Eunoia | Sirius Black

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Haslemere, Surrey, 1979
December 15th, chipping cold

I buried my grandfather in our backyard beside my grandmother's body. 

Tori, our housemaid helped me carry him there. She cried heavily when we decided to bid him the final goodbyes and it made me sob so bad it wrecked my entire body. 

I cried like a baby, cried like I should have when my mother burned. But it was him, this man who had been the only one to love me unconditionally my whole life and I couldn't bear the loss. 

In the furnace of my pain, Tori's little cries pour the fuel. It makes me weak, it makes me pathetic to cry. Even though people often disagree, my mother always used to punish me when I cried. She sowed the seed that has now reaped into a tree of her making.

When I return with Regulas to the manor, nothing is like it was before. This place is cold now, hauntingly melancholic and though Reggie doesn't seem to notice the grief that the house carries, Tori and I do. 

He hugs me and tells me he will never forget me and I tell him I might care for him so he can't die again He pinkie promises and I leave the house as soon as I can. 

When I get back home, it is then I realise it has been two days since I've seen Sirius Black. 

As if on cue, a patronus swishes inside the apartment, sniffing with its tongue lolling out. A black dog.

When he speaks, my heart lurches to a stop. His voice breaks miserably. "St. Mungo's second floor. I don't know where you are, Elena. I don't know — I don't know where you've been. But please, please if you get this patronus, come. Come to me."

I run outside the apartment, still, in the clothes, I was wearing two days ago as I apparate at the hospital. 

The receptionist sees me and raises a brow, probably thinking I'm a homeless person from the mascara-stained cheeks and the messy hair on my head looking wild as fuck. 

I pay her no attention as I ask her where Sirius Black is. It is then she says the most awful words ever, 

"Oh, Mr Black? He's currently with his family on the second floor of Magical bugs injuries."

"What's — What's he doing there? Is he okay? Is my Sirius okay?" 

She frowns, "Oh, yes, ma'am. He's completely fine, he's just bidding goodbyes to his parents. His mother died last night, his father won't be here for longer, either."

My breath hitches and I take the stairs two at a time, all but sprinting to the hallway that the receptionist had dictated. 

When I reach there, Sirius is sitting on the floor, his back against the blindingly white wall and his knees hugged to his chest. James is sitting beside Lily, his head on her lap. Remus and Marlene are standing in a corner with Peter and Dorcas, supposedly leaving the other three alone while they talk in hushed whispers. 

Sirius' eyes are numb and icy cold when they glance up as if he'd known i was here the moment i stepped in. I gasp when his lips tremble and he stands up on shaky legs, starting to walk towards me. 

Remus and the lot turn to look, surprised, but when they see me they frown and nod sympathetically. James is as numb as Sirius is if not more and Lily's eyes are bloodshot from crying. 

When Sirius reaches me, he stands still for all of two seconds before pulling me into a hug so tight I don't dare breathe for long moments. 

His head collapses on my shoulder and he breaks. 

He breaks so badly I have to bite my tongue to not cry with him. His entire body shook as he gave up entirely, falling on his knees and taking me with him. His breaths were too short, causing hiccups as he whispered my name over and over again like a chant.