Shawn's POV: (yes again)
"So it was an act?" Brian takes another mouthful of his beer, pondering what I've said so far about my break up with y/n. There's not much more to say other than I sacrificed a relationship I loved for my job. None of it was worth it.
"yeah," I sigh, the alcohol in some weird way is lifting my mood to be somewhat nonchalant, even if it did take two hours of crying and three cans of beer to get here.
"You have a point," He swishes around the caramel color substance around in his bottle, looking at the bubbles in slight fascination, "about her life having a chance of being happier. The hate was just brutal man."
I nod, keeping my gaze on the blank TV, feeling too shameful to make eye contact with one of my best friends. It's been almost six months since the incident and I'm just now able to tell him what happened, due to his graduate school being so far away. These things never feel right being discussed over the phone.
"Did Ian have any input?" Brian leans forward with a sympathetic sigh, placing his drink on the table and leaning back into the couch cushions, following my gaze to the nothingness that stares back at me on the screen.
I scoff, noticing the similarities in what both Brian and Ian have said to me, "Nah man, you two basically said the same thing, which makes me feel a little bit better about what I did. No one deserves to be beat upon day after day over social media."
"But even then," He turns so he's sitting cross legged facing me on the couch, but I remain face forward and slumped into the worn cushion, "you two were together for so long that I don't think that was even a problem for her anymore. I mean sure, sometimes that shit gets to people, it gets to you occasionally, but overall, just like you, she learned to live with it."
It's weird having such a serious conversation with Brian, we almost never discuss girls this seriously, probably being girls I've dated in the past didn't mean nearly as much as y/n did to me.
I swallow hard, not willing to let my emotions take over again, not wanting to go back to my endless tears, "I know," my eyes are burning and glossing over.
"You know what hurts most?" My voice cracks, the lump in my throat beginning to become impossible to ignore, "what hurts most is that she hates me, she absolutely despises me for something I know I didn't do, but I had to make her believe anyways."
"You should try talking to her," He checks the clock, seeing how late it is, and then looks back at me with sorrow in his eyes, "because I've seen you with women Shawn, and none of them even compare to how you acted with y/n."
He's right, he's absolutely right, I need to throw caution to the wind, ignore every shitty thing Andrew has ever said to me, and talk to her. Even if it means I lose my job, at least I won't lose my happiness.
"Do you even know where she lives now?" I bring my palms to my eyes and sigh heavily, not exactly sure how I'm going to handle something so huge like talking to the one I love.
Brian grins, most likely happy that I'm willing to try and get my life back, after 6 months of purely giving up on myself and my situation, "Yeah man, she got her own apartment downtown, with out me knowing man I dated one of her friends and after you two ended her friend has been sort of keeping me up to date on y/n's where-a-bouts."
I want to laugh, out of pure joy of the possibility I might be able to hear the voice that haunts my voicemail, in person for the first time in months.
Writing down y/n's address and leaving it on the table in front of me, Brian puts on his coat, wishes me luck and leaves out into the night.
If not now, then when?
