This takes place at the beginning of season 2. After Meredith found out about Derek wife and is trying to move on from him. But something comes up might change her life forever.
Derek and I are sitting at the part while the twins play on the playground.
"So this whole wanting to meet them... do you actually want to do the father part or do you just want to see if they look like you or not?" I ask him.
"the father part, I mean, of course I wondered what the looked like but I still want to do the father part," he says.
"and what if it doesn't go well? what if not what you wanted or expected, what then?" I ask.
"then nothing, I just continue until it gets better,"
"and if it never does?" I ask.
"then it doesn't," he says.
"then what? you leave again? disappear and come back a few years later to see if it's any better when they're five?" I say.
"No, Meredith.. I-"
"You what?"
"I wanted to do it.. the whole father thing but I didn't think it was right for them.. it wasn't fair to them... I was depressed and I didn't think I would be any help to you or them," he says. "I thought it would have just made it things worse and you needed me and I couldn't be there for you so I thought it would be best if I wasn't there at all," he says.
"Why didn't you just tell me?" I ask.
"You had enough going on and you were in pain, I didn't want to make things worse than they already were,"
"You could have called-"
"No, I couldn't," he says.
"you could have called anytime in those two years and you didn't," I say.
"I know," he says.
"Then why didn't you?"
"Because it wouldn't have been any help back then and I'm somewhat better now.. that's why I'm here," He says.
"You know you won't ever have what Nathan has with them right?" I say.
"Yes, I know," he says.
"As long as they have a father who takes care of him, he could do what I couldn't," he says.
"Yes he can," I say.
*****
after the park I drive the twins back to the apartment. I unlock the front door and let them inside.
"How did it go, did you meet him?" Nathan asks the kids.
"Yes!" they both say.
"What did you think? is he mean? do you hate him?" he asks with a smile.
"Nathan," I say as I take off my coat and shoes.
"No, he's nice," Mallory says before walking away to take off her coat and shoes.
"Are you sure?" he asks.
"Yes, I look like real Daddy more than you," Miles says happily before running into his room.
"Did you hear that," Nathan says standing to his feet.
"Both of the kids look a lot like Derek, I told you that before," I say helping Mallory with her coat.
"I look like real Daddy?" Mallory asks.
"yes, you look just like him," I tell her. she smiles.
"Meredith," Nathan says.
"she likes that she finally looks like one of her parents, let her be happy please," I say hanging Mallory's coat on the hook.
"Do you hear that they're calling him?" he asks.
"What did you expect them to call him? Dr. Shepherd?" I say. Mallory puts her arms in the air. I lift her into my arms and place her on my hip.
"I'm their real father, Mer. you hear that Mallory?" he says.
"they know that Nathan, you're fine. Are you hungry Mal?" I ask. she nods laying her head on my shoulder.
"they think he's their real Dad," he says following me as I walk around the kitchen to make the twins something to eat.
"Two daddies," Mallory says.
"See? she knows she has two dads, not one," I say.
"Yeah but they think he's their real one," he says.
"Your their fathers in different way, Derek is biologically their father and you're their actual father because you raised them," I say.
"and now he wants to raise them. they won't even remember when he wasn't here," he says.
"You want them to remember a time when their biological father wasn't in their lives?" I ask.
"Yes,"
"So to you this isn't about the kids? you don't want them to remember when he wasn't in their lives so they'll hate Derek and love you? they'll have plenty have time to hate him when they understand what he did when they're older, you don't have to make them. I'm not doing this for you, or for me, it's for them," I say.
"Now, please.. go away, you're making me nervous," I say. he rolls his eyes and leaves the kitchen.
"Why Daddy no like new Daddy?" Mallory asks.
"They're just not friends honey," I kiss her head.
