Algebra and irish;) (student/teacher)

Chapter 69

Chapter 69------------------------------------------------------------------------

Alex woke up the next morning alone in her bed. Luke had already left for work leaving her a note saying he had written her a pass for the day on account that she had the 'flu'. She lounged in the bed for a while going over last nights events. She sighed and got up from her bed to make her way over to her small desk with her laptop on it. She powered it up and waited for the page to load. Soon her home page on Facebook popped up. She quickly typed in Lee's name and waited for his page to come up.

'in a relationship with Sara Mills'

Alex ground her teeth and rubbed her free hand over her heart as if she could ease the ache.

She didn't understand the pain in her chest. She wondered if it would always be there. She had read somewhere on the internet that the first time you have sex a chemical releases In a womans body. Apparently it's a bonding chemical that releases three times in a woman's life. The first time she has sex, the first time she breast feeds her child and when she gives birth. Making it to where she will always be connected to that person. The only time it happens to a man? When he bonds with his child.

"of course" Alex said pushing away from her computer. She stood up and shakily ran a hand through her hair.

'I fell out of love with you'

'I don't know where I lost it'

'I don't feel that way for you anymore'

"then why did you keep having sex with me you bastard!" Alex screamed to herself pulling at her hair.

"Alex?" she heard Kate knocking at the door.

Alex crumpled to the floor with her head in her hands.

"go away" alex moaned her voice muffled.

"but Alex-"

"please Kate....please. I just need to be alone for a while"

Awhile later Alex heard the door shut. She was alone In the house. She cried. She cried for her broken relationship with Lee. She cried for herself and her lost innocence. She cries for her broken heart that she knew would never be the same. She cries for all the stuff she had put Luke through and the fact that he deserved better. She cried for her sister and the fact she had rubbed off on her. She cried until her breaths became labored and the tears became involuntary tracks down her face. She clutched her chest and closed her eyes trying to focus on the beat of her heart.

'calm down' she kept telling herself.

She glanced up at her computer still open on Lee's page.

His smiling profile picture seemed to be staring down at her.

"I didn't deserve what you did to me." she whispered.

"no one deserves to feel like they've been used"

Her phone vibrated causing her to jump. She looked at the screen to see Luke's smiling face flashing. She stuffed the phone back under the pillow. She couldn't talk to him right now. He deserved so much better than her. She couldn't give him what he needed. She was broken. She got up from the bedroom floor and made her way into the bathroom. She sat down on the counter staring at the razor on the edge of the bathtub.

Her wrists were burning like they knew what was coming. She closed her eyes and breathed through her nose trying to calm herself. When she opened her eyes again her vision zeroed in on the sharp blade. She silently crossed the bathroom and picked up the blade-----------------