May 14th 9:03 pm
You walked onto the subway on your way back from time square and I think if we never made eye contact I'd never have the courage to actually end up talking to you. Your eyes did something to me mendes, and I wish I could explain.
You nudged into me, to say it was on purpose is a guess, but I hope it was.
We talked, and I could tell we both needed it.
How long has it been since you've talked to someone shawn?
I remember thinking that and getting a warm feeling you talked to me, just knowing your name gave me butterflies.
If only they'd last.
May 21st 2am
A week went by and to get a random text from you at 2am was not something I expected.
My heart did flips at that text and what we talked about was nothing special.
Were you up because you were thinking of me?
I wish I asked you that question that night it would've made life easier for the both of us.
May 23rd
I'll always remember this date, you asked me to go out to get coffee and I remember how happy I was.
Were you that happy?
Coffee never tasted so good sitting across from you, let me tell you that.
The latte was watered down and almost tasted like nothing but you can make anything great.
June 1st
that trip you took almost killed me. Loving you was going to be hard if you left for that long.
I wish I listened to myself.
Our date wasn't as good as the coffee one, we drove to a gas station at midnight so you could buy some cigarettes. The open sign was blinding because it was so dark. At least your cigarettes were on sale.
The only thing that made it a date was that you kissed my cheek once.
Is smoking your life away something you enjoy? It sure puts a smile on your face.
October 31st
Thanks for a great halloween, It wasn't halloween themed at all and it felt nice having you talk to me again.
We've been a little distant lately.
But I still love you.
November 2nd
I like you when you're drunk.
Your lips smelled of whiskey and we were dancing and playing loud music.
You've discovered things about my body that made me fall in love with you more.
At the end of this night I'll pray for another like this.
November 8th
We took the same subway route as the one where we met except this ride was practically empty.
I liked it better.
We joked and remembered the time we first started talking and I thanked you for having such pretty eyes.
You asked why I did and I didn't answer.
Maybe I should've.
December 1st
I'll forever with my soul hate that woman who flirted with you.
Who the hell does she think she is?
She went in for a kiss and I saw you hesitate to stop her.
Why? Why did she look so kissable ?
The only thing that stopped you was when you quickly looked at me and realised what was going to happen if you let her connect her lips with yours.
We probably should've talked about what happened after.
December 24th
Why did you decide to be such an ass hole on Christmas eve?
This holiday will always be ruined.
You said fuck you like it was nothing and threw the ring you bought me in the garbage.
I saw that girl you were with, don't act stupid.
December 25th
I cried, I cried so damn hard because you didn't call, or text.
I threw my gifts away.
You were probably with that woman.
I miss you shawn, come back
January 8th
I hope you have a great year, I called and there was no answer.
I still love you you know?
If you came back my arms would be open.
Im sorry.
February 3rd
I tried leaving another message but it said your inbox was full.
You never listened to my messages and I have to admit it hurt.
A lot.
I got drunk, insanely drunk and threw away the coat you left at my house.
Remember the plans we had to live together?
I do too.
I regret throwing away that coat.
March 12th
I heard about that car accident you had, it was serious.
I tried visiting you in the hospital, I was crying but they only let family go in.
I sat outside shaking and crying too hard to drive.
I was hoping you lived.
April 23rd
You're okay, thank god.
I slammed you with I think 100 texts but I think you blocked me bc none of them delivered.
Sorry for that, it's hard to unlove someone.
May 14th
Today's the anniversary we met and I cried for what seems like hours.
I love you
I miss you
I care
But I found your address so I decided this will be your gift.
I've cried over this many times.
Happy anniversary
_______________________________________~you all are so nice thanks for the comments and votes :))
~~leah
