Eunoia | Sirius Black

|92|

Godric's Hollow, 1981
January 3rd, sweet oblivion 

When I got back from Hogsmeade where we discussed what had happened, grieved, guilt-tripped and cursed ourselves, I found a letter waiting for me on the sill of my window. 

Benjy Fenwick did not even have bits of him remaining, he'd blasted in the worst way possible. Pandora was farther away from the explosion. It was deducted that he was trying to get her out first, she was lit on fire. 

What was surprising was that Sirius and I were considered dead. They'd thought Benjy and Pandora to be us, having seen only our faces and they'd seen the ashen body of Pandora and bits of Benjy and thought it was us two. 

Dumbledore did not mourn, he conspired. Said it was good for us and now we could do more missions together and no one would know who it was. 

Bullshit. 

I open the letter and my eyes water. Appoline has finally written back after months. 

What I read in the letter though, is nothing short of harsh and brutal. She's blatantly stated that she never wants to see my face again. That even writing this letter has taken her this long for I remind her of her sister's death. 

Not only that, she's blamed me for Louisa dying. I didn't even know she'd died. I was told by James that she would most definitely survive. She said I could've saved her had I tried. 

I sit on my floor and I cry. I cry for nearly an hour before my emotions go numb. And then I grieve a little more. 

It's dark by the time Sirius knocks on my door. I don't want to talk to him. I want him to leave me. 

"It's open."

He steps inside and halts. I'm on the floor with pieces of the letter around me, sometime in my sorrow - I might have torn it. I had no reason to, I was only angry at myself. 

"Elena?"

I inhale sharply and look up at him, I think my eyes might be red and puffy. And then, for the first time in a long time, I offer him the truth. 

"I am divorcing you."

I don't think he's breathing. He was certainly when he came here, but now he's gone as still as a statue, as lifeless as Marlene and Dorcas. As Louisa. 

"What?" The question is barely above a whisper. 

"We married the muggle way," I say, averting my eyes. "so according to the laws, we need to divorce the muggle way. The paperwork will be here soon, I expect you to sign it and come with me to the muggle authorities. I don't want to go through the entire process, we'll obliviate them as we did the last time."

When I look back, a vein in his forehead has popped. He's angry. 

With a gulp, he says, "It's Molly Weasley's birthday. . .Prewetts have invited us."

I frown, "Do you wish to go?"

I hate that I'm asking him this, we used to talk without words. Hell, we didn't even need to talk. 

"I do."

"I'll go, too." I say, "Be outside in fifteen minutes."

He leaves without a word, slamming the door to my bedroom. I flinch but I don't cower. I'm worried in all honesty, I don't want him to take his anger out on himself. 

I go out in a dark red dress that comes to my mid-thighs. I haven't dressed up in far too long. I took my time today, though I didn't need much of it. I don't feel like prettying up. I didn't feel like applying the lipstick shade I usually used to, or straightening my hair like I love to. I left them as they are naturally, wavy. 

Sirius stands there in a black shirt tucked into black pants. I'm shocked he isn't wearing his leather jacket, so much so that I stand there and ogle for a moment too long before offering him my arm for a side apparition. 

He barely looks at me as he takes us in front of the Burrow, Weasley house in Devon, England. 

The house looked as though it had once been a large stone pigpen, but extra rooms had been added here and there until it was several stories high and so crooked it looked as though it were held up by magic. Four or five chimneys were perched on top of the red roof. 

A lopsided sign stuck in the ground near the entrance read, THE BURROW. Around the front door lay a jumble of rubber boots and a very rusty cauldron. Several fat brown chickens were pecking their way around the yard, though they were taking care of little chicks now that it was twilight. 

A few guests were laughing in the yard and I recognised one of them as Kingsley Shacklebolt. 

"Are you sure we should be here?" I ask Sirius. "Dumbledore said it's better if everyone believes we're dead."

Sirius doesn't answer me. In fact, he leaves me and moves forward towards Arthur Weasley who's waving brightly. 

I feel annoyed more than hurt. Assuring myself that only Order members are here anyway, or more or less family who will never snitch, I move towards Molly and giver her a hug. 

Which is considerably hard now that she's still pregnant. I smile, "When's it due?"

"March." She giggles. "It's a boy."

"You look disappointed," I note. 

She huffs out a breath and rolls her eyes, "You would be too if it was the sixth boy in a row, all I want now is a pretty little baby girl and my family would be complete,"

"Sixth boy?" I gape, my jaw on the floor.

She laughs, "Oh, do come in, I want nothing more for my family to meet you and your handsome husband."

I gulp and look in Sirius' direction. He's cradling a glass of Irish whiskey while he looks in our direction and saunters over stiffly. 

"Happy birthday, Molly."

"Thank you, thank you!" She exclaims. "Fab and Gid have gone out for a couple of minutes, they'll be right back. Come on, in you go."

When we both do go in, we're bombarded by giggles and squeals. All we see, are little boys. Of every fucking age. 

"Is that her?" Says a ten-year-old boy with bright eyes.

"No, you dumb arse." Says another a little younger than him.

"LANGUAGE!" A little boy with no front teeth stutters as he hits his elder brother at the back of his head. 

"As he said." Says another tiny man with the same face as the latter. Twins. 

"Aw, look at you! The most adorable little things ever." I frown with a smile, picking the two up in each of my arms as they nuzzle their noses on my cheek. 

I chuckle and kiss their heads and find Sirius looking at me with a strange expression. I think his eyes might be glossed over but it could be just the whiskey.