Eunoia | Sirius Black

Epilogue

There's something strange about being awake and not at the same time.

There's no pain in my head anymore, and I certainly don't feel cold as I did before.

When I look up, I see all who've been in the Hawke family. All who've ever lived with that name.

They stand over me like angels clothed in blood and joy and I crack the slightest bit of smile at the sight of my mother.

"Too long," she says softly.

I nod, seeing and unseeing. Perhaps my mind can't comprehend this image so it sent the tears to blur it.

There's nothing about this that feels bad, nothing that feels unloveable but it's not home.

I get up on no longer shaky knees, the blood gone from my hands. And with gentle footsteps, I walk past them all. Walk past the women who have been my guardian angels - my spirit guides to Home.

Lily knows me before she sees me.

"My sweet Elena," she whispers against me when I get hugged so tight and so out of the blue.

A smile so genuine forms on my lips and I can't help but laugh when I see James making a face behind her.

"He's making goofy faces, isn't he?"

"Scrunching up his nose right about now."

Lily chuckles as she pulls away, her red hair and mine making us look like sisters even though they vary in colour.

James' hug isn't as gentle as Lily's was. It's protective, sad, remorseful. It makes me feel so much that I nearly drop down.

"You stupid girl."

"I'm revoking brotherly rights."

James laughs, patting my back. "That screams my brother."

"A lot of screaming when it comes to your brother."

He immediately scrunches up his nose, for real this time and I grin a toothy grin. "You're stronger than your daddy issues."

"James!" I laugh. "I had no idea you even knew what daddy issues meant."

"Newsflash mate."

"That reminds me the time you and I flashed strangers in Hogsmeade." Lily pipes in and I grimace.

James looks at her incredulously, "You need to hesitate."

"I'm in fucking heaven right now."

"Since when do you curse?" I gasp.

"Since I've been stuck with this loser over here for over a decade."

I smile, over a decade. Harry should be so big now. They see my unasked question in my eyes and James nods.

"Shorter than I am."

"Everyone's shorter than you are."

"He shouldn't be." He rolled his eyes, "He got your genes."

Lily gasps, "Oh, you bloody toerag!"

James starts guffawing when he takes in the scene in front of him. I turn to see what he's looking at and my heart skips a beat.

Sirius fights in a battle in the Ministry.

"He's running so funny."

"He's old, leave him alone." I roll my eyes.

"He's skedaddling."

I slap my palm at my mouth to stop the burst of laughter as I mock glare at James. "You only say that because you can't be that."