The Angelic Soul

A Boy Named Benjamin

TW⚠️ Mention of Abuse and Ed

December 31st 2006

Christmas is supposed to be a jolly time, right? yeah, not in my family.

Christmas for my family is a time for getting drunk, beating each other around and fighting every time there's an opportunity.

I'm 15 years old and i already wish i was dead.

My only friends, dead.

My mother, abusive.

My father, a drunk.

My brother, distant. 

Oh wait, i never mentioned my brother did i? My bad!

Benjamin or Benny, i call him Benny, is a couple years older than me.

His birthday, 18 october 1987.

My birthday, 12 june 1990.

Although we are brother and sister, people mistake us for being twins as we look so alike.

We both have the same honey brown eyes with the same shade of brown, thick hair. Our noses, the same. Eye shape, the same.

etc, you get it.

But Benny stands a lot taller than me, he towers over me at a whooping 6'2 ft. Where's i'm only 5'6ft.

Unfairness, i tell you!

I walk down the stairs of our old fashioned french home, just to hear the shouts of my dad and brother along with the slaps of my mother.

I sit on the stairs, i watch and listen in on the fighting.

"You're really taking his side? You're taking a drunks side?! what the fuck is wrong with you, maman?!" My brother shouts.

He's three years older than me, so he understands more.

He understands more about the abuse and drinking. I don't really get it but at his age i hope i will.

When im his age, i hope i have an amazing boyfriend and other people i can call my best friends.
i doubt it.

I listen more into the fight.

"Because he's my husband!" oh, she's speaking english, she must be pissed off, "of course i'm going to take his side."

"Really?! He crashed MY car while drunk and you're fine with it!"

My mother slaps my brother across the face, "watch your words, young man."

My brother storms out of the kitchen to the stairs.
He sees me and sighs.

He walks up the stairs and sits next to me.

"Holly, how much of that did you hear and see?"

"Not a lot, Benjamin. Why'd you ask?" I say confused.

"don't worry." He sighs and lays his head on my shoulder, "one day, i'm leaving this horrible place."

"and leave me with them?! yeah, i don't think so." I laugh.

"Holly, i'm being serious"

"Ben, what?!" I almost shout.

"Keep your voice down!" He lifts his head from my shoulder, "i can't stay here with a drunk father and abusive mother, i'm sorry i can't."

I cross my arms and sulk, "well you better let me visit, you better not move too far!"
"would you be pissed if i said i wanted to move to America?" He puts his head down in shame.