Homophobic | purinz

40.

Yunjin's pov

"Yunjin, can we talk?" Chaewon said with an almost shaky voice.

The scenario that put me in despair flashed right in my mind. Those hurtful words that came from her, the words that gave me nightmares, echoed in my ear. I was at the verge of having a panic attack as I recall that hurtful memories when I felt her warm presence beside me.
I look at her, worry, pain and sadness are visible at my eyes which I'm pretty sure she notice because I saw how her breath hitched.

"What do you want?" I asked, trying my best to show that I'm strong.

Chaewon didn't answer, she diverted her eyes away from me and stare at her fidgeting fingers. Silence filled the atmosphere for a few minutes until I decided to break the ice.

"If you're going to say some hurtful words to me again, please stop. I've already heard enough." I said.

"No!" Chaewon's pitch went high which made the both of us surprised. She took a deep breathe first before started talking again.

"I won't say another shit words again." She said in a low and vulnerable voice. I felt my heart soften at the tone of her voice. She really is my weakness.

"Then what do you want to talk about?" I asked calmly.

"I just want to.." Chaewon paused and faced me. I saw fear and regret mirrored in those cheetah-eyes of hers.

"I want to apologize for everything that I've done, for everything that I've said." She added which made me to widen my eyes on her.

"P-Pardon?"

"I know that my hate towards gays started when my mom left but I didn't know that hate of mine will be the key to hurt and lose the person who never left my side.
Kura was right. Not all gays are like my mom. And not all gays are just going to hurt me at the end. You never done something that will hurt me which is I didn't see before because I was blinded with my hatred and anger. I hurt the person who did nothing but to accept me for who I am." Chaewon said. I was just looking at her, listening, I don't even know how to respond.

"I don't know if l'm late but I still wanted to apologize to you Yunjin. You're my best friend, well, used to because I pushed you away which is the thing that I regret the most. If you hate me and can't accept my apology, I understand. I deserve it for being an ass anyway." She said and smile weakly.

Do I really can hate Chaewon? Do I really can hate this lovely cheetah? I know what she said to me was like needles that pierced right into my heart but I somewhat understand the part that she has some battles inside her which she needs to fight alone every day.

1 stare at her for a minute, I can sense sincerity at every words that she said.

"What happened to your homophobic ass?" I unconsciously said which made me shut my mouth quickly and looked away from her. I was ready for another savage answer from her but I heard her giggle instead.

"Let's just say l'm trying to get my homophobic ass out of the picture. It's not getting quite healthy for me, you know." She said. I chuckled a bit before getting quiet once again. My mind is a mess as of now, I can't think straight. What would happened to us if I accept her apology?

"I guess you need some time to think. I should leave." Chaewon said and was about to walk away. But she stopped when she heard me calling her speak.

"I think I can accept your apology."

"Y-you do?"

"Yeah. No one is perfect. Everyone make mistakes, even me. Who am I to not accept that sincere apology of yours?" I said and let out a genuine smile but it quickly faltered when I heard her answer.