Fatal Accident (C.L. & C.S.)

47. Our future depends on me

"You messed up?" – Old lady that was working behind the counter asked me as she put money away. "Yeah, big time." – I smiled at her awkwardly thinking of Jenna. "You know, flowers don't help with anything. It's just old tradition. But expressing your feelings will fix everything, sooner or later." – She finished and walked over fixing few roses that were out of place by now.

"Yeah, but I don't have that 'later'. And I don't want to put pressure on her and I hate seeing her in pain all the time. It's hurting me as well." – I explained as I put my wallet back in my pocket.

"You remind me of myself back in the day. When I got married to my husband. He had cancer. You have no idea how hard it was for me to watch him suffer for a long time. I cried every night in the bathroom just so he doesn't see that it hurts me as well. I always acted strong in front of him." – She took a deep breath before she continued.

"Then he started getting better, and one day he was cancer free. That day I cried out of happiness. Turns out, he heard me crying every night but didn't say anything because he thought I would feel embarrassed. You don't need to say something to know how each one of you is feeling, if it's true love. And if you can see her suffering, and she tells you about it, but you don't do anything about it, then you two aren't made for each other. For good, you two should stay away." – She smiled weakly at me and I thought about it for second.

"She tells me sometimes. But I know when she is in pain. Last night, she lost child, neither one of us knew about. And I thought she was hiding it away from me and before she got to say anything, I took my anger out on her. And left her alone to cope with the pain." – I was ashamed of my actions as I looked down at the floor.

"Did you sleep last night?" – She asked and I looked up to meet her eyes. I was confused by her question but I responded to it anyway. "No." – I answered simply wanting to know where this was leading to.

"Then I am glad you know you messed up. Go there and tell her how you feel, and don't hurt yourselves if you can't make each other happy. Because, if no happy memory can cover up the bad one, then there is no point in trying." – Weak smile appeared on her face once again.

"Thank you." – I smiled walking away and into my car, carefully placing bouquet on the passenger seat as I drove off to the hospital. I walked towards her room before I stopped in front of the doors.

I heard soft laughter and talking from a man, that didn't sound like Carlos'. I shook it off knocking and opening the door slightly. As I looked inside I saw young man, around my age sitting on her bed dressed in white. I assumed, he is one of the doctors.

He eyed me up and down before turning back to her. Her eyes were focused on me. Not him, not bouquet, but me. She had pain in her eyes and I already hated being here, but I have to be at her side. I promised that long time ago.

Jenna's POV

Charles was at the door. With big bouquet with white roses, but they didn't get my attention. He did. I know he tried to hide his shame, I knew by the look. And he looked so tired, like he barely slept last night. His face gave him away, and I knew how to read people and their emotions very well as I've came across many of them and learned on them.

I looked back at Anthony, he was one of the doctors who were sent to check up on me. And he got here just when Carlos brought me food. He wasn't here at the time and I knew he yelled at him. He did say that they talked but I knew there was shouting involved.

"Can you leave us alone, please?" – He placed his hand on my thigh and smiled. "I'll come later to check again." – He walked to the door and I saw the look he gave to Charles. I didn't tell him anything about what happened. He just knows I had miscarriage. He wasn't here on the shift last night either.

Charles looked at his feet taking deep breath before walking towards me and handing me the bouquet. "I want to apologize, Jen. I shouldn't have done any of those things last night. I feel ashamed of my actions and I take responsibility of everything. It was my fault, and I am sorry that I blamed you and made you feel awful. The worst things is that I left you to cope with the pain alone. It just hurts me to see you putting yourself through pain you never deserved. You deserve only the best, and if you think that, the best things won't come to you if I am close then I understand. If you want me to go, I will. If you want me here, I'll stay for as long as you want me to." – He finished as his eyes sparkled up under bright lights of the hospital room.

His nose went red a bit, I noticed it every time when he was upset or angry at something. And I can tell he really feels sorry. "Charles, they tied me to bet after I tried to kill myself because of you." – My voice broke as felt pressure in my throat from holding back the tears that threatened to spill any moment.

"I am so fucking sorry. You have no idea how guilty I feel." – He said in whisper as he placed bouquet on the covers over my body. I didn't break eye contact with him at any second. "But Charles, I need you in my life. It hurts not to have you beside me. The worst thing is that after all, I am still madly in love with you." – Tear rolled down my cheek as he brought up his arm and wiped it away from my face.

"I will never bring you the happiness you truly deserve. I will try my best to give you piece of it. I will give my life just so you don't let another tear down because of me. I will do anything you want. I am putting you in the first place. Now it depends on you, whatever you say, whatever you wish for. I will do it." – He said and took deep breath preparing himself for the answer I am about to tell him.

Our future depends on me.

"Charles, how can I ask you to leave when I can't imagine my life without you." – Another tear fell down my face but my emotions quickly when the other way the second he kissed my lips. The feeling I desperately needed right now. The comfort, and the butterflies it gave me were the feeling I needed in this moment of misery.

We parted our lips and I smiled at him as he was on his knees, holding my face in his hands. "Come here." – I whispered and he laid in the bed beside me, as I buried my face in his neck. His hand wrapped around me as he drew small circles on my shoulder.