Finding My Normal

Ch 72: Lessons Learned

I'm back at home after Owen dropped me off and left with Dr. Green to take him to his shift at the Hospital.  Kota, Victor, Silas, Nathan, Gabriel, Luke and North are here in my room with me.  My dads tried to throw a fit about so many boys in my room, but Lily told them to shut it.  That they don't get to be parents today after what they did to me.

So here I am with my seven friends.  We just got done going through everything that has happened.  I told them about my past, what my father did, Volto, the recruiting assignment, my four dads and even about the Academy.  

They filled me in on everything that went on while I was kidnapped and I can't help but be proud that they were all able to work together and accomplish a mission.  I think I chose a really good Academy team.  I guess putting Owen and Sean on my recruitment recommendations was smart too since they are already Academy.  But all that doesn't matter because Volto said it was all a lie.  The boys are still interested in the Academy, so I guess that benefits Owen and Sean, but I won't be a part of it.  I don't know how I feel about the Academy anymore.  I don't know how I feel about my family.

A knock sounds on my door and my mom opens it a crack, "Boys, it's getting late.  I think Sang should get some rest."

My friends gather their things and say goodbye to me with hugs and promises to be back tomorrow.  I watch them leave and then curl back up in my bed.  Lily comes in and sits at the edge.  "Sang?  Henry wants to talk to you."

"I'm sleeping."  I mumble through my pillow.

"He's right outside.  I think he can hear you."

Despite my talk with Jay I am still not ready to speak to Henry.  I just need some time to cool down still, so I can listen to him with open ears.

I sigh and sit up in my bed, "Mom, what he did..."  I shake my head back and forth wanting the knowledge to just go away.  "I don't know if I can talk to him."

"Will you at least listen to what he has to say?  You don't have to talk to him.  I know it's tough, you can't imagine the things I wanted to do to him when I found out what he did, but there's a lesson to all this.  It's one I think we've all miss-interpreted over the years and some of us have ignored."

"What are you talking about?"

"What has the Academy taught us?"  Lily asks me.

"Family is a choice?"

"What else?"  

I think for a second, "Trust your family."

"Trust your family."  She repeats.  "Sang, why didn't you tell us about your fears?  About this Volto?  We thought you were just traumatized by your last foster home and you didn't correct our assumptions.  Why?"

I fiddle with my blanket a bit before answering.  "I didn't actually know someone was watching me until that last night in foster care.  That note was left on my eighth birthday along with a rose.  I thought it was from my parents, but when Volto showed up that night and left roses in the yard I knew it was from him.  That's when I got scared.  I didn't tell you because you wanted to adopt me,"  I look down at my hands before continuing, "I thought you might not want me anymore if you knew I was trouble.  That this person was after me.  So I kept it a secret and never left the house.  I figured that would keep all of us safe."

"Babykins, you broke the rule.  I understand you had been moved from home to home and being adopted by us was your first chance at security and stability.  I understand you didn't want to mess that up, but later once you felt comfortable, once you knew that we really are your family you should have trusted us enough with the information to know that we would never leave you.  We would never abandon you."

This is what Jay was talking about, another lesson to learn. I should have trusted my family to take care of me. They would have never abandoned me like my real parents did.   "I realize that now, I'm sorry."  I look up into her eyes asking for forgiveness, but I can tell she's already given it to me.  She wraps me in a hug and kisses my forehead.  

"Now, Sang.  Your father also broke the rule.  Actually he had it a bit twisted.  He always thinks we should trust him enough to make decisions without telling us."  She says in a louder than indoor voice probably so Henry can hear while he stands outside.  "He needs to learn to trust us as well.  To trust us with the information and ideas so we can make decisions together as a family.  Now, you talk it out with him.  If you don't want to talk don't, just listen okay Babykins?"  I nod and she leaves the room letting Henry come in.

He takes a seat at my desk and turns the chair to face me.  "Sang, I'm so sorry.  I know that's not enough, but please don't be mad at William, John and Liam.  It was my idea, I put it into action."

"They knew about it, they went along with it."

He sighs, "I know."  He just stares at the ground while I watch him.  Waiting for him to say something, because I have nothing left to say to him.  Finally he looks back up and I see small pools of tears gathering in the corners of his eyes.  "Sang, you didn't leave for five years."  He says and he sounds tortured by that fact.  "I wanted what's best for you.  I wanted you to live the life you deserved and you couldn't do that within four walls.  That's why I made up the assignment.  I just wanted you to be free again."

"So none of it was real?  Volto was telling the truth?  You made it up, the Academy had nothing to do with it?"

"No, the Academy had nothing to do with it.  I created the entire assignment.  I had Owen give me a dossier of students he was already looking into.  I figured it wouldn't hurt for you to do the same thing since he was there for his own team.  Of course he would make the final decisions."

I felt so useless.  All my efforts wasted because Mr. Blackbourne had already done all the research, he doesn't need my recommendations.  He is perfectly capable of choosing his own team.  

I sit up straighter and ask him, "And you hired Owen and Sean to watch over me?"

"I wanted you to go out into the real world again, but it was hard for me because we wouldn't be there to protect you, keep an eye on you.  I needed them to look after you only until you got your footing.  Please forgive me, Sang.  I only wanted what's best for you."

"I guess Mom was right.  We both should have talked instead of keeping secrets.  I was so scared when I figured out Mr. Blackbourne was following me.  I thought he was Volto."

He sighs at the thought of how things could have been prevented.  "I didn't mean for him to scare you..."

"Dad, stop.  I know that wasn't your intention.  If I had told you guys about Volto this could have all been handled differently and if you had told me about Owen and Sean I wouldn't have been afraid of them.  I take responsibility too."

"No Sang, you don't have to do that.  You were just a kid of course you were scared to tell us.  I'm the adult here, I should have known better than to keep secrets from the two most important girls in my life."

I give him a small smile, "I forgive you Dad."  I get up and give him a quick hug then before I let go I say, "if...."

He chuckles, "Oh dear, what does this Booger want?"  I laugh, not realizing how much I missed hearing my horrible nickname the past couple days.

"If I can have another sleepover with my friends."  I bargain with him.

"Wait.  Those boys?"  I nod my head and he scrunches his eyebrows together, "Those boys were the ones who came to the sleepover for your birthday?"

oops! Cat's out of the bag now!

I give him a guilty smile and he shakes his head.  "Fine.  One sleepover and we're all going to be here, so there's no funny business."

I give him another hug and ask the question that's been on my mind the past few hours, "Dad, will I ever be in the Academy?"

"Yes, Sang, but not for awhile." 

The Academy is something I've always wanted.  I don't think I can wait any longer and now that my friends might possibly join Owen's team...maybe that's my opportunity.