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It's the final story part of this review, and I wish it would end sooner. You can take that any way you want; it won't be wrong.
"And here is where we reach the end, and by the end, I mean when we end ourselves." -Ponder Sprocket
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Chapter ten: Raven is evil because... because she is. Shut up.
"I hate today even more than in the cell. Almost everyone heard about what happened and I knew that would happen all along."
Get over yourselves, you did something illegal, and you're not the victim. Earthquake spent an entire chapter whining about it, then you all said it wasn't so bad and he's whiny, but here you are, being just as whiny as him for something else. You don't get to judge him when you're the same. I don't know why anyone would think this is any form of good writing. "Whining: the game", is still a better title. And also, give us some character development that's not constant WHINING.
I feel like you're the type of person who will make a movie, but it's 60 minutes of a character crying and thinking that's the best thing to ever exist. People don't like it when kids in real life are crying in the grocery store, do you think they're going to like it in a fictional book? It's not even an emotional scene like someone lost a person they love, it's crying when mommy said no to buying you a candy bar then you calling mommy evil and saying she's trying to destroy your life. You are pathetic.
"So much for us making another entrance like normal people."
So much for this being a decent story. I had hopes that this wouldn't be a colossal train wreck, thanks for proving me wrong. You still haven't established anything about these characters and you still think I know who they are.
08/19/2021: If you wanted to portray yourselves as "normal people" then you shouldn't have gone against the rules or yelled at the headmaster. If you accepted you did wrong, then maybe you wouldn't have gotten a punishment and it wouldn't have gone viral. Or maybe... and this is just a thought, you shouldn't have decided to throw a party on the first day of school knowing it was illegal.
And then comes the one "another" stating you morons have done this before. What happened then? Why didn't you learn from that experience? Why do I try? You give us so much information without the context behind it. This is why exploring the timeline should be necessary, we should get to see what happened before and this chapter should have done that. But no, we only get characters crying and no development. Which, I'm not surprised anymore.
"I don't know what to do, especially when Raven, the school's bully comes along. I feel even more helpless and I don't like feeling helpless."
Well, how about you NOT break the school rules? And NOT yell at the headmaster because you think you're better than him? And why do I know more about Raven than I do about you? I'm sorry, who are you and why should I care? All I know is that you're a whiny little bitch like the rest of your friend group except for the two who are just stupid.
