Not So Perfect [Avatar The Way Of Water]

31

Miyara's pov:

My head was throbbing as I opened my eyes, the sunlight blinding me as it made it through a few cracks of the marui pod I was in. I felt like I had awoken from a strange dream, and I was wondering if it was all just a dream.  I placed my hand on my head as I tried to block out the sun, slowly adjusting to the bright light and having a hard time keeping my eyes open as I tried to take in my surroundings.. this wasn't my room, I soon realised. I recognized the dreamcatcher with all kinds of blue seashells dangling from the ceiling above me because I had made that for Aonung's fourteenth birthday. I was in Aonung's bedroom, I pushed myself slightly up with my elbows as I looked around the room. I saw my brother asleep with Re'ylä in his arms and Zuaia leaning against his arms, but besides my brother and his children I didn't see anyone else. Until Aonung walked in with a bowl of water and a cloth, his eyes widening as a smile formed on his lips as he saw me awake.
"You're awake," he said softly and happily as he crouched down besides me and placed the bowl of water besides him, "how are you feeling?"
"Like I got shot," I grunted as I fell back onto my back on his bedmat and instantly regretting letting myself fall back so quickly as my head began to ache even more, a painful grunt escaping my lips as I squeezed my eyes shut and reached for my head once more.
"My mother says you have to do things slowly," Aonung said as he placed the wet cloth on my forehead, a shiver running down my spine as the cold cloth touched my skin, "you still lost a lot of blood before I took you back to my mother."
"So, that really happened? I have to admit that my memory's a bit blurry after I got shot," I groaned as a mischievious smirk appeared on his face.
"Mhm, it happened," he said smug, "you just couldn't shut your pretty lips about how much you love me."
"Ah, well I had to tell you sooner or later," I chuckled as he eyed me curiously.
"But you didn't tell me, you told Neteyam, and Lo'ak, and Rotxo and my sister who now feels betrayed that you never told her about you and Neteyam being something of an item," he grinned and I rolled my eyes, "I had to fill her in on some details of course."
"Oh, my Eywa," I groaned as I wanted to sit upright and slowly pushed myself up, Aonung placing his hand on my good shoulder to gently guide me up, "we were hardly an item.. we kissed two times, the third time was a little more heated and then I almost got raped and left for a month and as soon as we saw each other we both knew that we weren't in love with each other."
"Heated like you and me heated?" Aonung asked me curiously as I peeked over his shoulder to see if my brother and my nieces were still asleep before answering his question.
"No, not like you and me heated," I said as I couldn't fight the smile that appeared on my face remembering the heated moments I've had with Aonung, "those things I've only done with you."
"That's.. nice," he chuckled, the pupils in his light colored eyes dilating as he looked at me, "but.. I still haven't heard you tell me that you want me, darling."
"Aonung," I said and rolled my eyes as he cheekishly smiled at me, pestering for me to tell him.
"Come on, Miya, I want to hear it from your lips," Aonung said as he leaned a little closer to me, knowing exactly how to make me nervous, "tell me you want me."
"I want you," I said softly and rolled my eyes but Aonung simply shook his head no.
"Nah, that's not very convincing, is it?" He grinned as I let an annoyed grunt escape my lips as he teased me, "tell me how much you want me. Tell me what you think, what you see, what you feel."
"I," I sighed as I looked into his eyes and placed my hand on the arm he leaned with on his knee, "I see you, Aonung. Only you."
The grin upon his face vanished as he stared at me with a flabbergasted look upon his face, trying to read the emotions upon my own face, trying to figure out if I was lying. Looking at him made me wonder how I could ever have felt something for another man besides him, I could look at him for an eternity and never grow tired of it ..
I never realised how hard I had fallen for him from the moment I got together with him for the first time, yet I had betrayed him.. more than once and I couldn't understand how he could still love me unconditionally after everything I had done to him, I didn't feel like I deserved it anymore.
"I see you, Miya," Aonung said as a breathy chuckle escaped from his lips, taking my hand into both his hands as he saw me tearing up, "what's wrong, darling?"
"How can you still love me? I.. I betrayed you," I stuttered, tears rolling down my cheeks, "how can you still love me after everything?"
"Because I think you needed to make those mistakes in order to find your own way," Aonung said causing me to frown at the sudden maturity of him, "you could cut my heart out, squeeze it in your hand, show it to me as I lay dying and I'd still love you. My heart's already full of you, it has always been."
My heart leaped in my chest as he admitted to loving me and only me so much that no matter what I did he'd still love me, but still I wanted to make up for it because I didn't want to be that person.. I found myself in the past month and I belonged with him and no one else but him.
"After the trial... when it was revealed that you were innocent.. that you did all that for me, something inside of me shifted," I explained quickly looking over to see my brother still asleep, "it was like all the missing pieces fell together and I realised right there that I loved you so much my heart could burst if I didn't have you near me and I didn't know what to do about that.. I wasn't ready to commit to you again back then, I felt weak and helpless.. I used that month to practice archery, climbing and even spear throwing just because I wanted to feel empowered over myself.. I finally learned to feel free in my own choices and I always thought that you were a feeling that was forced upon me but the longer I stayed away from you the more my heart bursted.. I missed you so much that thinking of you made me cry myself to sleep but I had to heal from what had happened to me before I could.. before I could return... I'm sorry for ever doubting you, I'm sorry that I was the reason you were even in that position with Oimliän and Niokä, I'm sorry for cheating on you, I'm sorry for breaking your heart.. I'm just sorry for all the pain that I've caused you.. You deserve better than that."
"Well after we broke up I did try to fix another girl but that didn't feel right," he chuckled.
"Leykuzi I presume?" I said frowning as I remembered the two walking along the beach after we broke up.
"Yeah, I mean I kissed her and it was awful, then you saw us and you got adorably jealous and well.." Aonung said and grinned, "I soon realised that you're the only one my dick can get hard for, darling."
My eyes widened shocked as I stared over at my brother and nieces before hitting Aonung on his arms, a chuckle escaping from his lips as he grinned at me, enjoying the way I responded to his dirty comment. I didn't blame him for trying with another girl after we broke up, I had no right to blame him and I understood his reasoning.
"Aonung!" I whispered as he crawled over to me with a smirk upon his face, looking down at my lips as he did.
"That's right," he whispered, "say my name."
"We can't-" I began but he gently kissed me, hesitating to for a harder kiss since he didn't know how I would respond to him kissing me, I quickly sunk into the kiss as I moved my hands to his face, cupping it. Butterflies filled my stomach as I had yearned for him for so long, never realising how much I needed him until now. There was still so much we had to talk about, so much for us to discuss but for now I just needed his lips on mine, it felt amazing to feel safe in his embrace again as he gently guided me up on his lap, his hands upon my waist as I ran my hand through the loose hair underneath his bun.
"Oh, Eywa," he said softly in between kisses, "how I've missed you."
"I'm sorry you had to," I whispered back feeling a lot of guilt towards the guy I was desperately in love with, I don't know why I had to go through all of this to realise that Aonung was the one for me and always has been the one for me.
"Stop apoligising," he grinned looking up into my eyes as I could see the mischievious look in those light orbs of his, "I'll punish you for it later, darling." my eyes widening in response as he enjoyed the stunned look upon my face, smirking as he rubbed circles on my waist with his thumbs.
"That's fucking disgusting," my brother suddenly spoke, causing me to yelp as I jumped off Aonung's lap and bumped my shoulder against the woven wall behind me, groaning in pain for a second, "there are children in present."
"Great, you're up," Aonung rolled his eyes looking at my brother, "perhaps you can leave so we can-"
"Stop it," I said as a smirk formed on his lips, looking at me before holding his hands up in defeat.
"Yeah, he's never spending a night in our home," my brother spoke as he looked from Aonung to me, "how are you feeling, Miya?"
"Pretty good, despite the fact I got shot, but what can you do about it huh," I shrugged as my brother shot me an unamused look.
"Not get shot?" He said and I snorted at his comment, "what were you even doing on that boat?"
"Saving my friends and their... sky person," I said not really feeling the need to tell my brother about the vision I had of Neteyam dying from a bullet.
"You risked your life to save their pet?" Aonung asked me in disbelief and I shot him an annoyed glance.
"He's not their pet," I said, "he's their friend.. he's very important to Kiri."
"And Rotxo will be so happy that you decided to risk your life for another man that's in love with Kiri," Aonung said rolling his eyes at me.
"What do you mean 'another'?" I asked Aonung and he simply smirked at me.
"I'll tell you later," he sighed and got back up to his feet, "we have a lot to talk about, but for now I'll get my mother to check up on you."
"Okay, thank you," I said as he offered me a soft smile before vanishing behind the curtain in the entrance of his room. My eyes landed on my brother who curiously eyed me.
"So, I heard he's still going to be my brother-in-law," Mo'iki grinned and I rolled my eyes.
"I know you don't approve," I said but my brother quickly interrupted me.
"Who said that? I always thought he was a dick until the trial, I admit that," Mo'iki said softly, "but I just want you to be happy... the only reason I told you to explore your feelings were not to drive you to Neteyam, I said it so you could figure out what it was that you desired.. turned out it was bunnyboy."
"Bunnyboy?" I asked quirking a brow at my older brother as his two children were still deep asleep.
"He always wears a bun," Mo'iki grinned before changing the topic, "by the way our father lost his arm in battle."
"Oh," I said flat out, "can't say that I care.. perhaps we should go over and ask him what he was thinking of doing at a battlefield, he must know better than that.." I said rethinking of what my father told me at the trial, about how it was my fault I nearly got raped.
"I already did," Mo'iki chuckled, "then I heard you got shot and so I came here, Neytiri wanted to take the girls but Zuaia insisted that they would see their aunt.. she's stubborn, like her mother."
"Avaroa wasn't stubborn," I scoffed as I saw my brother's ears shamefully lower, "you've always been stubborn."
"And you are so easy-going of course," my brother chuckled sarcastically.
"Mo'iki, am I a terrible person?" I asked my brother as his eyes widened.
"Why would you ask that?" He asked me confused.
"Because of the whole Neteyam and Aonung thing," I sighed as I ran my hand through my unbraided hair, "I kissed Neteyam while I was still with Aonung... I feel awful."
"Good, it means you know that what you did was wrong," Mo'iki said bluntly, "I don't think you're a terrible person, I think you were confused and conflicted.. the fact that our parents made you live like a prisoner didn't help either.. you really allowed yourself to explore when you started to live with me.. you've always been told that you're perfect for following dad's orders but, Mi, you're not so perfect.. just talk to Aonung about it and figure out on where to go from now.. you are sure about choosing Aonung, right?"
"I am," I chuckled, "he.. he has a place in my heart that no one else can ever have."
"There you have it," Mo'iki said as Zuaia was slowly awakening, "that's love, sister.."
I smiled warmly at my brother as I saw Zuaia's eyes shot open, she looked around the room and realised that she wasn't in her own pod and then her eyes landed on me and a big smile appeared on her face.
"Aunt Miya!" She said excited as she ran over to my side ans jumped on me, the pain that followed from my shoulder moved throughout my entire body as I grunted in pain. Zuaia's eyes shot open as she realised she was too excited with me which resulted in hurting me.
"Zua, be careful!" Mo'iki said raising his voice at his eldest daughter and awakening his baby daughter because of that.
"I'm sorry," she said, her ears lowering.
"It's okay," I said as I pulled the girl on my lap, "have you been here for me all night?"
"Yes, I wanted to be there when you woke up," Zuaia said as she rested her head on my good shoulder, "but I fell asleep, I tried to stay awake! I really did!"
"How sweet of you," I said placing a kiss on top of her head, "but you didn't have to stay awake for me, you need your rest too, sweetie."
"I know but I was worried about you," Zuaia said as she tried to rub the sleep out of her eyes, "I thought you were going to die."
"No way, I'm not done with being your favorite aunt just yet," I said as I pecked kisses on her cheek, loud giggles escaping from the little girl.
"You're my only aunt," she giggled and I gasped as I pretended to be shocked.
"I am?" I asked as she nodded, "well then how can I leave you alone? I could never leave my sweet, little Zuaia behind."
Zuaia giggled as I continued to place kisses on her cheek before Ronal and Aonung walked in, Aonung fixated on how I was placing tiny kisses on my niece's cheek and how she laughed because of it as Aonung had this soft look in his eyes.
"It's Bunnyboy!" Zuaia said when she saw Aonung who frowned, I shot a look at my brother who simply started to whistle like he knew nothing, purposely not looking back at me.
"Who taught you that word, Zuaia?" I asked my niece as my gaze remained on my brother, who was sushing his baby.
"Daddy did!" She said, "he calls your boyfriend Bunnyboy all the time!"
"He does?" I asked as I heard a soft chuckle escape from Ronal's lips, looking at her son before crouching down besides me.
"Come, Zua, let your aunt be checked up by the Tsahik," Mo'iki said as he got bis daughter from my lap and quickly left before Ronal and Aonung could even say anything about it.
"Bunnyboy?" Aonung asked in disbelief, "bUnnYbOY?!"
Ronal chuckled as Aonung just stared at me waiting for me to explain but I remained silent as a smile appeared on my face, Aonung placed his hand on his bun and frowned.
"It's healing well," Ronal said as she looked at my wound, "I luckily didn't have to dig the bullet out, it went straight through your shoulder.. I'll clean it up for you, but just stay here for two more days so I can see if it won't get infected. Is that okay, dear?"
"Of course, thank you so much, Ronal," I said with a warm smile which she gladly returned before gathering her stuff and walking out of Aonung's room. My eyes landed on Aonung who was squeezing his bun in disbelief.
"Bunnyboy?" He questioned again causing me to burst out in laughter, "it's not funny!"
"Yes, it is," I laughed which made him laugh as he sat down infront of me, crossing his legs and taking my hands in his, "can we continue our conversation now?"
"Yes, we can," he said a d smirked, "I recall having you on my lap, slowly starting to grind against my cock.. is that the conversation we're talking about?"
"No, I mean the conversation in which I was apologising to you," I said trying to remain a straight face but I couldn't fight the smile that appeared instead.
"You grinding against me wasn't an apology?" Aonung quirked a brow and I shook my head no.
"I love you, even if you come with dirty jokes," I laughed as he leaned over and kissed me again, "Aonung, I'm serious we should talk."
"Fine," he grunted and sat down, "explain to me why you took a bullet for Neteyam if you're not in love with him?"
"Because he would've died if I hadn't," I answered and he frowned confused, "after the trial I went to the spirit tree and I saw a vision of Neteyam getting shot and dying.. I could stop it and so I did."
"You could've died for him," Aonung said stern, "I can't lose you, especially not to him.. I've worried about that for too long now."
"You didn't," I said softly, squeezing his hands, "I'm sorry for everything I put you through, I'm sorry for hurting you over and over again.. I'll spend the rest of my life making it up to you if that's what it takes because I love you..
I've dreamed of you all month, you know, it didn't matter if I were awake or asleep, I dreamed of you, of your smile, of your eyes, of your hair, of the way you crouch down to meet my gaze, of the way you smirk when you're about to make a joke, of the way you always find a way to make me nervous.. I just dreamed of everything about you. I'm sorry it took me so long to realise that it has always been you. I can now only ask for your forgiveness,"
"I forgive you," he said staring deeply into my eyes, "I'd already forgiven you before you asked me and I'll forgive you for whatever you could still do to me in the future."
"You won't have to," I said as I slowly leaned in, "because my future is you."
"So, that means you'll be mine again?" He asked me as his lips were mere inches away from mine, he placed his hand on my cheek as he used his other hand to place a strand of my curly hair behind my ear.
"Now and forever," I whispered softly, "I'm yours, Aonung."
He let out a breathy chuckle before smashing his lips into mine, taking a deep breath through his nose as we kissed like it could be our last. At last I figured out what it was that I desired, I should've known it would've been him.