at him, "We barely had sex. Just call me if you need me again."

With that last smile, she left him on his own. He has been having problems lately and the root of it is too many to count. His mind is not in the right place. It hasn't been since he began working at his father's company. Hoseok couldn't pin point if it was the pressure and the fear of disappointing his family again that had his mentality suffering. He has been doing so well in the company but the constant anxiety was there. Every day he'd work to the bone. He would do whatever his father wants him to do. He did his best to satisfy the expectations that his family has for him and every time he succeeded. It made him grew fearful. What if one day, he'd fail to surpass his own achievements? What if he if he can't overcome his own success? What would happen then?