Eunoia | Sirius Black

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Peregrine Derrek lay down on the floor, a little cut on her forehead as she vigorously shook her head at me. Although, it was too late.

Antonin Dolohiv turned around from where his wand was pointed at Hesphaestus Gore. He grinned, sharp canines pointed at me. The Carrow siblings had been merrily muttering threats in Derrek's ears when they noticed me, too.

I wasn't prideful enough to not save my life. And even though I liked Peregrine, I would come back for her later. Couldn't save my friend if I was dead, could I?

I ran.

"BERRYCLOTH!" I screamed, thinking of his face in my mind.

"Hawke?" His voice came a moment later.

"COME TO ALLEY, NOW! TELL THEM —" My voice cut off as I screamed, falling a yard away on broken glass with a stupifying spell.

"Tell them Death Eaters have our strategists captive. They need help." I panted, "NOW!"

I heard him mumble something but I couldn't focus. Carrows were in front of me, their red hair so much darker than mine, sinister like their soul.

My grandfather had taught me so much more than this. I stood up, wand in hand. "DIFFINDO!"

"LOCOMOTOR MORTIS!"

Our spells clashed but I was alone fighting against three. Dolohov shot a spell at me from behind. "DIFFINDO!"

Knives cut through my entire body, or that's what it feels like. There is a sharp gash on my back and I cry as I fall. 

I am blinded for a moment but it's not long before recruitments are here. Or I assume so. I haven't lost my entire consciousness but it hurts so much I don't dare open my eyes. 

Someone picks me up and I hear Peregrine crying my name. Knowing she's safe makes me feel relieved enough to let myself drift away and tune out everything around me. 

It's not long before I realise we're being carried to the Ministry. I don't dare open my mouth and ask why not St.Mungo's, I don't feel like anything other than sobs would come out even if I tried. 

"Who asked you to send her?" 

It might have been James who shouted, it might've been Remus. I think they were both here, I think Peter was, too. 

"I was ordered by Moody!" Proudfoot explained. "She led the entire strategist team, Potter. She's a grown woman."

"Who's now in Ministry's emergency ward because her clothes are so bloody, we can't even see what colour they were."

"That's your priority?"

"Don't deliberately misun—"

"Calm down, Mr Lupin."

"Calm down? Calm down? Are you joking right now? Is he, Prongs? Gone total nuts, that one has."

"Where is she!?" Someone shouts outside and I know in a second who it is. 

"Black —"

"WHERE IS MY WIFE?"

"Your wife — ?" 

"Elena?"

With what takes the entire energy I have left, I crack an eye open. "S-Sirius?"

Sirius spots me in no time, kneeling down with a huge frown. "El?"

"I. . ." I manage a half smile. "I want to cha-change in my jim jams and go to s-sleep."

Sirius tucks a strand of hair behind my ear and stands with me in his arms. "Let's go then."

"Where are you taking her?" James frowns. 

"You can't take her, Black, she needs healing —"

"She's my wife, fuck yes I can." He sneers at Proudfoot. "And I can heal her better than those lousy healers myself."

Before anyone can say anything else, he's jumped into the floor. 

Sirius tends to me delicately, much like how I did when he returned home bloody. It warms my heart but I don't think I remember half of it by being in and out of consciousness. 

He fed me potions, though. Placed a few crystals around as well. I wanted to ask him when he got them but no words would escape my throat. 

When I'm in bed all stitched up and less pale, he kisses my forehead, spooning me from behind. "I'm sorry,"

I hum in confusion because my throat feels buried in snow. "I'm sorry for being such an arse the other day. I just — I feel like I'll lose you to the war and it makes me so insecure when you talk about leading people and becoming the Minister and now. . .now going after Death Eaters who killed Mr Hawke."

I flinch and he places a soft kiss on my bare shoulder. "I know it sounds harsh but. . .Elena, I'm so scared."

I feel my chest burn with tears, "I'm scared, too, Sirius." I say raspily. 

"I can't lose you."

"You won't."

"But you don't know how much I fear every time I see you with blood on your clothes, mon coeur. It's twice now that I've run with my heart in my throat when I got a patronus claiming you nearly died."

"Si—"

"You don't understand that I'm dreading the day the word 'nearly' won't be there."

"I'm sorry," I whisper.

"You don't have to be," he says, his chin resting on my head. "It was my fault. And I just wanted to say. . .I understand. Your grandfather, I mean. If something happened to one of my friends, Merlin forbid, I'd go mad as a hatter trying to find who did it."

"But?" I asked, knowing there was one. 

"It's not safe." He says. "I will help you do it. I don't want you to go on this journey alone."

I smile, "Thank you."

"It's the bare minimum," he whispers. 

"No, it's not."

He chuckles and shoves something in front of me. I sit a little straighter against his chest and feel my smile grow. 

"Spin," he says. 

So I spin, I close my eyes and I spin because this. . .this is what peace feels like.