Eunoia | Sirius Black

|26|

Hogwarts, Scotland Highlands, 1978
December 17th, Frosty

My entire day went in classes and Remus' went in resting. 

Madame Pomfrey neither let him out nor let anyone in and I was secretly glad for it. I hadn't been able to get the blush off my cheeks till night-time and when I woke up today morning, I was not surprised to still see my face still blotchy. 

I dressed up as if I had all the time in the world and then slowly made my way down for breakfast. Still, I had reached the Great Hall in ten minutes and I was not happy about it. 

Why is the castle so small?

With slow steps, with emphasis on slow, I walked towards Dorcas and Marlene. I'd been naturally worried I was interrupting their time too much but Marlene and Dorcas were genuinely glad to have me around. 

I loved them both. One step in front of the other, one step in front of the other and I'm almost there and —

"Elena!"

Fuck me sideways. 

I turned around and made a surprised expression, "Oh, hey."

"Come sit with us," Remus called. 

I narrowed my eyes at him and he just flashed me a big smile. Sighing, I rounded the table towards his side and sat between him and Peter. 

"G'morning, Pete."

"M — Morning, Elena." He stammered, nearly choking on his cereal. 

"Get a grip, mate." James snorted before looking up at me. "You okay, love?"

"Yeah, why?" I replied absently. 

"No reason except. . . oh right, you've been a ghost." James rolled his eyes. "Where have you been?"

"I was busy with N.E.W.T.S and all." I lie with a convincing smile. 

James looks very much unconvinced and leans on the table with his face in his palms. He, Remus and Peter are the only ones here except of course Marls and Dorcas. I need to get out before Ella comes. 

"Lily called me James yesterday," He says with a toothy grin. 

I can't stop my own from slipping out when Remus passes me a perfectly buttered toast, "Did she now?"

"She never calls me James," He says and then leans back again. "You did this."

"J —"

"Remus told us."

"Wh — What?"

My toast slips out of my hands and drops into Peter's cereal, he jumps and screeches and I shoot him an apologetic look. 

James guffaws but stops when Remus shoots him a death glare. "Moony told us what Ella said."

I turn to Remus but James catches my wrist and forces me to turn back. He looks me dead in the eye and says, "We want you here. We love hanging out with you. Remus has a bloody huge crush on you. We miss you, Elena and no matter what your sister says, you don't listen to anybody but yourself."

"James —" I want to tell him it's not that easy but he doesn't listen. 

"I never get involved in sibling matters." He tells me. "You can ask Sirius and Regulas if you please but I don't because I'm a single child and all this makes me feel weird and lost. The point is - I'm still here and I'm not joking even though I have strong urges to - I need you to know, that you're valued by me, by us, and all six years that I've known Ella Hawke, she is the most gaslighting and the meanest woman ever. Don't listen to her, Elena."