Not So Perfect [Avatar The Way Of Water]

17

Neteyam's pov:

It was early in the morning, yet I had not closed my eyes all night. I found myself wanting to apologize to Miyara last night but when I walked up to her brother's pod, which is right next to ours, I could hear them talk.. They were talking about me, about how kissing me was a bad choice on her part. But I also heard that she seemed conflicted about what she wants, or should I say who she wants. I have to admit when I heard that I felt happy, because that meant that I did in fact have a chance with her. I almost followed her to the spirit tree. Almost. But I didn't want to be that guy and even if I was curious about what Eywa might show her of her path I didn't want to invade her privacy. So I returned to my own pod and tried to get some sleep, but the sleep never found me. I stared ahead as I could hear Lo'ak loudly snore from the other room and Kiri complaining about it to herself but even she managed to fall asleep not much later. I replayed the kiss I shared with Miyara in my head, the way she held me on our Ikran ride and the way she danced with me on Aonung's birthday party. This girl had a hold on me, her beauty was captivating but besides that she had a wonderful personality and a loving spirit. I loved the way she would always invite Tuk whenever she would watch Zuaia for her brother, even if it was for only an hour. Miyara always made sure my little sister was included and actually managed to get some of the kids around Tuk's age to befriend her, and now Tuk wasn't so clingy to me anymore. Not that I minded that she was because she is my sister and I love her but I was glad that with the help of Miyara she managed to make some friends here. Now she wouldn't feel so lonely. She had two good friends, a girl named Pxiio and a boy named Kinewì and I was thankful that Miyara managed to help her get those friends.
I could see the sun begin to rise when a certain shouting erupted from the pod next to ours, causing me to sit upright and locate where it came from; Mo'iki's pod. The shout was distant but this early in the morning it was easily heard. I walked into the living room when I saw Miyara run past our pod with a worried expression on her face.
I knew my mother and Mo'iki had become friends since we arrived here and so I decided to wake my parents up, because something was probably wrong with Avaroa.
"Mom, dad! Wake up!" I said as I shook my mother's shoulder, "something's going on in Mo'iki's pod."
"Netty," my mother groaned as she sat upright and looked me in my eyes, "what is it?"
"I think it's Avaroa," I said and my mother's eyes widened as she had to wake my dad up, who for some reason could sleep deeper than the rest of us despite his military training.
"MaJake!" My mother hissed and with a loud groan he opened his eyes looking at the both of us with a confused look on his face.
"Who the fuck shouts this early in the morning?" Lo'ak groaned from the living room.
"You can't say fuck," Tuk told Lo'ak.
"I can fucking say whatever the fuck I want," Lo'ak grunted since he wasn't that much of a morning person, especially this early.
"I don't think this is good," Kiri said as my parents and I walked into the living room where my other siblings were. Kiri pointed at Ronal running past our pod, followed by Tsireya with her mother's Tsahik supplies and ending with Miyara following after the two. I was surprised I didn't see Aonung follow after his girlfriend to comfort her with whatever was going on because by the look of Miyara's face she was in all different states of distress.
"I think the baby's coming," my mother said softly as she looked at my father, "I'll see what I can do, you should stay here."
And with that my mother walked out of our pod to see if she could help Ronal with Avaroa, I was about to follow after her when my father grabbed my arm and pulled me back. I frowned not understanding why he'd stop me.
"I understand you'd want to be there for her, son," he said softly, "but there are too many people in there as it is."
"But she needs me," I said with gritted teeth and my father shook his head.
"Not now," he said stern, "you stay here."
"Yes, sir," I grunted as I sat down on and folded my arms, hearing the shouts of Avaroa get louder and louder. Miyara was there for me when Kiri was unconscious not that long ago and now I couldn't go to her. Avaroa was screaming in pain, praying to Eywa to make it stop. Her shrieks were excruciating to listen to, but that was all that this side of the village heard.
The hours passed, my mother hadn't returned and the shouts never ended and I could only imagine what kind of pain Miyara was feeling right now. But I knew she must feel powerless and there was nothing I could do for her, only angering me to my very core. I had refused to eat all day but my father forced me to, he watched me swallow my food to make sure I had eaten and then he'd return to comforting Kiri and Tuk who were both upset from the pain Avaroa was in.
Then suddenly the shouting stopped. But a new amount of fear crushed my heart when Avaroa's shouts stopped, not much later I saw Eyive, Miyara's father, and Keoima, Miyara's mother, walk past our pod. Eyive seemed outraged for some reason as Keoima tried to calm him down, but that only confused me.
It was quiet for a long time, a very long time as I shared a worried look with my father, we could only guess what was happening.
That's when the screams of Zuaia began, I never knew the screams of a little girl could sound so agonizing.
"That's getting out of hand," I heard my father whisper as he catched a glimpse of what was going on, he got up and made his way over to Mo'iki's pod right away. Taking a deep breath I ran after my father, but halted once I saw what was happening.
Mo'iki was attacking Eyive, father and son were at each others throaths, Keoima was trying to break them up but Mo'iki kept on shouting how he was going to kill him.
My mother ran out of the pod with Zuaia in her arms, the little girl crying and screaming as my mother covered her eyes with her hand. I looked at my mother with a questioning look on my face.
"She didn't make it," my mother whispered softly, "Avaroa's passed away."
My jaw dropped and my eyes widened when she spoke those words as I felt a heaviness on my heart, she was only twentyone years old. Still so young. As all kinds of thoughts raced through my head my eyes landed on Miyara, who stumbled out of the pod, staring at her bloodied hands. Her breathing unsteady and fast as she didn't blink once looking at her shaking hands that were covered in the blood of her sister-in-law. She was having a panic attack.
Without hesitation I ran over to her, placed my hands on her shoulders and crouched down to look into her eyes.
"Miya," I whispered as she looked up from her hands to me, her eyes wide open and filled with nothing but fear, "Miyara."
"I-I- I can't br-breathe," she stuttered looking at me.
"You have to breath slowly," I said softly, "breathe in slowly."
"I.. I-I can't," she said her breathing only getting worse as her skin was getting paler, she'd faint if she continued this. I groaned as I knew what to do but I also knew she wouldn't be happy if I did. Yet my father had told me what could stop a panic attack, one she was having right now. I had to try.
"I can help you," I said as I placed my right hand on her cheek, "but you won't like it."
And with that I smashed my lips into hers, she was shocked when I did so and had it not been under certain circumstances I would've enjoyed this but not now. Her breathing became steady once more and once she stopped shaking I broke away, I saw she had her eyes closed as I slowly pulled back. She opened her eyes and looked at me with a shocked and confused look on her face.
"Why did you do that?" She asked me.
"Kissing someone who has a panic attack can calm that person down and make them snap back to reality," I explained softly, "the panic develops up here," I said, gently ticking my index finger on the side of her head, "your mind gets overwhelmed by fear and kissing calms the mind back down again, because it makes you focus on the kiss and not your fear."
What I left out was that it mostly worked with people that you felt close to but I didn't think it'd matter now. She nodded as she slowly calmed down. Miyara broke down in tears as she wrapped her arms around my back and hugged my chest tightly, I wrapped my arms around her, placed my right hand on the back of her head and rested my chin on the top of her head as she sobbed loudly into my chest. I catched a quick glimpse of Avaroa in the pod. Her belly was cut open and her lifeless eyes were staring into the abyss, gone forever. Blood everywhere. I don't think anyone besides Lo'ak and Kiri saw me kiss Miyara in order to calm her down but they remained silent as she continued to cry, not knowing how to comfort her. My mother had taken Zuaia with her so she wouldn't see how her mother looked. Ronal was attending to the baby, who seemed healthy and was crying as Tsireya, who was also crying and in full distress watched her mother work, it was clear that instead of Tsireya helping Ronal with the delivery of Avaroa's baby it was Miayara who had done the work since Tsireya didn't have a single drop of blood on her. Ronal managed to stay calm in this awful situation, something I admired about her. My father had managed to break Mo'iki and Eyive apart and tried to stop them from continuing as Keoima was shouting at the both of them, not that her angry shouts would help anyone.
"Lo'ak, go get Tonowari!" My father shouted and without hesitation Lo'ak ran for it to get Tonowari, "Neteyam, get her cleaned up."
I nodded as I still held onto Miyara, who held onto me tightly probably not even realising that she was smearing blood all over my back, but it didn't matter. I had to make sure she was allright.
"Come, Miya," I whispered, "let's get you cleaned up."
She nodded as she continued to hold onto me as we began to walk to the beaches so I could sit her down in the water, her arms still wrapped around me as I had an arm wrapped around her shoulder.
I gently sat her down in the ocean as she stared at the water with a numb look on her face, her eyes tired and puffy from all the crying. I sighed as I took her hands and started to wash the blood off them.
"That baby did not deserve to be brought into our world like that," she said suddenly causing me to look up from her hands, "it was a choice between saving the baby or both mother and baby dying, Mo'iki couldn't choose, he was paralyzed but Avaroa shouted at Ronal to get the baby out.. to save her child and so she did. I don't know why but after Ronal got the baby out I tried to stop the bleeding, like it would save Avaroa. Avaroa got to see her baby though, before she bled out. She.. she died with a smile on her face. Your mother tried to drag Zuaia out so she wouldn't see, but it was too late when my father showed up and showed no remorse.. he.. he began to insult her, a dead woman. Mo'iki lashed out and as I was trying to help your mother with Zuaia I saw my hands, I saw her blood on my hands and this.. this overwhelming feeling came over me and I couldn't breathe.. I couldn't do anything.. I felt so helpless."
"It's only natural, Miya," I responded as I continued to clean her hands, "you couldn't have prevented what happened."
"So why do I feel so guilty?" She asked me, tears beginning to form in her eyes once more, "why do I feel like this is my fault?"
"Because someone died, someone very close to you died," I explained, "but it's not your fault, Miya. Do you hear me? This is not your fault."
"Thank you," she said softly, "ever since I've met you, you've been nothing but kind to me."
"Never thank me," I said licking my lips as I softly squeezed her hands whilst holding them in mine, "I will always be here for you, Miya. But don't ever thank me for it, there's no need for it."
"Still, I don't think anyone could've helped me the way you just did," she said.
"Your boyfriend?" I asked as I rubbed the last of the blood of her hands.
"He's not here, is he?" She scoffed, "you are."
"I am," I said as I turned around and pointed at my back with my thumb, "could you clean my back?"
"Sure," she said softly as she gently rubbed the blood of my back, feeling her small hands move all over my back as she gently splashed small amounts of water on my back. I stared at the sun that was setting, it was almost eclipse. It all started this morning and yet it still felt like it happened slower than it did.
"You're all cleaned up," she said as I turned around to face her. Her eyes fixated on mine as I placed my hand on her cheek and offered her a comforting smile.
"You'll get through this, Miya," I said softly as she placed her own hand over mine, "you'll be okay."
"I know," she whispered softly as she began to lean in to me and looked down at my lips before looking back up to my eyes. I stopped her however, knowing she'd regret it later seeing the circumstances.
"I want to kiss you, Miya," I said softly as I lowered my hand, "but I don't want you to kiss me for the wrong reasons."
"You're right," she said softly, "I'm sorry."
"Don't," I said, our faces still a few inches apart from each other, "there's no need for that. But we should probably go back."
She nodded and I helped her back up to her feet, her pinky finger lingering on my pinky as we walked back like that. When we got back we saw Tonowari with a few others get Avaroa's body out of the pod to prepare for her funeral most likely. My eyes immediatly fell on Aonung who saw the way we were holding each others pinky's but despite him being visibly jealous he still hurried himself to Miyara as he placed his hands on her shoulders and crouched down to her level just like I had done when she had a panic attack.
"Miya, are you okay?" Aonung asked her  worried. He might be a firstclass dick but I had to admit that he did really care for her, Miyara let go of my pinky as she took a deep breath before looking her boyfriend in the eyes. Her ears lowering in anger as something had shifted, all her emotions overwhelming her.
"Where were you?" She asked in a cold and calm tone. So calm it was almost scary.
"I was.." Aonung stuttered, "I was on an early morning hunt with Niokä when it happened and I stayed with him all day when I heard just now."
"How'd you hear if you weren't in the village?" She asked him.
"Kiri came to get me," he said as his ears lowered, "I came right away."
"I needed you," she said with a lump in her throat, not only breaking Aonung's heart with her words but the desperation in her voice broke mine as well, "I needed you and you weren't here."
"I know," Aonung said with a lump in his throat, "I'm sorry.. but I'm here now."
"I have to go," she said as she shook his hands off, "I have to go to my brother."
"Miyara, you're coming home with us," her father said stern but something inside Miyara had shifted towards her father, a new found hatred burned in her eyes. I could tell.
"The only way I'll ever set foot in your household again is when I'm dead," Miyara sneered at her father, "you call your son a disgrace but you've never bothered to look at yourself. You are a disgrace, father. I'll never live with you again."
"You!" Eyive scoffed, lifting a hand up to his daughter making Miyara flinch but without hesitation both Aonung and I stepped protectively infront her, shielding her from her father. This was the first time we agreed on something as we glared at Miyara's father and looked at him with daring looks in our eyes. But even if Aonung and I stood before Miyara to protect her from her father's wrath it didn't seem to scare him, it was Tonowari that grabbed onto his wrist of the arm he had up in to air to hit Miyara with to make him stop.
"If you ever lift a finger at your daughter again you will answer to me," Tonowari told him stern, "leave. Now!"
Eyive scoffed, grabbed the arm of Keoima and left for his own pod, he walked past my father who stood behind Tonowari as both my father and Eyive shared a hateful glare at each other. But my father wisely remained quiet since Tonowari had already done the talking.
Mo'iki walked out of the pod, a numb look on his face as he held his baby in his arms.
"Miya," he said softly, walking past me and Aonung, "this is Re'ylä."
Miyara's eyes softened when she looked at the little baby and for a moment she seemed to forget about her pain as she took the baby from her brother as her brother left to get his other daughter from my pod. I saw the loving way she looked at the baby, like she was the proudest girl in the world. Despite the pain they had to suffer today she still found it in her heart to genuinely adore this baby.
"That's a beautiful name," Aonung said where I was simply focussing on how Miyara was falling in love with the baby, much like I saw my mother look at Tuk when she was just born. Miyara truely adored kids.
"I named her," she said, tears pooling in her eyes. And without second thought I placed my hand on her shoulder catching a quick jealous glare from Aonung, but I didn't care. I could comfort her if I wanted to.
"She's beautiful," I said softly, "just like her mother was."
"All energy is borrowed," Miyara whispered under her breath, "she's born again," she looked up to Aonung, "sorry I got so mad at you, you couldn't have known."
"No, you were right to be mad at me," he said as he went to place his hand on her back and slapped mine away. I frowned as he had already returned to his jealous, cocky self.
Now that I took a closer look at Aonung and Miyara I could tell with full clarity that those two did not belong together. Miyara was all taken by the little baby where Aonung was looking at her and not at the baby anymore. And after our moment in the ocean only ten minutes ago I was gaining hope that Miyara liked me back.