If I loved you

For I can't help falling in love with you

'We can't do that!'

'Why not?'

'Ma and Pa are right in the next room!'

'You are joking right? That night when you did "that" to me..... weren't they there, in their room? Right next to us?'

'That's..... different..'

'How?'

'I just.....I didn't....you were....'

'Now you are giving all kinds of excuses.'

'It's not an excuse! It's a serious issue!'

It's been two months already and a few days ago the doctor declared him fit to do daily activities.......I especially asked Dr Wut about...sex ......he said it's okay to do.... just not to overdo. He he.

So when I gave this good news to New he started to make different types of excuses every time I try to get closer to him.

'Let's talk. What's the matter?' He just came out of the bathroom when I closed the door and asked him frankly. It's been three days and I am at my limit. I hadn’t touched him intimately since he had become injured. Even when I kissed him I maintained a restrained attitude. I haven't even hugged him properly because of his injuries.

Now that he has finally recovered, how could I hold back any longer? One night after I got green signal from Dr Wut I tried to hug him. Of course I was careful to hold back my inner fierceness. I hugged him slowly and advanced carefully but he was unresponsive. I thought he was uncomfortable so I quickly withdrew and didn't do anything except holding hands.

This happened two days in a row so tonight I was determined to talk to him openly.

'Nothing....I am going to change...' He mumbled looking everywhere but me.

'Is it really because of ma and pa or something else?' I went straight to his side and hugged him. I really don't know what he's thinking. Usually he is not this much shy.....

'I am really concerned about them....' He started to wiggle.

'If you are this uncomfortable then I’m going to stay in the other room for the next couple of days.' I said in a hoarse voice. It caused him to slightly tremble like a string being strung. 

He is also affected by our closeness then why he is acting like a lost soul?

'Why are you in such a hurry?' Suddenly he grabbed my collar and said with a angry face.

'What?'

'Give me some time.....I am....I am still recovering....I won't be able to.....I mean....I don't have much stamina right now....' His face was bright red and his eyes were pleading.

'One sec one sec....wait.....you don't need that much stamina....and I already talked to Dr Wut....' I held his face and forced him to look at me.

What's he thinking?

'I don't want to hurt you....I never been so close to anyone....I don't know anything, I mean how to reduce pain.....' He was avoiding looking directly at me. His breathing was laboured too.

'That's completely fine...Newiee, you are overthinking......I am also new to this but I've done my research....I will be gentle.... don't get so stressed na? I won't let you get hurt.....I'll take every precaution....' I sensed that something was wrong....but couldn't pinpoint it.

'Why'd I get hurt? I am not thinking about my discomfort. I am thinking about yours....' This time he gave me a strange glance.

'Me? Why's that? I'll be fine. It's you I am worried about..' Why's he thinking like that?