Heartless (Random Updates)

Chapter 37

She froze trying to reach out for the plate before setting her hands back on the pillow fiddling with her fingers. "Nn...no, um, I just....um," she mumbled under her breath, not able to form a thoughtful excuse for the way she was acting.

"Jennifer," Owen called out with strict dominance. She quickly looked up at him and saw a displeased look on his face. "Answer the question. Are you worried about slipping in front of us? Yes or no answers are fine."

Frozen staring into his gray eyes she felt compelled to tell the truth. "Yes," she murmured.

"Why?" Owen demanded as he squinted his eyes.

"It's...I...um," she fumbled over her words as different thoughts between her past and what they have been trying to reteach collided, confusing her. Her anxiety finally got the best of her, causing her breathing to become elaborate, tears to flow out of her eyes, and a pounding in her head to cloud what her surroundings were.

There was a faint shout that she thought someone said, "Shit." Next, she felt hands pick her up and move her till she was sitting in someone's lap. She could no longer hear her surroundings, just the sound of voices and thoughts in her brain. Telling how she is a failure for a wife, how pathetic she has been acting, and how they are going to resent her.

"Breathe," a deep voice tried to break through the thoughts. "Come on Angelos Mou, take a deep breath for me. You're safe, I have you, just focus on my words. You're safe." She felt her hands being moved to a chest and pinned down so she couldn't move them. "Just feel my chest move and try to copy it, Angelos Mou. Don't focus on anything but my chest."

Tears dropped onto her skin as her body shook and her head pounded. She was making a scene and being utterly ridiculous yet no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't get herself under control. She was becoming a problem and upsetting her husbands. This couldn't happen, she knew better. She had to be a good wife and quit being a disgrace.

"B...b...bad," she hiccupped as her body trembled. "B...b...p...punish...dis–"

"Hush," the deep voice tried to filter through her rambling as warmth cupped her face. "Open your eyes, Angelos Mou. Look at me now." She pressed her fingertips into the chest and forced her blurry eyes to look into dark brown eyes. "Good girl," the gaze held hers as thumbs continued to stroke away the constant stream of her tears. "Just focus on me, only me," the gentle command surrounded her. "I have you, my lovely wife, you're safe, I've got you. Just keep focusing on me."

She moved her hand up to his mouth and a warm hand wrapped around her wrist to help keep her shivering hand against his lips. The other hand held her other hand still on his chest. "N...no–"

"Shhh," she felt his lips move against her fingers, "just copy my breathing Angelos Mou, just breathe with me. I've got you, my wife. You're being such a good girl listening to me. My good girl."

A whimper left her aching throat as she dropped her head, letting her be moved into his warmth. Her face nuzzled into his neck as his arms wrapped around her, surrounding her with his safety. All her energy left her as her body shivered under him.

"Was all this just too much for you, Angelos Mou?" Silas asked as he rubbed her back. "Were you scared? Is that why you had a panic attack?" A whimper left her as she clutched his shirt. "Is it safe to say that you have never slipped before, Jennifer?" She pressed into him instead of replying. "It's okay, Sweetheart. You actually made us very happy by doing so, even if it was involuntary and now scares you. You have nothing to worry about, Angelos Mou. We are actually Daddy Doms and when you slipped into being a Little, it made us very proud. It means that you trust us to take care of you when it becomes too much for you and that is a very huge honor that we will cherish forever. I know you are confused right now but you are also very exhausted and embarrassed. I can feel your anxiety but please try to not believe it. You have done nothing wrong, we are not mad one bit, and you are our very good girl. Now please, just allow me to keep holding you and try to relax."

"Pr..." she sniffled and hiccupped, "pr...pro..."

"We promise Darling," Owen said as he lifted her face, wiped her eyes and nose with his handkerchief, then laid her head back on Silas' shoulder so she could nuzzle back into the crook of his neck. "I'm going to explain what happened to you so you can understand it better, Darling. For most littles, that we have experienced anyway but please understand that each person is different so each experience is different. Some sort of trauma has happened in their life and when life becomes too overwhelming, they mentally regress to an age in their life when they last felt safe. Littles need a Daddy or Mommy caregiver that they trust to properly take care of them. It is, as Silas said, a huge honor to have. From what we experienced, you have begun to trust us as you heal from your past and when you became sick, you mentally knew that you didn't have to take care of yourself so your brain didn't give you the choice and involuntarily had you regress to a younger age. This allowed us to take care of you like you should have been taken care of and also allowed us to take care of you the way we wanted. It made us very happy to be able to do so. You won't always involuntarily slip, we can figure out a way for you to slip when you want. You have nothing to worry about, this side of you does not displease us one bit and you have not disgraced us in any way. You have in fact made our lives better and we are very proud to have you as not only our wife but our Little, I swear it Darling."

"Now would you like your present we promised you earlier?" Axel asked as Silas sat her up so Gabe could gently clean her face.

She sat up, "Present?"