School Playlist #1: Breakthrough [On-going]

Chapter 11: Pictures

CHAPTER ELEVEN

-Dominic-

SI MOMMY ang sumalubong sa 'kin pagkarating ko sa bahay. Binati niya 'ko at hinalikan sa pisngi kaya napalabi ako. It's not because she greeted me, it's because I'm tired, disgusted, and irritated.

I didn't get tired of school because I did nothing but sleep there. I wasn't going to go to school because it was raining, but Yaya forced me to. But unfortunately, the freaking classes are suspended.

"Kanina pa suspended ang klase niyo, diba? Bakit ngayon ka lang?" Nagtatakang usisa ni Mommy nang sandaling tumalikod ako para umakyat sa taas.

"I just went somewhere, Mom." Mahinahon kong tugon, pero nakakaramdam ako na may mangyayari na namang pagtatalo sa pagitan namin.

"It's almost two hours since your brother called me. What took you so long? Didn't I tell you na umuwi ka agad?"

Oh freaking god. Here she goes again. Napairap ako bago humarap kay Mommy habang laylay ang mga balikat. "I'm not familiar with that reminder. Did you really ask me to do th—"

Hindi na 'ko nakapagsalita pa ulit dahil lumapit siya sa 'kin at inamoy ang uniform ko. Hindi makapaniwala akong napasinghal at napamura pa. "Did you go to a place where you could find and drink alcohols, Dominic?" Seryosong tanong niya na sa 'kin. Pinagkrus niya ang mga braso at pati ang tingin niya ay seryoso na rin.

"So what? 'Di na 'ko bata for hell's sake."

"Anak."

"What?" Mas nadagdagan ang pagkairitang nararamdaman ko dahil tinawag niya na naman akong anak.

Napabuntong-hininga siya. "I'm just worried about you. Ba't ba ganiyan ka sumagot sa 'kin? Hindi naman kita ganiyan pinalaki." Alam kong gusto na niya 'kong pagalitan ngayon dahil sa pagsuway ko sa rule niyang hindi ko natandaan na meron pala at dapat sundin. She's just controlling herself and she needs a praise for that.

"I don't have time for drama, mom. I want to rest. Just let me live at damn peace. Please." Nagpipigil kong saad at tumalikod pero nahila niya 'ko nang gano'n ka-bilis kaya napapikit ako sa inis.

Pinagkrus niya ulit ang mga braso. "I won't tolerate this kind of behaviour, Dominic. Do you think I can resist the way you treat me? You're my son so it's my responsibility to discipline you." Nanatili siyang seryoso pero nanatili akong kalmado.

"If you're really sincere with that, then you should've taken care of me when I was under your husband's hands. But you're just freaking here and doing nothing!" Inis ko nang sagot, hindi na nakapag-pigil.

I'm losing my damn patience when I'm talking nonsense things with her. I'm freaking sick of it and I want to end it as soon as possible, but my heart is freaking weak to the point that it feels like a huge loss even though she's just scolding me. I lost everything before. My love for them, my happiness, and even my damn pride had gone because of them. And it's just unfair that I couldn't help myself from being weak for them. I want to hurt them all for making me this freaking unperfect evil, but it hurts a lot. I'm always the victim of misery instead of them, and I hate it so much.

"Dominic. What's your problem? Ba't sinasagot mo 'ko ng ganiyan? Talaga bang malaking kawalan 'yung hindi ko pagpunta sa London kaya ka ganito sa 'kin ngayon?" Hindi na rin nakapag-pigil si Mommy at nagtaas na rin siya ng boses.

Nagbaba ako ng tingin at pinigilang maging emosyonal. "Don't ask, Mommy. Ayokong nagtatanong ka sa 'kin nang ganiyan dahil nasasawa na 'kong balikan 'yon."

Hanggang ngayon ay maraming umuulit-ulit na boses sa isip ko tungkol sa sarili kong nararamdaman t'wing nakakaramdam ako ng tensyon sa kausap ko.

I'm sick of this. I can't take it. I'm fucking tired of everything. I have lived in misery. I'm trash. They just wished I could've done better than the others. I'm a damn numb with their resentments! Argh! It freaking hurts in my head! Why do I need to suffer like this?! It hurts as bad as fuck.