Temptation

Chpater 68 - cry baby

"Wait I have to take a test first, we don't know if I'm pregnant." I grab my hoodie because it's cold outside and I grab my car keys.

"There's no way you're driving after you just popped a pill, that will soon kick in at any moment and you're in a state of shock right now, I'll drive."

"Wait what about your parents?" He laughs and opens up the door to lead me to the garage.

"I was going to tell you that my father canceled, something came up." As we're heading out I can see Billy walking with Marcus, I try to keep my head down so I don't make eye contact.

Xavier drives off with me in the passenger seat, while I stare out the window surrounded by my thoughts. We finally make it to the gas station and I pay for the pregnancy Test then go take the test in the disgusting bathroom. That's when the Xanax hits me, I wash my hands and stick the test in my pocket, then head back to his car.

I sit back and look straight ahead, he looks at me strangely. I somehow manage to lean my head on my knees, I laugh and finally break the silence.

"Sorry, I'm getting your seat dirty with my shoes."

"I couldn't care less about a damn seat Esmerelda, I can't imagine what your going through right now."

"I never imagined myself having kids. When I was fourteen I always wondered why I didn't get my period yet, I just thought I was a late bloomer but turns out I wasn't. Then I took it upon myself to go to my family doctor and I was told that I couldn't have kids, it didn't matter to me at all because I wouldn't have to deal with the shitty symptoms of having one. Now it's time to figure out if I really did beat the odds."

I take a deep breath and take the test from my pocket then take a good look at it, The test falls from my hands and just like that tears are falling down my face.

"Oh my god, I'm pregnant." I cover my mouth in complete disbelief.

"What the hell am I supposed to do? How am I supposed to tell Marcus this? It's his child-"

"Hey, first let's think about what you want to do, Don't think about your family, Marcus, or anyone else."

"I can't do this, I'm not mentally or physically prepared, I'm only eighteen. I'm not ready, I still have to talk to Marcus about this whether I like it or not, I can't believe I'm saying this but I'm scared."

"It's okay to be, I know that whatever you decide Marcus will support that. I'm not going to get in the middle of the two of you, I'll find some other way to get inheritance-" he reassures me.

"One thing I do is keep my promises, Xavier, I know how bad you want to get away, besides I'm starting to realize that I'm not ready to have a kid. God, I'm a kid myself, I have to talk to Marcus about this first."

"You don't have to decide right now, you are in shock and on meds, Take your time, go and talk to Marcus about this."

"Alright, shit the pregnancy hormones are starting to get to me." I wipe my eyes and then we head back to school, It's around 9 pm right now, hopefully, he's not asleep.

I knock on his door and I see his eyes open wide in shock, my eyes are red from crying and my voice is a bit raspy.

"Can we talk?" He nods his head and invites me into his room, My anxiety levels go up and I can't believe I'm going to say these words to him.

"I wanna say I'm sorry for what happened two days ago, it was a shitty thing what Viktor did to you and I shouldn't have laughed. I also want to apologize for punching you, I was out of line."

"If anything I need to apologize I shouldn't have taken out my anger on you and suggested to Billy and Lex to prank you. It was immature of me and an asshole move, I'm sorry."

"There's no more thing, and I'm warning you please don't lose your shit, I know it's a lot to take in."

"What's up? You're starting to scare me." I start to bite my bottom lip and take out the rest of my pocket the hand it to him.

"Is this yours?" He looks at me and I nod my head, There go the waterworks, crying again, Esmerelda keep it together.

"I can't believe you are pregnant, I thought you couldn't get pregnant, Wait is it mine?" I nod my head in response, he pulls me in for a hug and kisses my forehead.

"What are we going to do about this? I want you to know that I will support you in any decision you make because I love and care about you. If you do want to keep it, I'll be there for you and I will be so happy to have a kid with you. If you decided not to keep it I won't be mad or anything because I respect your decision and all I want for you is to be happy." He places his hand on my cheek and places a kiss on my lips.

"If I'm being honest, I can't do this, my livelihood is extremely complicated, and I'm not in a good place right now to have a child. I can't put it through the same thing I went through, I'm not sure I would even be a good parent, I have bipolar depression for god's sake. Having a kid would only tear me apart and I'm afraid that I will take you guys down with me."

"I know you are terrified about what's going on but I swear you will not go through this alone. I get your scared of what happened in the past, I don't blame you it's a scary place out here but trust me we'll get through it if you decide to keep it."

"One thing is, if I decide to terminate this pregnancy I don't think I'm going to get another chance."

"Esmerelda we're eighteen we don't have to decide our life right now, if you don't ever get pregnant again I'm fine with that. All I know is that I want to have a future with you, with or without a kid, nothing is going to change my feelings for you." He kisses my head and I wipe a tear from his cheek with my hand.

"Not only can't I physically handle my body changing but my uncle will kill me then you. I really can't go through this, I'm going to make an appointment for an abortion tomorrow."

"Another thing, what the hell happened to your neck? Holy shit, did Xavier give you a hickey? That looks pretty bad."

"No, it's not a hickey, I burned myself with a curling iron." His eyes then go to my hand wrapped up in a bandage.

"For someone who could dislocate my arm with one hand you sure are clumsy." He jokes around.

"And I still can, I was extremely tired and I guess it fell out of my hand, burned my neck and hand," I say in a sarcastic tone.

He pulls me by my hoodie and starts to kiss me, They are light but sweet, and it's comforting. Something tells me that he truly wants me to have this kid but he doesn't want to force me into anything. I've never had a situation like this before, so I don't know how to feel.

All I know is that I'm terrified about my future which has never happened to me before, I had my whole life figured out, and now I don't know what I'm doing. I'm hoping that in the end it's worth it and not going to tear me apart.

My mom had me when she was eighteen, which is a coincidence. She wanted nothing to do with the mafia but it's not like she had a choice, she was born into it. My dad had connections and that's how they met, at the annual ball.

After their death, I was supposed to go to my uncle but in that situation I was in, I ran away. I was declared missing for a year and a half until police found me but under an alias because they couldn't know who I was. They were paid off by my family, To them I was Stella Santiago. My middle name and another last name that sounded close to santos. No kid deserves to go through that shit, it fucks with your head real good.