Chaos In My Mind

Let it take me

There’s a shadow in my chest
that grows like a hungry sea,
and every night it whispers,
come, let go, come to me.

It hides in the corners of my bones,
waiting for the moment I slip,
waiting for my tired hands to loosen
their shaking, weakening grip.

My thoughts move like thick black smoke,
my heartbeat echoes slow,
and the world feels far, a fading star
I’m too exhausted to follow.

My eyes drop under a weight
no sleep can ever ease,
my soul feels like a room
left abandoned in the breeze.

And sometimes I imagine letting it happen.
letting the dark rise, steady and deep,
letting it swallow my name, my soul,
letting it cradle me the way oceans keep their secrets buried.

Because the struggle has torn me open,
left my hands scraped raw from holding on,
and I’m so tired of fighting a tide
that comes and goes, but is never gone.

So I stand on the shore of myself,
weak, unsteady, trembling through,
and I feel the darkness reach for me
like something that already knew
I’d come.

An old friend with an open jaw,
a patient song, a quiet plea.
calling me closer, whispering lower:
If you stop resisting, you'll finally be free.

And I hate that I hear it.
I hate that it feels true.
But the more I drown in this endless night,
the more I fear the fight
more than the consuming
that waits in the shadows
for me.