Addilyn's POV:
I sit in my room crying because of the intense fight me and shawn had. I can hear him downstairs probably cleaning up the documents I threw out of frustration. The screaming was so loud I couldn't hear myself think and it's always the same god damn topic.
*****
"ADDILYN HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO GO THROUGH THIS," he screamed at me, tears running down my cheeks, it's impossible to try to fight them, they always win.
"GO THROUGH WHAT SHAWN?" My voice raised louder than his and it only caused him to be angrier with me, "SORRY IF IT'S HARD HAVING YOU AWAY ALL THE TIME! IT'S HELL SHAWN IT'S HELL AND I HAVE TO WATCH OTHER PEOPLE'S HUSBANDS COME HOME AND I'M ALONE ALL THE TIME AND YOU DON'T EVEN CARE." I let out shaky sobs trying to regain composure, I'm sure he thinks I'm just begging for attention. When does he never not think that.
"DO OTHER PEOPLE'S HUSBANDS HAVE A JOB LIKE MINE?" His voice begins to crack out of all the stress he has put on it. I just let myself cry again realizing this won't be over soon.
"Shawn," I say quietly in hopes of trying to calm things down, I let out a cry, "when you came back you didn't even come here first. You went to a bar with your friends." More sobs uncontrollably come out of my mouth. "I was waiting here for you to come home and you didn't even take that into consideration. That hurts."
I wipe my eyes finding Wattery mascara on the backs on my hand and I can hear shawn breathing angrily, probably because I'm right and he knew what he did hurt me.
"OF course," he says with an angry sarcastic tone throwing his hands in the air giving up, "how could I forget it's all about you."
"SHAWN NO!" I yell out of frustration of the fact that he doesn't get it, "I just miss you, and all I'm asking is that you could at least tell me that your not coming back until late, and that you made plans I had no idea where you were." My voice cracks at the end making me sound squeaky.
"You know what Addilyn?" He sighs and closes his eyes shaking from the frustration. "Maybe I shouldn't have come back, things were going great before I came home."
Hearing those words was like a punch in my stomach and It knocked the breath out of me. I breathe out with disgust and wipe all his music that he had written down on paper off the table.
"YOU BITCH." He yells kneeling on the floor frantically trying to figure out the order of his papers while I run up stairs screaming from all the hurt.
*****
I cradle my knees harder against myself crying into them as the fight keeps replaying in my mind.
He always does this when he's wrong and I'm sick and tired of it.
I throw my head back softly against the wall trying to regain my breath, the sobbing completely making my heart throb and everything shake.
I can hear him coming up the stairs and down the hall towards our bedroom and I just lose it again letting out a muffled scream, covering my mouth with a shirt on the floor.
He softly knocks, expecting me to unlock the door and let him in.
"Addilyn," he says, sounding as if he's about to cry, "I'm sorry just please open the door. I won't yell anymore."
"Go away shawn," i cry covering my eyes with the palms of my hands.
I hear him whisper, "please," and it's barely audible.
"Go back to the bar and get wasted there because I'm not talking to you. So unless you're planning on standing there all night I'd find something to do."
I hear a quiet sob come from the other side of the door and I fight the emotions that make me want to feel bad for him. Shawn being upset always makes me sad because I hate seeing him like this.
"Baby girl just let me try," he sniffles and I hear him try the door again only to find out its still locked.
I climb on our bed sitting cross legged, just staring out the window trying to ignore him.
After about 2 minutes I hear his back slide down the door.
So he's just going to sit here?
I go to my vanity and remove my melted makeup and change into one of shawn's t-shirts, being too big on me, and shorts that he got me last christmas.
I climb in bed on his side and turn off the lamp falling to sleep, hoping he ends up on the couch.
****
I wake up checking the clock seeing it's 3 am, it's been 5 hours since our fight, and since i left him out there.
I groggily get up picking up his pillow remembering how uncomfortable the couch pillows are and feeling bad that he has to sleep there.
But when I open the door I find him with his back against the wall with his head slightly thrown back resting, sleeping in a very uncomfortable position.
I sigh of guilt realizing it was probably cruel to not let him apologize and not let him go to bed in his own.
I get down on the floor and kiss his cheek, it's sticky from the dried tears, and he wakes up and immediately hugs me.
"I'm sorry," he breathes into my neck and I hug him tighter.
"It's okay shawn I'm sorry too I shouldn't have said what I did."
"No, no, no," he whispers sadly in my ear, "you were right I was just stubborn I really didn't think about what I was saying. Truth is I missed you so much and I'm so sorry I didn't come home and spend time with you like I wanted. The dumbest thing I've done princess."
He rests his chin on my shoulder as we sit there holding each other.
"I love you shawn," i say comforting him, "you know that right? And there's nothing I couldn't forgive you for."
He breaks the hug leaning back and cupping my face. I wish I could see his but it's too dark.
"I love you so much," he rubs his thumb on my cheek relaxing me, "let's go to bed yeah?"
We stand up tiredly and make our way back into our bedroom and when we're both comfortably laying down shawn wraps me in his arms from behind tightly, kisses my cheek, and quickly falls into a peaceful sleep.
________________________________________~been a while since I've written one of these
~Leah
