Eunoia | Sirius Black

106

The night couldn't have come fast enough. and with each passing moment, Sirius was getting overwhelmed. 

"No,"

"Sirius - "

"I'd had a few shots of tequila, I didn't know what I was thinking raising my hand like that - "

'Sirius - "

"Please, don't go. Elena, you can die - "

"You don't choose my decisions, you support them." I snapped. "We're going to be safe."

Sirius frowned, "I'm sorry, forgive me. I know I can't choose for you but I'm in no way happy about this."

"I know," I sighed, taking his freshly shaved face in my palms. "I promise you' we'll all come out of this unharmed."

"I- Elena?" 

I wasn't listening, my chest - I ran to the nearest bathroom and heaved up all my breakfast. 

"Elena, dear fucking Merlin." Sirius bent behind me, pushing my hair out of my face and rubbing my back.

After a few more moments of dry heaving, I leaned back against his chest. My eyes saw tiny black dots, what the fuck was wrong with me?

"We're not going."

My eyes snapped open, "No, no, no - "

"You're ill,"

"I'm fine!" I stood up steadily, with more confidence than I suspected I had. "I probably had something bad to eat."

"Elena?" Sirius scrunched up his brows.

"I'm okay," I said it once, 

"I can't actively put your life in danger." He huffed. 'There are other missions, missions of your speciality where Alastor would happily let you go - "

"Enough, Sirius. I'm done with this conversation."

"I - "

I sent a glare his way and he clenched his jaw so hard I could see veins near his neck. We packed our lightweight saddlebags in absolute silence, both of us angry enough to not want to talk. 

I had a feeling Sirius didn't believe me but I couldn't blame him. I don't know why I threw up either, I-

My heart stopped, stopped. "Your stomach isn't fat, it's hard." oh fucking hell. 

I didn't have time to confirm it but I turned to my room's mirror, grateful I was alone as I pulled up my jumper before slowly touching my abdomen. 

She was fucking right, at first one might not notice - one being me - but when I moved my hand around, it was hard. It was goddamn hard. Not hard to touch but hard in the way it was for sure not fat. 

When I turned sideways, my stomach looked more like a bump. I was going to cry. 

I heard the door downstairs opening and I dropped my jumper, pulling my jacket from the hook where it hung and zipping it tightly. 

Remus was already there when we used our portkey, the second one provided to us, this one for reaching the highlands. We were supposed to return with our emergency portkeys. 

Sirius didn't leave my hand for a second, barely acknowledging Remus as we treaded over the green slopes and into the dark woods. I gave a smile to the werewolf and he gave one back, dipping his chin, his duffel bag across his chest. 

The woods weren't darker than the forbidden forest, which wasn't far from here. But these came after the forbidden forest hence making them worse. 

We soon reached the location where we were going to find our Thestrals. Moody had said these ones were originally from the highlands and hence had would carry us to our location successfully. 

The fact all three of us could see our thestrals was a fact none of us was willing to discuss. Sirius helped me get on first, not a single word leaving his mouth as he did so and that only enraged me more as I got on. 

He was my husband fine - but he didn't own me, I could make my own decisions. My head suddenly ached, I don't know why I was getting such an intense temper but I was and that was it. 

Remus surely picked up on the tension as we rode but he too, didn't say anything. My thighs hurt from riding for so long but we were supposed to be on our thestrals at all costs in the daytime as per Shacklebolt who was handling this mission for the time being. The dangers came at night but on our thestrals, we could flee fast. 

I felt my head prickle and I knew Sirius was glaring holes but I wasn't gonna look back. I won't be the one to break the silence this time. 

"It's getting dark, I'm going ahead to listen for water." Remus nodded at me, "Call my name if you need it, my hearing is accentuated near the moon."

I mumbled a low 'okay' as he left and stared at Sirius who was riding beside me, his sharp jaw tight and his eyes only seeing the path ahead. Hot rage enveloped me. Did I say I wasn't going to be the one to break the silence? Scratch that. 

"I'm sure the chimaera had fun eating us."

Sirius turned his stormy eyes at me, "Funny."

"When will you stop?" I rolled my eyes. 

"When I'm on my deathbed."

"At least you're frank about it."

Remus returned into view and gestured us to come closer where he'd built two tents in the crevice of a tree while we were riding. 

When I stared at the tent I was gonna share, his brows furrowed. "Is that a problem?"

"No," I smiled. "Who's keeping watch?"

"I'll do that," Sirius announced and I bit my cheek. 

Remus beat me to it, "For half the night, then I'll take over."

Sirius nodded without looking at him and handed me his saddlebag as I went inside the tent. As I'd expected, it was larger inside. One bed, not small but not that big either and few pillows with a small side table. 

I laid down on the bed, sleep not blessing me with its presence tonight. Worry gnawed at my heart, Sirius was outside, alone and unsafe. Thoughts soon shifted to the matter of my stomach and I think a tear might've rolled down my cheek as I looked down at my bare stomach now that I'd removed the riding jacket.

I didn't care about my size or anyone's at all but I had been wondering why I was getting heavier though I had made no change in my eating routines. This was more messed up than I could imagine if Sirius found out - he's already so protective. 

I knew him enough to know he was valid in his worry, and he wouldn't force decisions on me. But he was naturally protective and he'd tower over me every step of the way like a guard dog. A smile graced my lips. I loved him. 

Sleep must've finally taken me for when I woke up, there was a rustling beside me. I shifted my heavy eyes towards the side to find Sirius removing his shirt. 

Even in my sleepy state, I cocked my head to the side at the sight of his abs and biceps. Merlin, he was a spectacle to behold. 

"Did I wake you up?" 

I looked up to find him frowning at me. Shaking my head, I scooted to the side, letting him enter my warm blanket. He sighed, head hitting the pillow with his hair around him like a pool of black water. 

His eyes found me in the dark and without a word, I rested my cheek on his bare chest. Without a word, he caressed my hair. 

"I'm mad at you," I whispered. 

I felt him smile, "We can be mad at each other while you sleep in my arms."

I might've rolled my eyes but soon, fell asleep. When I woke up, Sirius was still sleeping. I slowly got up and got dressed in my leathers. When he opened his eyes and found mine, his eyes flickered with warmth. 

That's when we heard Remus shout.