Temptation

Chapter 24 ~ memory lane

I take Marcus to my room and clean his wounds. For the most part we're both silent, until he decides to decides to open his big mouth.

"I remember the first time this happened. You were cleaning me up-"

"What? Do you expect me to fucking kiss you? Cause trust me that ain't gonna happen."

"I know that."

I step away to throw the bloody gauze in the trash can.

"Just because I'm doing this for you doesn't mean we're on good terms."

He puts his hand on my wrist and looks me in my eyes.

"Just know I never meant to hurt you on purpose, I don't know what was going on with me."

"Don't you understand? I don't believe you. All the yelling and kissing and fighting, we never could see eye to eye. Cause you might see like a man but you're not one in your mind. but I couldn't understand ya if I tried. I don't speak boyshit."

"Wow, I may had created a shit ton of mistakes but at least I owned up to it. I was there for you in your darkest times, I was their for you in your darkest night. But I'm wonder, where were you? When I was on my worst down in my knees."

"So now your pulling this bullshit on me? You don't know how to talk or communicate. We're so on and off to you it's a game, if you don't level up I'm gonna leave you in the dust man. It's not my fault you can't say shit to me, matter a fact you never did. Do you have any idea what you caused me to do?"

"I tired to commit suicide, I finally have opened up to someone that I actually had feelings for but I guess all good things had to come to an end. You don't know the shit I had to go through these past few weeks! I got sent to a fucking psych ward! They think I'm fucking crazy!"

I lift up my shirt to reveal the scars in my body.

"You see this shit, they did this to me! They called me "Harley fucking Quinn"! I don't blame them, they're right. I'm just as crazy as her but I didn't fall for a crazy ass man, I'd watch your back if I were you Marcus."

I walk up to him and get into his face, I put my hand on his face to tease him a little bit.

"your playing with fire, you will get burned. Now get your scrawny little ass out my room."

"It's people like you I fucking hate." He says with anger in his voice.

"fuck you esmeralda."

"Welcome to the club bitch!"

I hold up my two middle fingers and I hear the door slam. Whatever, he can go kiss Maria's ass. I don't need him, I don't need fucking anyone...... but deep down i still want him. I know exactly what to do.

I get up and go find Lex, after a while searching the school see him on the roof, smoking.

"Mind if I join ya?"

"Not at all, how are you? Especially after the whole Marcus situation?"

He gives me the cigarette and I place it to my lips.

"I didn't come here to talk about Marcus."

"I know I'm just saying-"

"It doesn't matter, he has Maria and I'm still the bad guy. The bitch that always run is everything in her path. Sound familiar?"

"Nope, you know Marcus does really love you. I shouldn't be telling you this but maybe this will help. After when we got back here, he was putting the photos that you two took and put it in your book and he was a complete mess for the days you were gone."

"It doesn't matter, I'll get over it at one point, if feelings could fade so can the pain. Besides I think he likes to see the pain in my eyes, but guess what? I like the pain."

"Okay you fucking masochist relax."

I giggle and give him back the cigarette.

"Thanks again."

"No problem mate, don't tell Marcus what I said. He will kill me."

"I won't, we're not exactly on speaking terms but it's the thought that counts."

I leave then head to my room to finish a few assignments. I start to chew on my pencil and grab my diary, I start to write about my time in the fucking psych ward.

They did a lot of shit to me which was traumatizing, they loved to abuse us. The reason why I never said anything until now was because I was afraid no one was able to believe me, they would just think I'm making things up. The scars in my body were not made by me but from my "doctors".

No one understands what really goes on in there, I cover up my wounds up with up and my whole stomach is covered in wounds and has a whole bunch of bandages on it. I no longer wear crop tops or shorts, no even skirts, I just wear pants now and regular shirts.

I plan on getting more tattoos to cover them up once they are healed. Just the thought of my scars brings me to tears, makeup is another way I cover them up.

I really need to go out more myself, I need to party or something. I'll treat myself to shopping tomorrow, the last time I went shopping..... was for Marcus's birthday. Fuck, get him out of your fucking head girl.
Ughhh why can't I just move on?

I go to sleep, hopefully I won't wake up tomorrow.