Marvel Oneshots And Crack

🐥Little Loki and Little Thor

Loki and Thor get hit by a strange Sakaaran drug in a booby trap on the Statesman that makes them both mentally age regress. Chaos ensues. 

Bruce POV

"Loki! Thor! Watch out!"

Brunnhilde yells. Loki and Thor both try to duck, but they're both blasted by the blue fog coming out of the closet. It smells medicinal, and I recognize it as likely some kind of odd drug. 

The two gods are knocked unconscious. Brunnhilde sighs at me and shakes her head. "Great. The two buffoons didn't even duck and now we'll have two high gods to deal with."

I help her drag the two gods to bed, keeping an eye on them. 

Thor is the first to wake up, Loki following shortly after. The blonde's blue eyes are very wide, like a child. My suspicions are confirmed when he jumps up and down. "WE MADE IT!"

He points at the door, and Loki sits up, whimpering in fear. "Ma?"

Something soft awakens in me, and I comfort the trickster. "You're safe, Loki. You're with your brother, see?"

Thor happily skips over. "Hi, Loki!"

Loki begins to cry, and Thor gently hugs him. The younger god clings onto him, lip wobbling. "Aaaaah!"

Brunnhilde winces. "Oh, this isn't good. Uh, Loki, you're okay."

Loki puts his thumb in his mouth and grips Thor's sleeve, even after they separate. "Foo."

Thor bounces on his toes. "I'LL GET YOU FOOD!"

Brunnhilde grins. "How is he even louder? Come back here, Thor, we don't even know how old you are right now."

Thor giggles. "I'M BIG BOY!"

I chuckle. "You sure are. Brunne, I honestly think this is harmless. Look, Thor is smiling. You know how long it's been since he's done that?"

"Smath!" Loki points at me, green eyes wide, looking truly fearful. I sigh with sadness. Who knew Loki could make me want to hug him? "I won't, er, smash, okay? Hulk isn't going to come out."

The trickster god hums and begins to cry again. "Foo!"

Thor begins to look so worried it makes me want to hug him too. Dammit. "We hafta get him food!"

I pat his shoulder. "We'll do just that, Thor."

"Hey, man. What's going o-....oh boy. They got that one drug. It's called Blue Dream. It makes you age regress for six hours and you get either hungry or hyper. Here, man. Where are you going? Come here, up you go, Loki."

Korg picks Loki up like a small child as he begins crawling towards the door, and the trickster god giggles, poking his face. "Daaaaa!"

Thor skips along to the area where the food is kept, giggling and rambling about...whatever he's rambling about. 

I begin to get an idea of Thor's mental age when he puts random things in his mouth and pretends to be a dog, but can still walk and talk for the most part.

Brunnhilde says to me, "So, Loki is around one, and Thor is three or four years old."

To prove that point, Loki is set down on the floor and begins crawling, while Thor is playing some Asgardian version of hopscotch all by himself. He eventually gets distracted by the food and makes sure Loki eats enough while spilling water on himself. 

Chuckling, I find a sippy cup and give it to Thor, managing to find a bottle for Loki and pouring in juice. Loki seems very comforted, his eyes closing after he drinks half of it. 

Thor pouts. "I don't need it, I'm big boy!"

Korg says gently, "It'll help you not get water all over yourself, bro."

Thor huffs, but drinks from the sippy cup regardless. 

The two of them begin to get sleepy after eating, much to our relief. Loki curls up in Korg's arms, babbling with his thumb in his mouth. Thor grumbles and pouts, but eventually sinks onto a sleeping bag and is unconscious. 

When Thor wakes up two hours later, he is whiny and angry, crossing his arms and occasionally making lightning flicker around his hands. Loki is still asleep, a little smile on his face.