The House of Hawke has been called the traitorous, filthy and scum house the entire time that name was known to the living.
Past or future, one would accompany it with the adjective "Horrifying".
It was a matter of grief for the youngest daughter...
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I know I probably shouldn't be working on Christmas Eve.
But I cannot for the love of Merlin go back home. Not before I figured this entire thing out.
I think I might have overreacted when Elena tried to find her grandfather's killer, for now, I'm doing the same for Regulas and I can't breathe until I know what happened.
I know for a fact it wasn't through a battle between Aurors and Death Eaters because the time didn't match. Secondly, only a week later there had been warfare on the Avery manor and he'd called my brother a 'traitor.'
I wasn't thinking much about it until then but when it happened again and again, every Death Eater supposedly hating Regulas overnight; I knew something was being covered up.
I didn't go to missions as often as I used to, but I told Elena I did. Or didn't tell. . .she never asked, either. She doesn't care where I am anymore.
She and I tried in the beginning, but it just kept getting worse. She'd leave for weeks on the end without proper notice and I'd have no way of coping with my anger and worry about it. Resulting in me doing the same thing.
Her W.O.M.B.A.T.S. training started, and she worked so hard day and night. When she wasn't devising plans or leading strategists, she was holed up in her room studying until she passed out.
Sometimes, without her knowing, I'd go inside and kiss my wife on the forehead, tucking her in bed. I don't think she remembers anyway, her exhaustion makes her confuse things.
It hurts me to know she's suffering, but I am too and two broken people can't necessarily heal each other when their only coping mechanism is isolation.
It's nearly Christmas when I decide to leave. I don't want her to be alone for the night, no matter our growing differences.
The locket she gifted me on my birthday gets stuck on one of the hooks of a file I'd stacked in the corner. When I try to pull it away, the file falls.
It's one of the files Frank made while removing the trace off Regulas, including every single one of his records going null.
According to the file, it says the trace got off but by heavy convincing for there wasn't enough proof that Regulas Arcturus Black is dead. I frown at that, not enough proof?
Reading further details, I'm surprised to know that his body was never found. That's partly because I remember Walburga yelling at me about how she had to dig her only boy's grave.
If Regulas' body was never found. . .this could be another point - a strong one - to add in my study of how exactly he died. Because everyone around me is most definitely lying to me. I would've asked my wife but she doesn't trust me anymore, she wouldn't utter a word when Regulas' topic comes on.
Clenching my jaw, I decide to take the files home. It would've been hard hiding them from Elena before but now she wouldn't even care enough to check what was in my hand. The fact makes a sharp pain stab me in the heart. Before, I wouldn't even have to hide this from Elena, we shared every secret.
When I'm about to leave, I see Peter on the same floor, waiting for the lift. "PETE!"
Peter looks back and gives me a brief smile, holding the life for me as we both get it. "Aren't you celebrating the holiday with your wife?"
I shake my head, "It's a muggle holiday, anyway. And I had some work to do."
"You and Elena don't seem to be conversing anymore."
"What makes you think that?" I turn to him.
He shrugs as the lift vigorously jumps and jolts around giving us whiplash. "Nothing, I thought she might be mad at Remus but it's the other way around."
"Mad at Remus?" I frown, "What for?"
"You don't know?" he looks at me all of a sudden, narrowing his eyes.
"Don't know what?"
"Never mind,"
"No, tell me."
As we move out into the Atrium, Peter clicks his tongue. "Remus thinks you're the spy."
I pause, "What?"
"I honestly thought she would've told you." He sheepishly smiles. "It's not a big deal anyway, Lily was mad at him."
"Why does Remus think that?" I ask dully.
"Because. . ." Peter grimaces. "Because of you being a Black. He thinks the apple doesn't fall far from the tree."
I have to grip my briefcase tight as hell so I don't stumble with shock. This is my greatest fear, to become a true Black. And Remus used it against me. I don't think I'm not being a hypocrite but there was proof. There was proof where he was considered.
"If he's defending himself this bad, he is definitely the one." I scoff.
"You good?" Peter asks when I speed towards the floo, realising it's most likely past midnight.
"Yeah, I'm good, Wormy." I look back and give him a tight smile. "Go home to your mum and enjoy the day, yeah? How's she doing anyway? Wasn't she sick?"
Peter gulps before nodding, "She's alright, still sick but. . ."
"I'm sorry, Pete. Take care, eh?"
"Yeah, you too, Pads."
When I get home, I don't avoid Elena as usual. But I don't have to, she's sitting in the living room, staring at the clock numbly.
"It's Christmas." She says without looking at me.
"I know."
"It's three in the morning."
I grimace, "I didn't plan on working this long."
"You said you'd be back by six." She still won't look at me.
"I got carried away."
"By work?" She huffs out a bitter laugh.
"Yes," I tell her honestly.
"Ministry was closed today." She purses her lips, finally locking her eyes with mine. "It was an off."
"It was still open for the Aurors who wanted to work." I shrugged.
"I don't trust you."
This is the first time she's said it out loud. The first time it hit me harder than ever. We've ruined our marriage.
"Elena —"
"Not just that, Black," She gets up, angry. "I detest you."
I don't think I'm breathing. I didn't realise her distaste ran so deep. "Please —"
"I'm off to sleep. There's pasta in the oven, heat it up."
I sleep on an empty stomach that night. I don't think I've eaten in a day or two. I don't think I drank water in a long time. For the first time in four years, I feel lonely.
