( Happy Birthday Isabelle!! ( @isabella98750 ) I hope you like this sorry if it wasn't as amazing as you deserve it to be especially because it's your birthday.)
Shawn's POV:
Walking the hallways of my barren school puts a depressing mood on my entire day, especially when I'm faced with the fact that I have to see that beautiful haunting face everyday. Being Isabelle's best friend has always been the best thing that has happened to me since 8th grade, but in 8th grade I didn't have to battle the problems of falling for her. In 8th grade a friend was all she was and that was that. Who knew now being a senior would make my feelings so strong and complicated.
The only way I could bring myself to describe her is art, everything about her is that one general word. The way she smiles with her eyes and laughs at basically anything I say, and the way she'll listen to any problem, no matter how big or how small, and actually hear the words I'm saying and ponder them until she comes up with reliable advice, but I know she'll never think of me the way I'm constantly thinking of her.
Every time I even think of approaching her about how I'm feeling, about how I want to be the one to hold her and reassure her of everything going on in her life, I always stop myself as if to say...
What are you? Stupid?
I always go back to that memory that still burns in the back of my brain when we were only in 9th grade of her telling me how she would never date one of her guy friends. She always brought up points like the complications that come with it and losing someone so very important to you, and believe me everyday I just thought about how right she was.
Losing her would be like never seeing the sun again, things would be dark and illuminated by pointless pale light from the moon that would do the world's beauty no justice. Isabelle had her own light, she was my light.
But never having her, that was like a torture that would last forever, my own personal hell I guess you could say.
"Shawn?"
I look up from the floor and blow the muddled cloud of thoughts hovering in my brain away to meet the all too familiar eyes of my sunshine.
"Yeah?" Pathetically, my voice cracked, ruining my calm attitude that I had to be careful about, no way am I going to be the one to ruin something so special, by giving it away.
"Are you okay? You've been so," she pauses, in search of the correct words, "uh, I don't know, distracted lately."
Damn she knows me so well, too well matter of fact.
"I-I'm fine," I mentally face palm myself for the stutter, god this couldn't get anymore painful. Isabelle is spot on with her observations, it's been too hard to just keep the thoughts of how much I love her away.
Not buying what I said, She continues walking at a fast pace down the hallway, causing me to jog slightly to keep up.
"It's just I don't know," I don't want her thinking I'm keeping something really important away from her, and yes even though this may be important to me it's also not worth creating trust issues over. Last time I wouldn't tell her something important, I almost lost her and since then we're both an open book.
"Shawn it's okay you can tell me," She giggles, and for a moment it sounded as if angels have sent a song from the heavens. It's kind of scary what she does to me.
"You'd get mad," I said the words so fast all the words practically sounded the same and I decided to keep talking so she had no time to react, "and it's really not important, or serious."
Isabelle pushes her weight on the lobby door, allowing the freezing free air to hit our bodies, causing me to shiver because the light material of my hoodie isn't enough protection from the raging climate.
Sighing, with a hint of annoyance in her voice, she says, "Damn it Shawn I'm not going to beg you just tell me, and since when have I gotten mad at you?"
"Well I've never brought something up this important to me, and besides you know how weird it is for me to talk about my feelings." I look down at the pavement as we continue to walk at a fast speed through the parking lot to her car.
"Feelings huh?" The annoyance gets replaced my puzzlement, making me want to go run and hide in her trunk, "the great and powerful has feelings he wants to talk about?"
I smile while she laughs, making my racing heart beat even faster, knowing that if she keeps doing beautiful acts like this she's going to make me say what I've wanted to for so long right here in this empty parking lot.
"I know shocking," I muse, my cheeks turning pink from the mixture of nervousness and the chilling air, "but yeah I do."
"Spill," Isabelle turns around and leans on the side of her car, with her arms crossed, patiently waiting for me to tell her what's up.
"No seriously Isabelle I don't know, you didn't give me time to think this through, o-or think in general.." I pull at my hoodie strings nervously, trying to come up with any excuse.
"You think too much," Now I know she's frustrated, she hates when I do this, which also doesn't put me in the best position considering I need her happy to get the reaction I've been wanting for so long from her.
"I didn't think about this at all!" Not meaning too, I raise my voice, probably putting the idea in her mind that I want to fight her, but in reality I just didn't want to screw this up.
"You don't need to shawn!" She gains her posture from leaning on the side of the car, showing that she's getting defensive.
Now, I'm shivering, and I have never wanted to get in her car so bad, so at least we could fight this through with warmth streaming us, but something hits me. I may never get another chance of her begging me to say what I feel, and what I've been craving, and I know letting this go would be the dumbest decision of my life.
So I do the dumb thing of looking at her lips, looking at how cold they must be but how supple and soft they would feel against my own, and I do something that my anxious self would never do, I kiss her.
I peck her lips for a couple seconds and pull back to look at her, so terrified of what she might do, but when she doesn't move I kiss her again, this time taking my sweet time and finally getting her to move her lips with my mine in sync. I never knew something so simple could feel this amazing, with my hand cupping her cheek and her hands grabbing my arms and running through my hair, it almost makes my heart stop.
Reluctantly, we pull away, both gasping, not used to the mechanics of kissing, and It hits me that I just kissed my best friend, my best friend who swore to never get herself in such tricky guy situations.
"This could work," she whispers, and I almost fall to the ground at her words.
I rest my forehead against hers with my eyes fluttered closed, trying to take in every simple moment that went down.
"I've been so distracted lately because did I ever mention that I'm in love with my best friend?"
she throws her head back laughing but I pull her back in, smiling until my cheeks hurt, "and that I was so terrified you were going to leave me in a parking lot when it's below zero and freezing?"
We both laugh at that, and she kisses my cheek as she says, "Shawn, I don't care how mad I could be at you, I don't need to pay a hospital bill for hypothermia."
"You're blushing," I whisper, pulling back the slightest to see the soft pink on her neck and cheeks.
"I'm blushing because, did I ever mention that I loved you too?"
_____________________________________________________________________________________Cheesy cheesy cheesy but I'm posting this early because if I forget to post it tomorrow I might die so here you go I hope you loved it and didn't cringe too much.
~ Leah
