Peter: Hey, uh you're Loki, right?
Loki: That would be me, yes. Loki of Asgard, and I am burdened with glorious purpose.
Peter: I'm Peter Parker, or Spiderman.
Loki: Intriguing! Is that why your suit is...that way?
Peter: Yep. Aren't you supposed to be like a big villain?
Loki: It varies from moment to moment.
Peter: On a scale of one to ten, one being I'll spit in your hot dog to ten being killing puppies, where would you say you're at right now?
Loki: Around a 3.
Peter: Let me know if it gets above a 7.
Loki: ....I like this one.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'
Peter: Hey, dude! Uh...are you okay? How are you feeling right now?
Loki: STABBY.
Peter: Oh, uh, okay. Who are you going to stab?
Loki: I DON'T KNOW, I'M JUST STABBY!
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Peter: Let's walk to an ice cream place!
Thor: I ENJOY THIS
Tony: Sure. I know a place...
Loki: I do love ice cream.
Later
Loki: This is too much walking. I need a horse! Hello sir, I need a horse.
Shopkeeper: Uh...we don't have horses.
Loki: *turns on the Asgardian prince charm* You're a pretty boy. Would you so kindly lend me a horse? My legs are so, so tired.
Shopkeeper: *blushes* Uh...sure! I'll get you a horse.
Thor: Brother, what in the nine realms-
Peter: How did you do that?!
Tony: *smirks* Guess I'm not the only playboy around here.
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Peter: You know, you're pretty chill for a guy who tried to take over Earth.
Loki: Why, thank you.
Loki: *stubs his toe*
Peter: Oh that's gotta hurt.
Loki: .......
Peter: You have this look on your face...please don't stab me....
Loki: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
Peter: .......
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Kid: I love Thor!
Loki: Oh really?
Kid: He has that big hammer, and he makes it thunder, and when he slams it on the ground the bad guys fall over!
Loki: *pushes her over* You don't need a hammer, I pushed you over with my bare hand.
Peter: Loki, why are you bullying children?
YOU ARE READING
Marvel Oneshots And Crack
FanfictionI'm getting into Marvel. Help. This title DID change. Cover art done by @meyoco, I think they're on Tumblr. Their art can be found on Pinterest too.
