Y/n's POV:
"You could never know what it's like y/n, and I wish you could see that." The air surrounding us holds the feeling of sadness, not letting light to shed through to show happiness, but after 8 months, it's very easy to forget the dreadful feeling of the atmosphere.
"Shawn, I'm not saying I do," I run my fingers through his hair as his head rests on my lap, the two of us trying to understand each other on some level, "I'm saying that you need help baby, I hate seeing you like this."
I try and focus on his breathing, deep and steady, holding back emotions that he saves to let out later when no one's there to watch. It's hard to ignore hearing him sob during a shower, or seeing him wipe away tears that don't even make a noise.
"I'm almost 18," he mumbles, swallowing heavily, I can hear the lump gathering in his throat, "and I have to spend my birthday with out my family, with out anyone."
I sigh, the breath sounds as if I've been keeping it in my lungs for years, holding it there for the right moment to let it out.
"You have me muffin, you'll always have me." I remove my hand from his hair and tuck my own strands behind my ear, and try to pretend my eyes aren't stinging from the hurtful emotions crowding my thoughts.
"I didn't even get to say goodbye, and m-my sister," All his muscles begin to tense up, he's not the one that likes to show weakness or emotion when he's upset. Feelings have never been his strong suit.
"They love you," I cut him off, letting some of my own tears fall onto my shirt, feeling deep sorrow and sympathy for the family of the one I love, "they might be gone but I'm so thankful you recovered."
"You should've heard her scream y/n, she didn't die quickly," Sobs ripple through Shawn's body as he says this, the haunting memories of losing his family in a car crash overwhelm him in unbearable sadness.
"Baby she's okay now," I wrap my arms around his shoulders, trying to hold him and comfort him as he cries into my legs, "She's not hurting anymore."
"Why did I have to be the one to live? I lost everyone to that god damn drunk driver and I'm left here," His face is red from the crying and the tears come down in streams, It's almost as if my heart is getting stabbed as I hold him crippling and out of breath from crying.
"I wish I could answer that but I'm so happy you did live, god Shawn I couldn't imagine you gone," I lay back so I'm fully laying down on the bed, his head still on my lap, and the two of us letting out our pain through tears, tears for his family.
Minutes go by of us just mourning, mourning the loss of wonderful people. People who took me in and treated me like family, their home that I considered my own, and gave out unconditional love.
"I wish I was home more, to spend time with them, my career took all that time away from me. They had their lives taken away while all I had were injuries that could heal." He begins to calm down, but his voice is still cracking from the pressure of getting lost in sorrow.
"You didn't have to be there for them to know you loved them, but I know your parents wouldn't want you with them right now, they want you here Shawn, they always will."
_____________________________________________________________________________________~sorry for the depressing story line but I hope you all enjoyed, sorry for not being so active writers block is awful.
~Leah
