Marvel Oneshots And Crack

wanna go home

Venting through Thor. Modern AU.

POV Thor

The week I went back on the medication was the same week I almost crashed my car.

The psychiatrist kept talking and talking. I was so tired. I just wanted to sleep.

Korg waited outside, playing on his Nintendo. When I left the office, he patted my shoulders. "You did it, bro."

I managed a half smile. "I need to go to bed."

And that I did. I went straight to bed, pulling the covers over me. 

When I woke up, it was to my phone ringing. I groaned and sat up, pressing it to my ear. "Hello?"

"Hello, son."

Oh shit. 

I bit back a groan and said in my best false cheery voice, "Hey, Dad!"

"Hey, sport. How's the beginning of training going?"

Well, fuck. They had no idea...but I'd dropped out of football when my mental health problems began. Which they also don't know about.

I blow my hair out of my face. "Oh, uh...great! Yeah, yeah. It's great. I'm working...so hard."

"We were just calling because you've been very quiet, Thor. Everything okay?"

For a moment, just one moment, I consider telling him about how I can barely get out of bed and I've gained so much weight as a result, about how I tried ketamine for the first time and it was terrifying. 

"...you still there, sport?"

Tears were heavy in my eyes. Did they actually care? "I dropped out."

"You...Thor, you never were the best at jokes, I'm sorry, sport."

I held back a sob. "No, Dad. I'm serious."

"Thor...you really dropped out?"

I sniffle. "Yeah."

"You can take a gap year, son. Whatever it is you need, we'll help."

The flood gates broke open. "It's not just that, Dad."

"Tell us, son. We're here."

I sniffled. "Dad...I'm not going back."

"Thor..."

Tears strolled down my face. "I...I haven't been practicing. Or studying. I gave it all up."

"Alright, what's going on, son?"

I hug my teddy bear that Jane got me before our break up. "I'm depressed."

"It's pretty bad, isn't it."

I break down into sobbing. "It's really bad, Dad."

"Why didn't you tell us?"

I sob harder. "Because...perfect Thor..."

"I'm sorry if we put too much pressure on you."

I laughed harshly. "You told me I owed it to you to stay in school!"

"That was before this happened. Loki told us they were worried about you."

I laugh shortly. "Loki was worried?"

"You haven't called. You used to call once a week."

I sigh. "I...I don't have the energy anymore. I...Dad, I don't leave my bed."

"Oh, Thor...it's that bad?"

I nod. "I...I did ketamine. And coke. And...everything I could find."

"Wha...here I thought you were just a bit down, or perhaps overwhelmed. But meanwhile, you're out doing every drug on the planet, and dropping out?!"

I sniffle. "Dad-"

I hear shuffling, and Mother comes on the phone. "Odin! We're very happy to hear from you, Thor. Would it help if you visited? I'm sure you could come on the weekend....oh. Well, whichever time works for you, dear."

I sniffle. "That...that sounds too hard!"

"I can come over, kiddo. You don't have to even get out of bed."

Feeling relieved, I snuffled again. "I don't look the same. I...I am ugly."

"Thor, oh Thor. You are my son. I don't care what you look like."

I laughed a little. "Thanks, Mom."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When I heard a pebble hit my window at 11am on a particularly bad day, I threw a comb at the glass. Minutes later, Loki was climbing through my window. I didn't move from my bed, only turning up the TV. 

"Brother..." Loki sank onto the floor next to me. I pulled the blankets over myself. "Laugh it up."

He sounded sorrowful. "Thor...why didn't you tell me?"

I closed my eyes. "'m supposed to be perfect."

He shook his head. "No. We just want you to be healthy."

I scoff. "Well, I'm not. So go take your disappointment and shove it up your-"

"I'm not going anywhere."

I said weakly, "I'm fine..."

Loki only looked at me with sadness. "No the fuck you're not."

I laughed. "Obviously!"

My laughter faded, and Loki changed the channel to a weather documentary. I smiled in gratitude, and he lounged on my bed with me.