Marvel Oneshots And Crack

Demonic Voices

Johnny, Stuart, and Roxanne hang out a few times and discover that Johnny and Zarathos are, erm, communicating better. And apparently Johnny never did drop his habit of giving himself pep talks in the mirror.

Johnny POV

"Knock, knock! Whew, this place is nice. Hey, where are ya?"

I'm just coming out of a meditation when Stuart arrives. I get to my feet, rubbing my eyes. "Hey, Stuart. It's 12:30 already?"

He is a friend? I must know. Let me see.

I'm so startled by Zarathos' voice in my head that I just stand there, confused. "Wha-?!"

Stuart is looking at the books piled on the floor. "Damn, Roxie wasn't kidding, you really are a bookworm."

Bookworm? Is that some sort of insult? I am thinking 'enemy'! Destroy him!

I give him a look, eyes crossing as the deep, guttural demon voice disorients me. "You good if I use the bathroom real quick? Don't touch anything."

He nods, straightening up and looking at me, eyebrow raised. "Of course, man. You okay? You're lookin' a little cross eyed."

KILL IT WITH FIRE!

I gasp and knock something over. "Jesus!"

Stuart is looking at me like I just sprouted wheatgrass from my ears now. "Johnny? You good man?"

I nod, practically running to the bathroom. "Yeah, yeah, just, uh...yeah."

My bathroom door is slammed behind me just in time. My hands begin smoking. "Buddy, it's not the time!"

ENEMY!

"Please, I promise, he's a friend! He's friends with Roxanne."

Friend?

I'm braced against the counter, feeling my features contort in an unnatural expression. "Yes, Zarathos, as I said literally two point five seconds ago, he's a friend. Now, uh, can we not burst into flames right now?"

Fine.

A shaky breath of relief. "Thanks."

I leave the bathroom, unsettled but confident I won't turn into a flaming skeleton.

Stuart is looking around my kitchen, noticing my half finish martini glass full of jelly beans on the countertop. "Do you drink the jelly beans?"

I swipe my glass off the counter, nibbling on the candy. "You could say that."

I want coffee!

An intense craving for the coffee I made this morning hits, and I'm suddenly drinking straight from the coffee pot.

CAFFEINE!

I slam the pot back on the coffee maker, wiping off my mouth. "Alright, alright, ready to rock n roll? Is Roxanne already there or is she comin?"

Stuart is shaking his head at me. "Am I supposed to ignore that you just drank a full pot of coffee in one gulp?"

I COULD KILL GOD WITH THIS ENERGY!

I nod, avoiding his eyes as I tug on my jacket. "Yep."

"You know you got coffee on your shirt?"

I shrug. "Black shirt, it's not noticeable."

The door to my loft opens, and Roxanne walks in.