Writing Tips and Reviews

Calamity Trio of Boring Part 4

Before we continue:

I want to make something clear, while I am milking this series for all its worth, I am also doing this because I promised the creator I would review his story. Why? Because I didn't know how bad it would be when I decided this was a good use of my time. I will also say that he is working on adding new scenes to explain the parts of other series, such as Sonic and Mario which he did not explain. So, I'm glad he listens to at least 10% of what I say. It's more than the 1% of Shawn and Kale combined.

I don't think this is a "natural and good way" to continue the Amphibia story. It is a cross-over but he thinks this is the best way Amphibia could've been continued. He was adamant that it was impossible to remove the Amphibia ties because that would destroy the base work, but that's not true. He says no one else could've destroyed that building and led to the same result, but that's not what I meant when I asked if Amphibia elements could be removed. The truth is that anyone could've destroyed the building and become the symbol of hatred.

What I meant by "Amphibia elements" were the core aspects of it. Not just the three main characters. The world and the themes are important but he doesn't see that. He thinks if he only adds the three girls, he can call it Amphibia season 4 and talk about how it is the best way to continue the show.

To explain what I mean, Specter of Glass cannot work as anything but a Fate story. It uses the characters within the game, mentions the singularities, has the power system, and has similar themes. I cannot write The Specter of Glass without the Fate elements. The premise is similar in that the goddess hates Fujimaru for killing her brother, but the difference is that there is no one else who can replace Fujimaru. Anne could be replaced by anyone and Roman would go on the same route of destruction.

Another thing to point out is that the author said the surgery was for enhancements and not mind control, but the story constantly pulls ass moves that aren't natural character development toward evil. They come off as mind control. And if it's not, then it's just bad writing. Anne, who saved the world, wouldn't say "I'm going to kidnap and abuse children in front of their parents because some guys said so! I'm so evil!" Then again, the true purpose of this story isn't to write a good story, it's to torture the Amphibia girls because... I don't know fetishizing abuse is fun I guess.

I come from the Fate community, and even we don't torture characters for creepy fetish dreams.

And finally, I don't like the fact of this guy's ego. I'll say it in every part, but if this was just a fun story, I wouldn't care about most of it. Unfortunately for everyone involved, this story "fixes season 3" and "is the best continuation of the Amphibia show". Everyone I've ever shown this to and those in our groups all agree that this story is the worst thing for Amphibia season 4. I tried to tell him that advertising this as "the best way Amphibia could naturally progress" was stupid. But I guess when you dump 5k dollars into "the best thing ever created", there's not much I can do.

How the hell do I keep getting people who think their stories are godsend from the heavens? Why can't I get people who just enjoy writing and think it's fun?

CHAPTER 7

Before we get into this chapter, it is based on a fan-made game for Mario. I'm not kidding. The author expects EVERYONE, not just Mario fans, to know a game THAT WASN'T MADE BY THE ORIGINAL CREATORS. Are you serious? I barely know Mario, again THE FATE FREAK WHO SHOWED UP TWO MONTHS AGO, and somehow, SOMEHOW, you expect me to know everything about this FAN-MADE GAME to understand your story? I AM SO TIRED.

Note: I ended up complaining so much that he added the context to the game.

The man, reluctant to waste time hunting down individuals for their souls, delved into research to identify worlds where he could swiftly gather the souls he needed. His search led him to the perfect place-the Alice Aduraice mansion.