The Boy I Once Loved

Confession #43

He looked at Fin with those expressive eyes. I can see from my place how he looked at Fin with love.
I'm so masochist. Sana hindi na lang ako pumunta.

He kneeled down and I felt like I'm losing everything. This is it. This is the day I am giving up.

"Fin, you're my everything and I can't afford to lose you. Please, stay with me for the rest of your life. I'll promise I will be a good husband to you."
He lovingly said as he hold Fin's hands.

He took a small box in his pocket and opened it slowly.

"Fin, marry me."

BOOM.

I felt the tears of stupidity rolling down on my cheeks. Ang sakit.

Wala na.
Wala ng pag-asa pa.

This will be the end of pathetic love story I had created.

"P-pedro.." Fin uttered.

Please.
Please say no.
Parang awa mo na.

Fin touchs his face as she says those unexpected words.

"I'm s-sorry.. Sorry.."

Nanlaki ang mata ko sa sinabi ni Fin. Did she just say sorry? For what?

My gaze shifted to Pedro who was crying while sitting down on the floor. Hindi ko maiwasang hindi maawa sa kalagayan nya.
The nerve of that girl! Pedro was begging her but she insists on running away from the scene.

Lahat ay nagulat pero napalitan ito ng awa ng makita nilang naglulumpasay ang kaawa-awang nilalang habang umiiyak. Ang kaawa-awang nilalang na tinanggihan ni Fin na magpakasal.

Hindi ko magawang lapitan si Pedro. Ewan ko kung bakit. Pero aaminin ko, mas nasasaktan ako pag nakikita ko syang nagkakaganyan. Ikaw ba naman tanggihan sa proposal? I swear I will reap off Fin's head pag nakita ko sya. Ipinahiya nya si Pedro. Ipinahiya nya ang taong mahal ko. Humanda sya sakin! But I need to know the main reason kung bakit nya tinanggihan ang alok ni Pedro. Hindi kaya naalog utak nya? O ano? Okay. Wala kong maisip na dahilan. Alam kong mabait si Fin pero hindi pa rin ako sang-ayon sa ginawa nya.

Hindi ko kayang makita ng harap-harapan na nagdudusa si Pedro.

Hinubad ko ang suot kong sapatos at lumabas sa townhouse na ipinagawa pa nila Pedro at Fin. We're supposed to stay here for a week para magcelebrate, pero dahil sa nangyari, I don't think na dapat pa kaming magstay dito dahil punong-puno ito ng masakit na ala-ala.

I ran as fast as I could para maabutan si Fin. Hingal na hingal ako kakatakbo kaya napahinto ako agad. Napatingin ako sa paligid and I was so shocked to saw Fin... with other guy.

Seryoso silang nag-uusap kaya hindi ako nito napansin. Nagtago ako sa tindahan malapit sa kinatatayuan ko. May tabing kasi ito dahil tirik ang araw kaya malaya kong maitatago ang mukha ko.

Seryoso ang mga mukha nila habang nag-uusap at maya-maya lang eh pumasok na si Fin sa kotse nito. Mabilis ang pagmamaneho ng lalaki at halatang may tinataguan. Kung tutuusin eh gwapo ito at matangkad, at parang may lahing banyaga. Grabe. Haggard na haggard na nga ko pero napansin ko pa yun.

But the evidence is clear.

So iyon pala? Yun pala yung dahilan kaya ayaw nyang magpakasal?

How dare her.

I composed myself as I walk hurriedly pabalik sa townhouse. Kahit masakit, kailangan 'tong malaman ni Pedro.