((requested by redd_rosie hope you enjoy baby boo:-)
SMUT WARNING
Laramie's POV:
"Sorry I'm late," Shawn lets himself into my house, looking at me with soft eyes that usually on other nights, are clouded with lust and need, "you'd be surprised how much traffic there is at this hour."
It's always in the late hours of night when Shawn looks his best, so real and down to earth. He's wearing a loose t-shirt that happens to make him look cuddly and comfortable, along with sweatpants that have to be his favorite, but what I love most is the flush of his cheeks and the frizzed hair.
he doesn't even have to try to look beautiful.
"It doesn't matter now, you're here," I sigh, bringing the tall man into an embrace, breathing in the scent of cologne and mint.
Bringing my head from the crook of his neck I begin kissing him with the need and lust that I hold for him every Saturday, what we do is such a routine there's no guessing what each other will do.
Groaning into the kiss he tugs at the hem of my shirt, and I nod, allowing him to lift it, exposing my new lace bra I purchased just for this night.
Instead of leaning back in for another hungry kiss, Shawn takes his time to actually appreciate my body, admire it, he steps back just to take a look, and bites his lip, "God Laramie you look beautiful."
His words catch me off guard, Shawn's visits never consist much of talking about compliments, considering a friend with benefits is only here to get me off every once and a while, but I accept it and decide to keep going as if he didn't say anything.
thinking he has too much clothes on, I do the same as he did to me, I tug at the end of his shirt as I explore his mouth with my tongue, letting out a soft moan as I do so.
"lets take this to a bed," he mumbles against my lips, fiddling with his belt before he undoes the button on my shorts, pulling them down the slightest so the waistband of my underwear is showing at the top.
Shawn, being the muscular man he is, picks me up so my legs are wrapped around his waist, and brings me upstairs, collapsing us on the bed with him on top, roughly kissing me on my neck and collar bone, claiming his territory.
"I need you," I let out breathlessly, hearing his labored breathing as he bites and licks at my neck, I grip at his back and hair, the tension between us being too much.
"shhh princess," He stops leaving hickies and makes eye contact, his eyes still surprisingly soft, "I want to take things slower tonight."
Shocked, and not anticipating the sudden care he now has, I just reduce my clawing to rubbing his shoulders, scared of what he may be thinking.
"y-you mean making love?" my voice cracks as he slowly snakes his hand under my back and unclasps my bra, and takes it off with care.
"mmmhmm," the vibrations of his words now against my neck again sends shivers down my spine and I just close my eyes trying not to show the fear I have coursing through my body.
No, he loves me, he can't love me.
I never wanted anything more than what we've been doing for the past couple of months, I didn't want a relationship with my best friend, even when we did start pleasing each other for fun.
My worst fear of getting myself into something like this was one of us falling in love, and his whole attitude tonight, and the way he looks at me, makes it clear that he didn't want to keep it on a friendship level anymore.
"Shawn I-" I begin to speak but he shuts me up with a slower kiss, one that doesn't say I need you, but more of I love you.
Shawn kicks off his pants and slowly takes off his boxers, doing the same to my panties but instead of going at the usual pace, he enters me slowly and breathes into my neck, making me let out a softer moan than usual.
"I want to treat you right," his lips are pressed against my temple, and he leaves small kisses there, making me lust for him in a different way than I did before.
I have always loved Shawn, I've been in love for him for as long as I can remember, but the risk of losing him, is too much for me to comprehend. Relationships have always been something I don't really strive with and the idea of breaking someone so sensitive and gentle as shawn eats away at me.
I let out more moans, letting him know he can pick up his pace, and with every thrust he lets more and more of himself inside of me.
"You feel amazing," He lets out with a groan, only bringing the heat between my legs grow more.
Running my hands through his hair, I allow the pure pleasure take over me as I let out the most primal sounds, not wanting anyone else to be doing this to me but Shawn.
"I'm close," I let out, feeling the tension built up being too much to contain anymore.
"Me too baby, do it," Shawn begins attacking my neck again with kisses as I release, and he does the same as well shortly after, letting out a raspy moan, and slowing down his pace.
His arms give out as he lays on top of me breathless, and I lay under him, with my eyes close, shaking my head no, already knowing the disappointing news I have to deliver tonight.
"That was amazing," he laughs, pulling out and laying down next to me.
That's when the lump in my throat becomes too much for me to contain anymore, so I begin crying, letting soft tears flow down my cheeks, not wanting to look at the man I love, but can't have.
Luckily he didn't notice, so he keeps talking, "you're everything to me Laramie and I-I" he sounds nervous and choked up, with the mix of being out of breath, "and I love you."
The soft crying turns to louder sobs, and that's when the romance of the situation ends. He props himself on his side, causing me to open my eyes and look at his panicked face, "Did I do something wrong?"
"Yes, god Shawn, you can't love me," I cry, and I shove the hand he was going to use to wipe my tears away back down to his side and the wave of hurt that crosses his face only makes me cry harder.
"But I do, Baby girl you know I do," His eyes gloss over as he runs his hand through his hair, biting his lip trying to think of what to do.
"Don't call me that, this can't happen we can't happen," I sit up and look around my bedroom, pulling on a t-shirt as I gather his stuff.
"I don't get it, Why can't we happen? Did you think I'd let us just screw for forever, with out ever trying to make something out of it?" His tone raises with each word, and my heart is slowly getting torn apart by what I'm about to do.
"Because I don't love you," I let out a wail at my own lie, I just lied to him but I'll be the only one to ever know that, "You'd just get hurt anyways so just go."
"I know to you I'm just some fuck toy you use, but to me I considered you my friend, even if I didn't fall hopelessly in love, so Jesus Laramie now I know where I stand."
And with that, he rips the clothes from my hand and redresses, leaving my house into the night, with me huddled on the floor of my room, wishing I could learn a way to love somebody like shawn.
But now, I'm left with picking up the pieces of experiencing my worst fear...
and that was hurting him.
_____________________________________________________________________________________some sad shit right here and I hope you liked it Laramie, you're a holy kid.
~Leah
