"For your information, I actually do care a lot you idiot ..."
"Can you spot how many fucks I give?"
"We were never meant to be together..."
"After everything I did for you, this how you repay me?...."
I wake up in the middle of the night cold as fuck, the tv is still on so I look up and see Marcus is still awake.
"Why are you still awake? You need to sleep Marcus, I can see the bags under your eyes."
"I just can't sleep."
I get up, put on my bunny slippers and give him a melatonin gummy.
"Thanks." He smiles showing me his adorable dimples.
I get back in bed and wrap my arms around him, he rests his head on my chest then within 10 minutes he knocks out. One thing about Marcus is that every time we sleep he keeps a strong grip around me to make sure Im still there when he wakes up.
Marcus has a fear that one day everything and everyone he loves will disappear. I don't blame him, he's been through a whole bunch of shit that can never be forgotten. Im a person who uses physical touch as my love language and he knows that. That's one of the reasons why we don't really use pet names, besides we both made it clear that it makes us uncomfortable.
My eyes start to flutter open and kiss Marcus's forehead, I start to play with his hair causing him to wake up with a smile on his face.
"Someone had a good sleep." I laugh.
"Hell yeah, it was fucking amazing. I feel like I haven't slept in forever."
"And why is that? Cmon let me inside of that beautiful mind of yours." I point to his forehead.
"I don't exactly know how to explain it, I feel like I'm starting to develop sleep paralysis. It's like I'm afraid to sleep sometimes."
"But are you okay? Let me ask you something Marcus, have ever been to therapist?"
He gets rests his two hand together and places his chin on it while still laying on top of me.
"No, I know it's shocking. You'd think that after everything I've gone through I would be in therapy. It's funny cause your the first person that has ever asked me that and I've never really thought about it before."
"Do you want to go? It's completely up to you, it has helped me with some things but it's totally your decision."
"Maybe, I'll think about it. I feel like you the only one who actually asked me if I was okay, I haven't had somebody asked me that in years."
"That's because I love you and I care about you, from experience just asking someone how they're doing could save their life. I will never give up on you, okay?"
"Okay." He laughs and gives me a long kiss.
I wrap my arms around his neck and he turns me over, he starts to move down my neck and I see the time.
"As much as I want to keep going we have to get out of here and have breakfast. Trust me we will continue this later but we have a long day ahead of us and you know damn well I'm not a pleasant person when I'm on a empty stomach."
"Fine with me." He picks me bridal style and spins me around, we just start laughing our asses off.
He puts on a shirt and I put on my slippers and we head downstairs. The chef is making chocolate pancakes and is cutting up some strawberries and raspberries along with a serving of whipped cream and fresh orange juice.
(Authors note: which do you guys prefer, orange juice or apple juice?)
Once we're done, we both go up stairs to change for the races. I absolutely hate the summer, I tan too easily it's horrible.
Esmerelda's outfit
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