Eunoia | Sirius Black

|59|

Haslemere, Surrey, 1978
September 17th, moderately warm

Sirius wakes up after two days.

James, Remus, Peter, Lily, Marlene, Dorcas, and Alice are here.

Alice and Frank have been married in secret a week ago due to the increasing Death Eater attacks. Lily was shocked and Marlene was furious to not have been invited but Alice told her that they might have a big wedding in future.

James said that it was likely an ambush from their side. Sirius' group was supposed to go rescue a bunch of muggle-borns from the Malfoy Manor. It turned out that there were a number of high-level Death Eaters over there, including Lucious Malfoy himself.

It hasn't been proven yet that it was him but the Ministry finally agreed to run an investigation after relentless protests.

It was awful, James had said. They were outnumbered vastly but Sirius fought too bravely, he was told by Fabian who was currently in St. Mungo's for critical injuries. But he's okay, was what James had said. They'd all live. No casualties.

I don't understand how that was supposed to make me feel better, though. Sirius hadn't woken up yet and my heart was going to bleed from the amount of pounding it had done the 48 hours.

I was sitting by Remus' side, his arm around my shoulder and my face buried in his familiar cardigan when Lily screamed, "HE'S AWAKE!"

We all basically ran to his room, tumbling over each other and nearly getting stampeded.

Marlene was the first one to barge in the room and then Peter, Remus, James, Dorcas, Alice and then me.

Sirius's beautiful eyes were bloodshot as they came to me and he gave me a weak smile. I smiled back but my lips were trembling.

Lily checked his temperature and hauled an entire cart of potions on the bed, checking every dosage before jotting it down on a piece of parchment.

"Is he okay?" James asks, his voice breaking.

"I'm fine," Sirius intervenes before Lily can answer. "Don't be a melodramatic fool, Prongs."

James and Remus share a look before falling on the bed together and hugging Sirius like they're 3 year old.

Sirius whines but I can feel his happiness radiating across the room. "YOU ANIMALS! I'm alright - Merlin, I'm okay-"

James backs away and playfully slaps Sirius across the head, "You fool! Had us all believing you're dying or something."

"I wouldn't have." Sirius rolled his eyes before they locked to mine. "Someone here saved my life."

Everyone turned to me and James leapt off the bed to engulf me in a hug, "Thank you, thank you, you wonderful woman."

I laugh and pat his back, "I did it for me as much as I did it for you."

"Thank you still, darling." James sniffles before whispering to me, "He's my brother, Elena. If something had happened to him -"

"He's okay," I whispered back, placing a hand on his cheek as a stray tear rolled down. "He's okay, Jamsie boy. I wouldn't let anything happen to anyone you love, alright?"

James kissed my forehead before nodding. Sirius interrupted, "What are you two gossiping like roadside women in the 60s about?"

Remus rolled his eyes, "We were all worried about you, turns out for no reason."

Sirius huffed, sitting upright with a barely suppressed groan. "It was just a few injuries, you morons."

Peter went ahead to give him a hug next and Remus came to my side. He'd seen how wrecked I was and I knew he was suspecting a lot.

"It's not like that," I whispered to him.

"Uh-huh?" He smirked.

"Remus," I glared, "I was worried like any normal human would've been."

"Oh, right." He came to stand by my side, smirking at me still. "That's why you told James you saved his life as much for yourself as for him?"

I widen my eyes, "How do you -"

"Werewolf hearing, sweetheart."

"It's not what you think," I insist.

Remus turns to me, "I'm pretty sure you didn't say that meaning you'd lose your fuckbuddy, Elena."

I nearly wince before he says, "You care about him."

"Of course, I do." I avert my gaze.

"You know what I mean." Remus puts a finger under my chin and pushes it up, forcing me to look at him. "Don't run away from what you feel, Lena."

"Remus, I don't -"

"I know you." He whispers in my ear, the proximity is nearly overwhelming. "I've known you before anyone here has."

I am annoyed enough to throw a hurtful comment about him and Ella but I bite my tongue. He must know what I'm thinking, though because he shakes his head with a frown.

"You know I care about you," He whispers softly.

I nod and he brings me into a hug. Needing comfort, I snuggle deeper into his embrace before pulling away and smiling slightly.

"You know I care about you, too."

He smiles as he knows exactly how much and then turns to Marlene and Peter. Dorcas comes and lays her head on my shoulder and I kiss her forehead in a sisterly manner, this had been a hard day for us all.

Sirius was alright enough to walk around by himself, so we all gathered in the living room to eat something after a long stressful day.

Alice had got us all doughnuts from the nearby bakery while we saw to Sirius's health and comforted each other. Lily sat on James' lap and Dorcas on Marlene's while Peter sat by Remus, Sirius on a beanbag and I was beside him on the floor.

Sirius snaked his arm around my waist and pulled me up to sit beside him, "There's space enough for the two of us here."

I felt my cheeks warm, thrice he's made me blush now. Unable to help myself, I grabbed his hand in mine.

I felt a bit of anxiety about his welfare now, I needed him to be okay. The fear I went through after seeing him that bloody was something I wasn't ready to face again.

When everyone was gone, James and Lily a bit later than the others for James wouldn't stop fussing over Sirius like a mother hen - Sirius was silent.

He's never silent.

"Sirius -"

"Do you still like Remus?" he interjected, catching me off guard.

"What?"

"You heard me." He said quietly. "Do you still have feelings for him?"

"No." I didn't hesitate while saying it because now I know for sure that I don't. "No, I don't."

"Earlier -"

"He was asking me the same. He asked me if I had feelings for you."

His eyes snapped toward mine, "And what did you say?"

"That I care about you?"

He stayed silent for a moment too long as if waiting for more but then breathed deeply and nodded. "I want to go sleep."

"Of course," I whispered, helping him to bed.

That night, I caught myself wishing i was sleeping beside him. Just another weak night, i reminded myself.