Marvel Oneshots And Crack

Loki The Skibidi Rizz Master

In which Thor is confused, Steve is a stoner, Tony is having a mental breakdown, Clint and Natasha are hiding in the ceiling, and Loki...what is Loki doing?

Thor POV

My started by Clint dropping down from the ceiling, right in front of me and my poptarts. I jump, nearly choking. Clint grins. "Sorry, big guy. Hey, give me one of those."

I offer the tiny bow and arrow man one, feeling slightly guilty for hogging them all. Only slightly, though.

Throughout the house, I hear Tony's voice, singing...rather badly. I wince, and Clint does the same. "I would, ah, avoid the main areas right now. Tony...he's, uh..."

Natasha drops down right beside Clint. "Tony's having a bad week."

"Tony, please, baby, get off the chandelier." Pepper is trying to calm down her husband. Or...what are they exactly?

"AND IIIIIIIIII WILL ALWAYS LOOOOVE YOU!"

"I love you too, baby, I promise. But for fuck's sakes, Tony, get off the chandelier!"

"Tones. Buddy. Off the chandelier. Now."

There's a loud thump, which must be Man of Iron finally getting some sense. For the last week, Tony has been...how to say it...hormonal?

"Okay, Tony, why don't you lie down and watch some TV?"

"I love you, Rhodey. I love you, Pepper."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Love you too, Tones."

Natasha shakes her  head. "The lack of sleep, his dad's birthday recently...it uh, got to him."

I sigh in sympathy, just as there is a crash, and Steve Rogers appears directly in front of me, with a rather odd posture, wearing his full suit. "God bless America!"

I'm about to agree, when Steve shimmers, becomes inches shorter than me, and Loki is standing in front of me, smirking. "Gotcha, Thor!"

I roll my eyes, throwing my slipper at my stupid sibling. Loki winces. "That wasn't very rizz of you."

Clint glares at Loki, who grins back. "Ah, Barton."

Natasha's eyes narrow, but she doesn't make a move to harm him. Slowly more trust has built the longer Loki has been in the Tower. Aside from harmless pranks, Loki really has kept to vemself, for better or for worse. I truly have no idea what vey do in veir room, as vey never let me in. Where is veir room?

Natasha looks around. "Speaking of Steve, where is he?"

Clint frowns. "Last I saw him, he said something about smoking a...a goof butt?"

Loki tilts his head in confusion, as do I. "Must be some odd Midgardian ritual?"

Clint chuckles. "I'm more confused by Steve saying he's smoking."

Natasha grins. "You never know, you saw how he chugged that Asgardian mead."

I proudly nod. "Steve Rogers is a warrior who holds his drink quite well."

Loki elbows me with veir mischievous grin. "Oh, please! I high-key can get way more fucked up than you."

Confused, I shake my head at vem. "I...do not understand anything you are saying."

Natasha and Clint shake their heads. "Neither can we."

Loki rolls veir eyes. "You all are beneath me, I tower over you with my skibidi rizz."

What?! Skibidi...rizz...what are these words?

Natasha frowns. "Thor, has your sibling been....hanging out with teenagers by any chance?"