I Give You My All {n.h.}

Chapter Thirty Nine

Brooklyne Spencer

Niall finally forced me out of the hospital for a few hours. I suppose after last nights break down, it was an acceptable time to leave for a little bit.

God, I am such a mess right now. It's slightly embarrassing, but I really can't help it. There's nothing but fear locked inside at the moment. Fear that Norma isn't going to survive.

Niall took me to a little Italian restaurant downtown and ordered me a large order of spaghetti, claiming I've barely eaten the past ten days. I can see the concern he has for me, but when I'm upset, my body can't hold anything down for long. I've actually lost a couple of pounds this past week and a half. It's beginning to scare me a bit.

As of now, I see that it is one in the morning and I can't seem to fall asleep. Niall suggested this afternoon, during our outing, that we should stay at his place tonight. I reluctantly told him I would, though now, being early hours of the morning, I regret it. At least he's getting some sleep. I know he hasn't been sleeping well these past nights. For a couple of reasons that is. One, being that he has bags under his eyes, and two, I know he's been really worried about me. So, now that we're in his own bed, it looks like he's sleeping well.

I carefully slip from his grasp, but his arm, unknowingly curls once I'm gone, and I place a pillow in my spot so that it doesn't wake him. He seems to buy into it, his arm loosening and his body relaxing back into the mattress.

I walk out of the room, nearly tripping over Jensen in the process. We picked him up yesterday and brought him here with us. He's been glued by my side.

I pat my leg and he gets to his feet, following me from the room. I walk into the kitchen, grabbing a bottle of water, then head to the living room. Jensen patiently waits until I'm situated on the couch, then sits himself on the ground beside me. I pat the cushion beside me and he gently stands and hops up beside me. Most of the time, we don't allow him on furniture, but he's been deprived of affection and I need the close company. He slides into a laying position and I lay down beside him, laying my head on him. I wrap an arm around him, holding myself to him and let out a shaky breath.

"You're such a good dog, Jensen." I whisper to him as I pet his fur. He lets out a quiet huff and lays his head down on his paws. I smile to myself and close my eyes, allowing my mind to quiet itself from all of these thoughts running through my mind.

I must've been laying here for about an hour when I feel a presence beside me. I open my eyes and roll over, facing Niall.

"Hey, love." his voice is at a quiet whisper and I shoot him a soft smile.

"You alright?" His voice is laced with concern and I nod, sitting up from my spot.

"Yeah, I couldn't sleep." a small, soft grin quirks up on his lips and he takes my hands, pulling me up with him as he stands.

"And you put a pillow in your place?" I let out a small chuckle.

"I didn't think you'd notice and I didn't want to wake you."

"I noticed, the second that you started moving. I just figured you were going to the restroom or something. I think I fell asleep again, though." he gives a shrug and drops one of my hands, but leads me to the kitchen with the other.

"Sorry about that. I figured I'd give Jensen some attention. He's been deprived for nearly two weeks." he nods and flicks on the light above the stove, giving off a very dim light, but enough to see what he's doing. He then turns and wraps his free arm around around my waist, swiftly lifting me onto the counter. He pulls my hand to his mouth, kissing each of my knuckles once, before setting my hand in my lap and retracting to the refrigerator. I watch as he pulls out the gallon of milk, then walks over to a couple of cabinets, grabbing hot cocoa mix, cinnamon, and two matching mugs. He brings the ingredients over and set them on the opposite side of the stove, seeing as I'm occupying one side, already.