Marvel Oneshots And Crack

Elevator Stories

😂😂😂😂 Thor and Loki trapped in a long elevator ride. Did the fates set this up to teach them to get along?
*Elevator music is playing* 😂😂😂

Thor POV

Beep.

The elevator doors open and a hooded figure steps inside the lift chute. I turn to observe them, wondering who would be carrying a cupcake on a little china plate like the Queen.

Oh. Right. Him.

I loudly sigh. "One does not simply carry a pastry on a cute little flowery plate and dress like an Assassin's Creed character."

Loki peeks at me from within his oversized hood. Must he be so dramatic? "Thor, you've no style."

Excuse me?! I cross my arms and flip my blond hair over my well-built shoulder. More built than China Plate over there, that is. "I have style! It's just... different from yours."

"You keep telling yourself that."

I stare at Loki, who somehow has a small chocolate cake now. What the Hellheim?!

I clear my throat. "Hey. Loki. Loki! Are you going to share that?"

Loki holds it closer. "No."

I nod. "Alrighty then."

Loki begins humming something I heard on the radio. Some song by the Spice Girls that Jane badly sang along to while giggling once. The memory brings a smile to my face.

He's humming something strange now. The cake he was eating has now been replaced with...a huge tub of ice cream? Where is all this food coming from?!

Loki glares at me with that Thor, Don't Test Me Look™, ice cream staining his cheeks. "I've been in a mental breakdown for a decade now, Thor. Let me have my ice cream! And don't look at me like that! The sweets won't get to me if I eat standing up. It burns calories, you see."

I'm not an expert, but I'm pretty sure Loki has that all wrong. "Where did you hear that?"

Loki replies through a mouthful of ice cream, "Mmph mmph wwmf mmph hmph mmph."

I snicker fondly at his old habit of eating while talking. "What language is that, exactly?"

Loki ignores my joke and repeats what he said in English. "On the television when I astral projected through the screen."

I frown, utterly confused on how he would even do that. "Why..."

Loki is too invested in his ice cream to respond. I cross my arms, wanting some ice cream too. Why does Loki need to hog it all? Hmph.

The elevator suddenly shudders to a stop. I tighten my grip on my hammer. "Loki, the elevator has stopped."

My little brother doesn't seem to notice I spoke. "Loki. Loki! Loki!"

Loki shoves spoonful after spoonful of lemon-colored sludge into his mouth.

He finally looks at me after ten more bites. He's breathless from his rather unhealthy speed of eating. "I'm sorry, Thor. I just-I can't stop eating it!"

I glare at the ice cream. "It must be bewitching you."

Loki swallows two more helpings. "I would know if it were cursed. It's just that delicious. Don't you know of my love for cold treats?"

I chuckle, remembering the time Loki tried to turn his chambers into a tundra when he was 400 years old. "How could I not? You are the only one I know who can hold an ice cube without it melting."

The petite frost giant next to me grunts a noise of acknowledgement. I toss Mjolnir up and down out of pure boredom. "What was that you said about your decade-long mental breakdown?"

Loki sighs and slightly angles his body away from me, arms hugging himself. "Forget I mentioned it."

I touch his shoulder, a pang going through me when he flinches. "Brother, you can tell me."

Shhnng.

Loki whips out a knife, missing my arm with the blade by two inches. I hold up my arms in surrender. "Loki. I mean no harm. I'm simply concerned."

He goes back to hugging himself. "You have to promise not to kill me if I show you."

What?! "Why would I-"

Loki hides his knife. "Allow me to do a bit of shapeshifting. I bet I can undo Father's magic."

I inquire, "Undo?-"

Loki begins to transform before my very eyes. Pale alabaster skin turns even paler. Veins in his face appear, everywhere. Then, it deepens to blue, and the veins vanish. Lines draw themselves on his forehead and cheeks.

I watch as Loki's eyes lose their whites and turn red. He looks at me with the same expression he had in that cell so long ago. "Now you see me, brother."

I embrace Loki, who squirms at first but then relaxes. "Thorrrr! I don't want a hug! Let go of me! Mmmm... you're warm..."

The Loki I'm smothering has literally gone from ice cold to warm. Oh that's right, frost giants are cold-blooded.

Loki doesn't appear to know what's going on. "This is strange. I'm seeming to take on your body temperature."

I chuckle as Loki smiles. A genuine smile, too. "I believe you are now cold-blooded, brother."

Loki thoughtfully tilts his head. "That makes sense. I've always wondered how I wasn't too hot in Asgard or too cold in Jotunheim." 

The elevator doors finally open. Loki hesitates, pulling away from me. I fiercely look at the approaching Avengers. "They will not mock you, brother. Or I will harm them."