Husbae😘😜:
Babe come home so we can talk about this....please
Husbae😘😜: Please answer the phone. I love you baby please answer.
Husbae😘😜: I apologize for yesterday and today. Baby, you're an excellent mom, please pick up.
Husbae😘😜: I'm getting worried, baby please don't do this. They don't deserve it. Please baby please
Husbae😘😜: I'm not mad baby I promise, please come home. I love you
Husbae😘😜: I need you. You promised to stay with me forever. I'll do anything, please answer. I love you
Husbae😘😜: I'm sorry. I love you
Husbae😘😜: I love you baby, we can fix this. Please come home.
I feel like my heart is bleeding, I'm hurting. I don't know what to do or how to fix it. I tried my hardest, I really did. I never wanted this life and now this life doesn't want me. My eyes are swollen from crying, I pray my babies don't hate me. I pray my son only remembers the good things about me. I pray my husband does right by them, I hope he knows I love them enough to save them from me and that they will have a happier life without me.
I read all 38 texts messages and listened to all 52 of Devales voicemails asking me to talk to him. I will eventually but I can't right now, all I can do is lay here sitting with my thoughts.
The sun is already up when I finally fall asleep. I slept for 3 hours before room service came interupting my slumber. While they gave me fresh towels I ordered breakfast. It was ok but nothing compared to the breakfast I could be having with my family. I hear Devales voice on a loop in my head saying "I want to spend time ALONE with MY children" I keep going back to the last picture he posted of the kids. "My whole world in one picture" he does not want,need, or love me.
After I shower in going to soak in the hot tub before I go back to my old house. I didn't last night incase Devale is looking for me.
A hour later I've finished breakfast and prayer. I've made the decision to leave the state, I don't want to run into anyone I know. I need a fresh clean break. My phone is ringing, it's my boss. I forgot to call in and quit or tell her I can't make it today.
I shot her a text apologizing, saying I had an emergency come up and would be out the office for a few days.
Just then my baby face popped up calling from his ipad, it was an old picture from when he was 13 months old. My fatty, my son, my bestfriend, oh my heart. I couldn't press ignore.
I quickly answered before I forgot I wasn't suppose to. Whew it's Aden in his toy room, I don't think he is near Devale. Aden calls us off his tablet, he learned how to months ago.
Aden: Hi Mommy
His little voice BROKE.ME.DOWN.
Crystal: Goodmorning papa, what you doing.
Aden: I play, I want mommy. We park mommy?
Crystal: Aden I love you, you my bestfriend ok.
Aden: Daddy Mean? I not Daddy friend?
Crystal: Yes baby you are me and daddy friend.
Aden: You ni-nut friend mommy?
Crystal: Yes baby I Peanut friend.
I got lost in my thoughts, would yesterday at the park be the memory sketched in my sons head as the last day he saw his mommy. Aniyah and I bonded for 8 months but I that bond was broken when I wasn't able to participate in birthing her and that she spent her first month away from me. She will never know me and for that she is better off.
Aden: Here Ni-nut
I hear Devale say "Son she can't play the game on your tablet, come here buddy" his voice sounds raspy and defeated.
Aden: No daddy, Ni-nut talk mommy.
Devale: Mommy not here papa, come here.
Aden: No daddy Mommy talk ni-nut.
I knew Devale was about to figure out I was on the tablet, I wanted silently to see what he was going to do or say. Aden prop the tablet up and I stared at my baby girl, she so perfect and innocent. She doesn't deserve this, the room is very quiet. Aden and Devale are nowhere around. Just me and my daughter, she is swinging and I'm watching.
Again my thoughts drifts about this perfect little baby. The tablet falls as I can see Devale taking her out her swing. He never even looked at the tablet until he did.
He did a double take and just starred at me. We starred at each other both unable to say anything. Confusion, desperation, relief, sorrow, hurt, love ,pain, forgiveness, compassion so much to say, nothing to say. My tears fall as does his.
This feeling is unfamiliar, the same man who I run to with my problems is the man I'm running away from.
Devale picked the tablet up and called for Aden. "Here son, come say goodbye to your mother"
"Bye mommy, I lub you"
I can't say goodbye back.
"I love you baby, I love you so so much ok" Mommy is sor
Mid sentence Devale takes the tablet back and ends the call.
Fuck it, I guess I can't blame him.
I make my way downstairs to the workout room, and hour later I'm soaking in the jacuzzi still trying to control my thoughts. I guess I'll get go get dressed and head out.
When I get back to my room Devale is sitting on my bed. Scared the shit out of me!
Crystal: What are you doing here, how did you know where I was, where are the kids.
"Come here" he says walking towards me as I stand frozen in place. "Come here Crystal" again I don't move. He pulls me towards him and traps me in the tightest hug.
Crystal: Do you hate me?
Devale: I could never hate you, I love you so fucking much. Don't you ever scare me like that again, don't you ever leave me again ok, say ok baby. Say you won't ever leave us, they need you, I need you. We love you baby. Do you believe that. I LOVE YOU!
Crystal: I'm sorry, I thought it was best for them. I'm not a good enough for them or you. Yall deserve better, I'm sorry.
Devale: Stop apologizing, just take your shower get dressed and come on. I already packed your stuff and did a late check out for you. The kids are with Angela for two days while we work this out.
My husband sat on the end of the bed waiting for me to finish my shower. When I was finished he was laying across the bed watching me harsh as if I would bolt out the door.
Crystal: Why are you looking like that, it's weirding me our.
Devale: I can't look at my wife? I was actually trying to remember the last time we made love. It was before you were on bed rest. Can I make love to you?
Crystal: Devale stop, I know you're not attracted to me at this weight but I am trying to get it together. (Sighs and wipes a tear coming) everything about me is disgusting.
Devale: Kiss me
Crystal: No, I don't want to
Devale: Let me kiss you then?
Crystal: Devale stop
Too late I said as I snatched her towel off, I laid my wife on the bed spread her legs and licked in her sweet spot until she soaked my beard. Thank God I did a late checkout because I spent thebnext two hours making love to her like it was our first time, after she cuddled under me and cried until she went to sleep.
Happy Friday folks! Ok something quick but I gave yall want yall wanted now VOTE!
Will they stay together after the talk?
Will Crystal admit she is suffering from postpartum?
Will she ever bond with Aniyah like she does with Aden?
Do yall want a time jump or not yet?
Did yall remember to vote?
VOTE👇🏾
