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Meredith.

We arrived in Italy a couple of hours ago. We got a suite with two rooms, one for the kids and one for Derek and me.

The twins passed out on the bed when we got here while we unpacked their clothes.

We set up Hopes bassinet and I fed her before putting her down for bed.

"Shouldn't we have bathed the kids first before they fell asleep," Derek says as we get into bed after we just took a shower.

"Probably but they fell asleep as soon as we got here," I say. "Still they've been on a plane for over ten hours, we should have bathed them first," he says.

"We'll give them a bath in the morning, they're wiped out right now and I don't want to wake them just for a bath, then they'll be up all right and that's the last thing we need right now," I say.

"You know, I don't think I'm very tired," he says as he sits against the headboard.

"That's because you slept the last couple of hours on the plane before we landed," I say. Once we landed Derek took the kids and went to the hotel while I took the heart and brought it to the hospital so they could do the surgery as soon as possible.

By the time I got back to the hotel, the kids were already asleep.

"Well then how am I supposed to sleep?" He asks. "Lie down, close your eyes, and clear your head. You should fall asleep in no time. We're not having sex with the kids twenty feet away from us," I say pulling the covers over me and lying down.

"I didn't say anything about sex," he says getting under the covers.

"You were getting there," I say. "You know we haven't had sex in a while," he says.

"That's because we've been on a plane for a while, we can't have sex on a plane with our kids in the same aisle," I say.

"We did last time we were on a plane," he says. "That was before we had kids and I wasn't all mother-y," I say.

"You've always been mother-y. You helped everyone when they were sad, you helped Izzie when Denny died," he says.

"I helped Izzie when she killed Denny," I correct. "Always so dark," he whispers.

"Even when you were pregnant you always helped everyone else, you were there for everyone. That's why I never understood why you were so scared to do it with a child with you could do it with adults," he says.

"Children are a lot more work than adults, with Izzie I just had to get her off the bathroom floor, with kids you have to raise them, feed them, teach them things, teach them how it live, etc, etc," I say.

"Yes, but you still were able to do it. And now you have three kids," he says. "None of which were planned," I say.

"You never were good at planning things," he says. "I was great at planning things, it was just the doing part I had trouble with," I say.

"You planned on moving to new work, You did that, You planned on giving our children a good childhood, you did that," he says.

"That's different, those are things that have to happen, it's not an option. There was no option to not do it," I say.

"Yes, there was. You just refused to take it," he says. "Try getting some sleep, if you don't now you're going to be grumpy tomorrow and I can't deal with three under two and under kids and a grumpy fiancée, so go to sleep please," I say.

"And you're the one calling me grumpy but you won't even talk to me," he says. "It's one in the morning, go to sleep," I say.

"Do you still love me?" He asks. "Yeah, sure. I'll love you more if you go to sleep and take the kids tomorrow while I run a few errands at the hospital," I say.

"Meredith, we're on vacation you're not supposed to be working!" He says. "It's not working, they just needed to ask me a few questions, that's all," I say. "Fine," he sighs.

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