New Beginnings|~| COMPLETED

Chapter 34

A year later
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Y/n's Journal:

For nearly a year I've been writing in this journal to express my emotions. The grief and pain that I experience will never go away. The sadness and anger will never go unnoticed. The last year of my life has been hard losing our son but I have to wake up every morning and see my three kids when there should be four. I have to go day by day hearing my 2 year old ask where his little brother is because they never got to meet him. I go everyday and see the scar where he was taken from my body, I remember the almost two days we had with him, seeing his small, fighting body in that hospital. But in the end, I'm grateful for the family Colby and I have built. I'm grateful for meeting Colby and going through these past six and a half years with him. I'm grateful for our home, marriage, parenting and our furry babies we got to have together. For Riley, my little sister that we adopted a few weeks ago after caring for her. So I'll leave this note here for today... and I'll continue to remember all of the bad and good things I experience in my life.

After I finished writing, I made my way to the bathroom.

I stared at myself in the mirror and lifted my shirt to reveal my scar.

I took a deep breath and then heard immediate crying from down the hall.

"What is it baby?" I asked as I seen Gunnar crying, holding his hand.

"Aw baby, your okay" I said as I lifted him onto my hip.

"Let mommy kiss it all better" I said and kissed his finger.

I walked downstairs and seen Colby with Maddie, Riley and Gunnar.

"What happened? Why was he crying?" Colby asked.

"Not sure, I think he smashed his finger" I said.

Colby kissed mine and then Gunnar's forehead.

"Mm. Well I made breakfast if you wanna eat. If not, I can feed him" he said.

"Yeah I'm not super hungry but I got him unless you wanna take him" I said.

He took Gunnar from my arm and went over to the bar.

"We have that video tomorrow with Sam if your still up to go?" He asked.

"Yeah I remember, I'm excited about it" I said.

Sam, Colby and I were filming tomorrow at the Conjuring house once again.

Ginger would be taking the kids for the night and we would be back the next morning.

"Hey, are you okay with them if I take a drive?" I asked.

Colby looked up and frowned but then it turned to a smile.

"If those have been helping, I'm glad so go ahead" he told me.

Right after we lost Kane, we ended up buying the Impala and either I myself, or both Colby and I would take a drive every so often.

Just escaping reality and taking time to think.

"Are you sure? I mean I can stay-" I started but he cut me off.

"Y/n, take a drive... its okay" he said.

"Okay. I love all of you, buh bye" I said and kissed Ryker, Riley and Maddie and Gunnar's forehead and then kissed Colby's lips.

"Love you" they all yelled.

I smiled and took the Impala keys out.

I inserted them to the car and revved the engine 3 good times, pulling out of the driveway.