control - Alexia Putellas

44.

The airport was buzzing with activity as Alexia's heart hammered into her chest.

She desperately searched the crowd for any sign of the therapist, but she was nowhere to be found. Panic surged through her veins as she frantically dialed Erin's number on her phone, hoping for a miracle.

The phone rang, her heart pounding with each passing second as she presses the phone against her ear, holding Nala against her chest while wanting nothing more than to hear the blonde's soft, reassuring voice. Nothing more than to say goodbye properly.

Alexia felt tears well up in the pit of her eyes as the call went to voicemail.

And here she was, back in Barcelona, back home, standing there with a sense of emptiness and longing. Glassy, sparkling hazel eyes kept roaming the airport, hoping for a glimpse of the stunningly beautiful blonde, but there was no sign of the woman who had become her sanctuary.

As they made their way to the parking lot, Alexia's thoughts were a whirlwind of emotions.

She knew she had to be strong, that she had to try and stay in control, but inside, she felt like she was falling apart.

The realization that Erin was gone, and that she might not see her again, was overwhelming. Her heart was aching for Erin's touch, her presence, and her words of reassurance.

The two time Ballon D'Or winner made it back to her modern apartment in the suburbs, an affluent area of Barcelona as the sun set over the horizon, casting a golden glow over the city.

She knew it was supposed to feel like home as she shuts the apartment door behind her, two giant suitcases, a duffel bag, and a backpack filling the foyer, but even as Nala excitedly dashes towards her empty yellow food bowl in the kitchen, this place didn't feel like home.

This didn't feel like she had just come home.

Taking a deep breath, Alexia ties her hair up in a messy bun and carries one of the suitcases, as well as the duffel back to her bedroom.

She used to hate unpacking.

But in this moment, she was grateful for the distraction.

And while putting some of her unused clothes back into the closet - since the trip hadn't lasted as long as she'd hoped - Alexia couldn't help but hope that there would be a knock on the door and Erin would just walk through it, telling her she didn't board that plane.

But of course, that didn't happen.

Erin was gone.

It wasn't even two hours and she missed the blonde already.

So damn much.

Over and over again, the captain found herself with tears welling up in her sparkling hazel eyes, the last couple of days and weeks, and especially the last couple of hours, too overwhelming.

While soft music was playing in the background, the sound of the ocean heard through the open window, and while the little ball of fluff was lying on her back on the comfortable bed that had been unused for weeks, limbs extended in all possible directions, Alexia had just started to unpack her second suitcase.

She couldn't help but crack a smile, in tears, as she pulled out a few pieces of clothing, a pair of sweatpants and a shirt she knew belonged to her.

To Erin.

"When did you put those in there, Bonita?", she wonders under her breath, the tiniest, salty tears slowly trickling down her reddened cheeks as she sits down on the edge of the bed with Erin's clothes clutched in her warm, trembling hands.

She couldn't help it. She couldn't help herself.

She couldn't control herself.

With her shoulders hunched up, her throat tight, the light green hoodie she'd prefer to never take off again provided her with warmth, but not as much as Erin's closeness could ever offer.

When had she become so weak?

As her phone finally lit up with a notification, the two-time Ballon D'Or winner hopefully picked it up.

Her heart skipped a beat as she glanced at the screen, only to find it was a news alert about, right now, uninteresting stuff.

With a sorrowful sigh, Alexia plops back down on the comfortable mattress, the phone beside her, while she allows her warm fingers to run through Nala's soft, beige fur.

And as she lay there, the soothing roar of the sea, Nala's purring, and the wonderful sound of the music playing in the background, the captain couldn't shake the feeling that she couldn't keep waiting any longer.

She couldn't keep waiting for Erin to reach out for her.

With determination in her heart, Alexia picks up her phone and dials Erin's number once again, confident that by now, the blonde could've already arrived back home in Manchester.

And just like earlier, the phone rang, her heart pounding with each passing second.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, just as she was about to give up, Erin's soft, reassuring voice came through, "A-Alexia?"

"Si, it's me," Alexia replies as she sits up, trying to keep her voice steady despite the turmoil inside.

There was a brief pause before Erin spoke again, her voice soft and full of emotion, "I'm sorry, Alexia. I didn't mean to disappear like that. It's just... everything happened so fast, and I got caught up in the chaos. I was running late and-"

"Sweetie, we really need to go. The parking ticket is about to expire", another voice suddenly resounded, causing Alexia to hold her breath.

Was that... Ria?

"I'll be right there...", Erin responds to the woman's words, sounding somewhat alarmed, the phone scratching as the connection all of a sudden became weak, so weak that Alexia could barely make out a sound, "You... cr- parking-cr... but st-cr... Ria"

Ria.

At this word, this name, Alexia closes her eyes.

She felt tears welling up in them as she listened to Erin's words, but she knew she couldn't hold on to anger or resentment.

"I miss you", Alexia admits, her voice breaking with vulnerability.

She didn't know what else to say, even though she had so many questions. Even though there was so much she wanted to say.

"I miss you too", was Erin's quiet response, one that caused Alexia's heart to melt, giving her a glimmer of hope that Ria wasn't who she thought she was at that moment. But once again she was stunned when the calm voice continues, "I have to go now... but I'll call you. I promise. Just... trust me"

Hopefully this was not an empty promise.

And hopefully the situation would not get out of control.

THE END